“God…I want to be at the center of Your will. Dead center…spot on. If this is not Your desire than I pray that You will close the door so hard that I can not mistake Your will. I pray that I will desire Your will for my life so much that I will hear only Your words and not my own desire. God…I would rather be on the road that You designed for me…a road not of my own choosing with you…than to be on the road I want to be on but without You.”
Those words were my prayer over the last few days and weeks as I applied for a new job and awaited word on the results. I found myself at absolute peace…and was comfortable with the thought of someone else getting the job instead of me. Yet…I desired a change and was hopeful that this would be what God has called me to.
But I knew…no matter what…if it wasn’t God’s will…I didn’t want it. I want Jesus walking with me daily…not me wandering off on some wild trek that looks appealing to my flesh.
So when I got the call and the offer I was at peace. Somewhat excited…but mostly at peace. It wasn’t something to boast or brag about…except to rejoice in God’s faithfulness to me through a difficult year.
I’m excited for a number of reasons…including the opportunity to learn a new area of the business. To continue to learn and grow. I also feel that God has a definite calling on me regarding this job. What exactly that call is…I don’t know…but He does and He will reveal it in His perfect timing. But I’m mindful that there is no greater risk of failure than now…right after I have had a success. I risk being prideful and believing that my success has to do with me and something that I did…instead of knowing that this was a work of God.
So it is with fear and trembling that I will step into this new role…cognizant that it is imperative that I walk in a manner that will bring praise, honor and glory to Christ Jesus. This group of people doesn’t know me…and it’s a place where I don’t have an established track record. I may have been employed for almost 23 years continually with the same company…bought out several times over…but these folks are new to me and I to them.
I give Jesus praise for the work He has done. I ask Him to help me to do excellent work and finish my current job strong. To leave with a good record as far as the work and people go.
I’ve learned a lot being in this place I didn’t want to be. It’s revealed things in me…both good and not so good. I’ve learned how important it is to have a good attitude…even in the midst of difficult times or when you daily have curve balls thrown at you. I’ve learned the importance of working diligently…no matter what my neighbor does. I’m accountable to God for me…not them. I’ve learned that stress will take it’s toll on my body…and that I need to take better care of my body, mind, soul and spirit. I’ve learned that while I may have a few health challenges…to be thankful that in the scheme of things…it’s minor and a condition that I can do something about it. I’ve learned to be thankful for having health insurance. In all my years of employment…I’ve gone to the doctor more this last year than the proceeding 22 years. I’ve learned that I’ve still got far to go. That it seems too hard and unachievable and that I’d better be on my knees in prayer seeking wisdom, guidance and strength.
I’ve been reminded about a core principal that I’ve had and known over the years…and that is to pray for my enemies. When I have someone difficult…that I don’t like or someone who has caused me a boat load of hurt…that there is only one remedy…and that is prayer. Not prayer that God will smite them…but instead to pray for them. Pray for their needs, cares, woes and concerns. To give over to God my hurt and bitterness over past hurts so that I might forgive. Do I walk a perfect walk…and struggle no more? Yeah right…uhhhh…not even. But I have improved and do work through this process quicker than before. Thank You Lord!
I’ve learned that I want to pursue God and follow hard after His lead in my life. I’ve learned that I need more sleep…thus an abrupt close to this article…as my body beckons that I arise and turn off the computer and head to bed…which I will do.
Good night to you all…wishing you evening grace as you follow in the wake of God’s will.