On the eve of your funeral Neil…I wanted to say goodbye.

I do so with deep sadness…and almost disbelief that you aren’t here anymore. While your phone calls in recent years were not frequent…I treasured them…and it was always a treat to hear from you. I looked forward to your Christmas letter and note…filling me in on what happened to you in the year gone by.

Not sure that I can put into words…how much I loved you and what you meant to me.

I don’t remember the exact day I met you. Not sure if it was when you came in to audit the store I worked in as bookkeeper? Or maybe it was to investigate some cash variance or other area of concern? But I do remember when you really made an impression on me. It was when I worked at the Outlet store. That store was something else. There was always an issue at hand that had you in the store almost daily conducting a Loss Prevention investigation. When you needed information or help on the bookkeeping end…you asked me for some help.

That’s when the Loss Prevention bug bit this girl. I loved it from the get go…and it changed my life. I continued on with bookkeeping for about another year or so…and then got up the courage to call you and ask for an LP job. You were game…and I was interviewed for the job of Loss Prevention Agent. After the interview…which I think took place at McDonald’s…I had a polygraph. I was nervous…but passed and was given an LP job.

I trained as an Agent in the Hollywood store. Oh my gosh…that sure was a different place. Glad it wasn’t a permanent location for me. I worked in multiple locations…and you were my boss. While I didn’t do a terrible job at catching shoplifters…it sure wasn’t my strong suit. But you were patient with me…and about a year later…moved forward with the idea of a Loss Prevention Office Coordinator. It was a new position that was being created and defined at that time. So I joined Eva in that role. She had LA North…and I had LA West which was in your area.

What fun we had. It was something brand new…and we figured it out as we went along. I loved our travels to different stores…and digging in to the reports and finding out what was going on. Each day had something new and challenging. We did some good stuff Neil…and had some fun along the way.

I loved hearing your tales…whether from your LA PD days…or interesting investigations that you had handled over the years. The love and passion you had came through when you talked about those times.

Things changed and we moved on…you worked in a different area and I changed jobs. For a while…we didn’t talk a lot…things were a bit bumpy. But fortunately…that changed too. Now all these years later…I’d be hard pressed to remember what caused our falling out. It didn’t last…and you were gracious…and our friendship resumed.

All too soon you were announcing your retirement. It seemed unreal…after all you had been the backbone, heart and soul of our department. How in the world would we get along without Neil Parker. But the time was right for you and your family to make that move.

You didn’t stay retired for long. You ended up back in law enforcement…working at the federal court houses. I’d hear from folks now again about seeing you at the court house when they were on jury duty or responding to a subpoena.

I was most blessed that you did keep in touch. A phone call every now and then keeping me up to date on what was going on in your life. I think we even squeezed in lunch, now and again.

Neil…you believed in me and gave me a chance. You believed in me when no one else did. I thank you from the depths of my heart.

You made a difference in my life…a difference for good. You were giving, encouraging, gracious and forgiving. You unabashedly spoke of your faith in your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Neil…I love and I miss you. I know with absolute confidence that you are in heaven with your Savior. You have entered into your rest…and have heard those much prized word, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

I know that when I die I will join you…and I look forward to that day. I will see my Savior Jesus Christ face to face…and join those who proceeded me to heaven.

So while I am sad and will miss you…I look forward to our reunion one day. What a lovely day that will be. Neil…say “Hi!” to Hugo for me…and I’ll catch you on the flip side. See you kid!

Today marks my 21st anniversary working at Sav-on Drugs.

In some respects it’s made bittersweet by the sad news of the death my friend and former boss, Neil Parker. Neil was very influential in my career…and I owe him much more than I can say.

While I’ve held a number of positions over the years…I remember quite clearly how I got my first job with the company. I had been working for a number of years at a local department store called Wineman’s. That day we had just gotten news that another company, the Boston Store, was buying us out. I had just been interviewed and was offered a job as a supervisor with the new company.

While at work that same day, I received a call from my friend Kathy. For some time I had been applying at Sav-on Drugs trying to get a job as a bookkeeper. This would prove to be my lucky day. Kathy was calling to tell me if I went to the Sav-on in the same shopping center I would be interviewed for a bookkeeper position.

Well lickety split…I was down at Sav-on for my interview…and thank you Lord…I was given the job. I was to start work at Sav-on #69 in Fullerton, CA. The store has since closed and been relocated.

