As I was praying this last week, I felt rather downcast and hopeless. I had finished praying for the salvation of people whom God has laid on my heart. It seems that the list continues to increase. Some of the people have been on the list for many years. Some people have moved on and I may never see them again, but I continue to pray for their salvation.
As I walked into Corner Bakery to pick-up my breakfast, I felt that the Lord rebuke me for my downcast attitude.
Here I am praying to the God of the universe…the Creator of all things, the One Who spoke the words and our world came into existence. God, Who from before the foundations of the world, knew me and chose to save me from my sin through the atoning death of His Son, my Savior Jesus Christ. God Who knows me intimately, knows the number of hairs on my head, knows my thoughts before the words come out of my mouth and puts my tears in a bottle. I’m praying to Almighty God and I’m feeling downcast? Are you kidding me?
I felt as if God challenged me that day. I pray many prayers, but am I on the lookout for God at work each day. Do I look expectantly and am I excited to see what God is doing each day?
To prove His point, later that day I had an encounter with someone for whom I’ve been praying. I got to hear what God is doing in their life, a definite God thing…a work that only He could be doing.
My downcast and hopeless feelings were nothing short of unbelief, which is sin. I didn’t have my eyes on God, nor trust Him and His perfect timing to answer my prayer.
Now I’m choosing to remind myself to Whom I’m praying to each day, and be on the lookout for the answers to those prayers and see God actively at work in all situations.
It was with mixed feelings that I returned to work following my six week leave to heal from back surgery.
I would have never guessed how much I would enjoy being off for so long. I thought I would be bored, especially since I was restricted in what I could do. No lifting, bending or twisting. Do you have any idea how many activities involve one or all of those actions? Simple things, everyday things that you don’t give a second thought to unless you can’t do them. I wasn’t able to drive for four weeks and was at home most of the day.
I found the time passed quickly and I enjoyed each day. I was able to go for a couple of walks each day and over time increased my distance. When I got home from my morning walk, I spent time in the backyard praying. I was able to work on a Bible study and read. The six weeks went by so quickly, I could hardly believe that it was time to return to work.
The first five weeks of my leave were the most peaceful time of my life. I got a picture of what it’s like to be stress free. Each day I looked forward to Chris coming home from work. Sometimes we went for a walk, sometimes we watched a movie or read. Nothing big or monumental, but it was time we enjoyed each other without the demands, stress and pressures of life intruding in on our relationship. My last week was busy with various appointments so that I could ensure that everything was handled before I returned to work.
It was with tears that I returned to work. Both my husband Chris and I were sad that this time of peace and enjoying each other, without pressing demands from the outside world, had ended.
This is not to say that I’m not grateful to have a good job with a good company. How could I not be, especially these days when so many people are out of work for extended periods of time? I am grateful, yet at the same time, I long to be home.
My first day back at work, I felt cushioned by God’s grace. After that, it was stepping back in the stream of things, a fast flowing stream. By God’s grace and with full dependence up Him, I am getting back into the swing of things.
I am so grateful to be out of pain and for the peaceful days that I was able to spend recovering from surgery. I’m grateful for the loving care and support of my husband Chris. I’m grateful for God’s presence in my life, be it at home while praying in my back yard, or when I’m at work or in rush hour traffic, or when I come home tired at the end of the day…He is always with me. Thank You Lord. Of all the memories of my time off, the time I spent with You in prayer and in Your Word mean the most to me Lord. A taste of things to come.