One of the things I’ve found most difficult, yeah even irritating, during this time of waiting is to see and feel as though some people have given up on me.
When I doubt and fear…am I giving up on God?
Do I on occasion have doubts and questions as to what God is doing…and why I have an extended delay in finding out about my desired job? You bet ya I do. But I can’t afford to remain in doubt and unbelief. And while it is my desire that my friends would stand with me in faith…when they fall away…I’m going to instead turn to the Lord.
God has been teaching me a whole heck of a lot during this time. Right now…I believe he’s teaching me to not fear…but to instead believe him, his word, and trust in his character and his love for me. That right now…I am to stand firm and see the deliverance of the Lord.
Waiting has always been a challenge for me. I like to move forward, I like to act. I just hate waiting…especially when that wait entails or the answer is dependent upon the actions of another.
Right now…I don’t know if God will grant my prayer to be given this new job? I don’t know…all I know is that right now…my instructions are to wait.
Just recently…when I was feeling weak willed and weak in my faith…I doubted that if I was offered this job, if I would accept it. But during this waiting time…God has clarified in my mind…that yes…I do want this job and why I want it.
Might God have a different path and plan and purpose for me that he has not yet revealed? Absolutely…but right now I know only what he is showing me…and that is to stand firm and wait. No matter what…he has a different path than what I have been on. But what that plan is…God will reveal in his time.
Satan is the only one who benefits when I have fear and doubt God. Only Satan benefits when I question if God is powerful enough to answer my prayers. Only Satan benefits when I doubt God’s love for me. Only Satan benefits if I wonder does God hear me…and is he there. Only Satan benefits…when I doubt if God cares for me.
And Satan is effectively able to use my doubts and fear as an instrument of destruction in my life and the lives of those who know me. Especially those who don’t yet know Christ as their Lord and Savior.
“Oh there you are little Christian girl…and so you have to wait a while longer for answered prayer…and now you are doubting your God. He must not care for you or love you. I thought you said God was all loving? So are you telling me that God does not love you?”
“Oh Christian girl…I thought that your God was all powerful and all knowing. It seems like you don’t believe that he can handle your little problems. I thought you said your God was omnipotent? Well I guess that’s not really true now, is it?”
“Hey there Christian girl…why are you looking so glum? I remember you telling me that God is all knowing…that he is omniscient. So are you telling me…as you tremble in doubt, fear and unbelief that God doesn’t know what’s going on with you?”
“Christian girl…are you feeling all alone and deserted? I thought you had said something about God being omnipresent? So are you telling me that he is everywhere except with you in your circumstances?”
“Hey Christian girl…you talk a good talk…but when push comes to shove…you seem to shove your faith right out the door. So next time you want to witness to me on just how powerful and loving you God is…stop because I don’t want to hear it. After all…I’ve seen first hand in the lives of God’s people that they don’t really believe all that they are saying.”
So just thinking about how my doubts and fears can be used by Satan…makes me fear and tremble. If my faith fails me…it may impact a lot more people than just me.
I hate giving up…I hate letting the enemy or evil win. Not this day…not this hour…and not with me. Instead I will choose to trust in God and his word. While my circumstances don’t currently bear witness to the deliverance of the Lord…I must stand, wait and trust that I will soon see that deliverance.
In the mean time…hopefully I can be an influence for good in the lives of others…that will also face difficult circumstances. When they see how despite silence and no quick answer I trusted in God…then perhaps they too will turn to God.
I serve a risen Savior Jesus Christ. He defeated death on that cross. He is fully God and fully man. He is all knowing, he is everywhere present, he is all powerful…and he is love and motivated by love.
That same Jesus is Lord over my life…and all my circumstances. And I will choose to trust him…and look to him to be my deliverer. I will stand firm and see the deliverance of the Lord. I will look into his Word to encourage my heart and soul. And when I have doubts…and fears…and when I am hurting and tears fall…I will look to the Lord to comfort me, build and encourage my spirit.
Tears and sadness aren’t the same as doubt…but instead mean I can turn to the Lord for comfort when I need it. He may choose to bring others into my path to be that instrument of comfort.
So I’m claiming this promise as my own…and I look forward to seeing the deliverance of the Lord in my life.
“You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’ ” – 2 Chronicles 20:17