I was trained by a terrific bookkeeper, Gayle. She had high standards and communicated things clearly. She got me off to a good start. I loved my job as a bookkeeper. Now I probably shouldn’t say this…but in school…math was always my weak point. But when I became a bookkeeper…suddenly math clicked and I understood it. It made sense. I worked as a bookkeeper for 4 years.

During that time…I ended up working at a temporary outlet store in addition to my own store. It was wild there…a whirlwind…even now it boggles my mind. This is where I ended up meeting Neil Parker. He was the Loss Prevention Manager for that area. And trust me…Neil made frequent visits to that store…just to try and keep things in line. That was where I was bit by the Loss Prevention bug…and have been sold ever since.

I continued to be a bookkeeper for about another year…but finally worked up the courage to ask Neil for a job in LP. I was interviewed for the job…and back then had to take a polygraph test…which thankfully, I passed.

I started out my LP career as an LP Agent catching shoplifters. While not wretched at it…I would catch them…but it scared the heck out of me. In fact sometimes I would even start shaking when I’d see someone shoplifting because I knew I have to stop them. While they may have been thieves…fortunately…most were not violent. There were a couple of scary times…but God had His hand of protection upon me. I only worked an agent for about a year…one very long year.

Next…I was an “office coordinator”. Along with another lady at work…we were the first to start that position. It was very interesting…and allowed me to approach LP from a paperwork and research standpoint. Suited my abilities much better.

Not sure I remember how long I was an office coordinator. But next I was the supervisor for the in house collections department. That was a different story altogether. What I did like about that job was having the ability to help customers…if they were a victim of a crime and their checkbook had been stolen…or even if they just had some bad times. But I’ll tell you…those collection agencies that we had to deal with made my blood boil. I keep thinking that someone would be hailed as a genius if they came up with the idea of doing collection on bad debt with the key motivation to keep those good, long term customers and not alienate them.

Another bright spot of that job was a wonderful, beautiful woman name Marion. Marion was such woman of character. She was a single mom…and had a wonderful son Jonathan. Marion was such a hard worker…did quality work…and she really truly cared. She cared about the people she worked with and our customers. She’d knocked herself out to help someone. I knew if I wanted the job done right…Marion was the person to have work along side me. Marion died from ovarian cancer…and her loss was very painful…but she left a lasting impression. I will always remember her.

The department was closed when they consolidated everything in our Franklin Park office. Disappointed and scared described me then. But God had His hand upon me. I felt that he impressed upon me the scripture verse, “My grace is sufficient for you.” I clung to that verse and listened to inspirational tapes daily, during that time. And God brought me through.

He laid a burden upon the heart of Peter Bartholomew. Peter took pity on me…and offered me the job of secretary for the Loss Prevention department as his then secretary had recently quit. Now keep in mind…I didn’t even know how to turn on a PC/computer. I had worked on a Wang…which was quite a bit different. You’ll understand how precious this man is when you know that after hiring me…he asked, “Do you know how to type?”. God bless that man.

Peter gave me the classes I needed to get up to speed on the computer…and eventually unleashed the monster that loves the computer…and now blogs daily. I thank God and I thank Peter for my job. I love it…and I love the people I work with. I love the challenge of my job. I love the fact that I’ve been given freedom to grow and develop in my job…and that I’m able to give input.

I work with a group on people directly in my department that ranges from about 20 to 30 people. Additionally there are many others in our stores. And of course there is a lot of interaction with other departments…so to say I’m never board is an understatement. I love my job! (Just between you and me…there are times they make me a wee bit crazy too.)

I’ve had some terrific bosses in LP over the years…Peter Bartholomew, Terry Sullivan, Len Thielen, Louis Escarcega, Robert Wiltfang and my current boss Doug Kuripla. They are each tremendous people…and I consider it a privilege to have worked with them. Peter always used the phrase, “Simply the Best”…and by golly these folks really are.

Do I have a favorite…out of all these people? You bet ya I do…I wouldn’t tell to save my life. But kind of like a mom…while she may have one child that she really connects with…she loves each child in their own special way. There is something special about each one.

So on this 21st anniversary…I thank God for my job…and for the people with whom I’ve worked for low these many years. Blessings to you all.

Please be sure to read the posting “On a Personal Note” by Cindy Swanson. It’s a beautiful piece that she republished on the one year anniversary of her father’s death.

Her father, Thomas V. “Pepper” Garrett passed away a year ago on July 28th.

This writing illustrates perfectly what the death of a believer can be like. Something beautiful and not a struggle…like one going home. It’s also shows the reassurance and peace you can have when a loved who is a believer dies.

Cindy has some great postings on her website definitely worth exploring.

A couple of follow up notes on this thing called faith.

Tonight I was talking with a gentleman named Mike about faith. About not doubting God’s ability to answer my prayers…but knowing that He may answer them by giving something different than what I asked for…or later on down the line.

Mike added that we know that God sees that which don’t see…He can see further down the way…and know if something is good for us or not. You ever have those moments when you actually, maybe, kind of, sort of “get it”. Hearing Mike’s answer was one of those moments.

We can be certain that God’s answer to our prayers will be one that fits His plans and purposes. And yes…I’ve heard what Mike said before and maybe even uttered those words myself…but it really clicked this time.

Second note…thanks to David Fisher from Pilgrim Scribblings for his kind words. David is so open and transparent…and shares so freely. I’m enriched with each trip I make to Pilgrim Scribblings. Thank you!

From Webster’s Dictionary…here the definition of faith:

Main Entry: 1faith Pronunciation: ‘fAthFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural faiths /’fAths, sometimes ‘fA[th]z/Etymology: Middle English feith, from Old French feid, foi, from Latin fides; akin to Latin fidere to trust — more at BIDE

1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : LOYALTY b (1) : fidelity to one’s promises (2) : sincerity of intentions

2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust

3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs

synonym see BELIEF–
in faith : without doubt or question : VERILY

Time for a little “true confession”. Sometime I feel like a complete failure as a Christian…especially with regards to faith. Oh not faith in God or if He exists…I absolutely believe in God. No doubt there. I guess I ought not to say that so glibly…since there was a time before I became a Christian…when my belief in God was not fully manifest. And there have been those dark times as a Christian…where I cry out to God…”Are you there God?”.

But right now…I’m trying to figure out faith and how it intersects with believing God and trusting that he will answer my prayers.

Sometimes I almost feel envious of those folks in the so called word faith movement. They seem to have the ability to pray for something…and despite the current circumstances believe that God will answer their prayers just as they have asked.

I’ve never really been able to muster up that kind of faith. I know that God is servant to no one. That He is not obligated in any way to answer my prayers. It doesn’t matter if I pray in some set manner or utter certain words…He is God and I am not. He will answer my prayers that He chooses to, in the manner in which He chooses to do so…in His time frame, not my own.

Yet…I know that I don’t want to not ask God in faith…and get to heaven and find out all that God would have given me, but didn’t, because I didn’t ask.

I also can appreciate the idea of believing and focusing on the goal. I learned that from an athletic perspective. Now for those of you that know me personally…don’t you dare laugh. Yes I fully acknowledge, I ain’t going to be winning any marathons any time soon. Yet seven years ago when I started walking…it enabled me to lose weight and keep it off. I learned from walking and some running that when I focus on the goal that which is ahead of me…tune out the distractions around me…I can get to that goal. So belief, focus and faith are invaluable.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Yet… in Hebrews 11 the great chapter on faith, person after person is commended for their faith…faith in which they don’t see answers to their prayers, nor do they see God’s prophecies fulfilled during their lifetime.

Hebrews 11:39 “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.”

But their prayers were answered, God’s promises were fulfilled…it was just in God’s time, not their own.

I am a realist…and quite honestly there have been many prayers that God has said no to or has seemingly not answered. Now I will fully grant you that if you say that it’s because I lack faith that He didn’t answer my prayers…you may be right.

So my struggle and questions with faith and prayer continue. However…I feel like I’ve come to good place to be with it all. That is, knowing and believing that God is able to answer my prayers. Taking my needs, and even wants and desires to God in prayer. Yet…trusting God and saying, “Thy will be done.” Accepting in peace that which gives me. (Some days that attutide is a struggle and evades me.)

I’m sure some days I’m like a small dog yapping at the heals of Jesus…and continuing to pester Him for that which so far He has not answered…at least not how I want Him to answer my prayers.

So a faith failure I may be…but at least I have a certain measure of peace and trust in God that I didn’t previously hold.