Category Archives: Expectations

Five Minute Friday – Letting Go of Expectation

Posted in Expectations, Five Minute Friday, The Gypsy Mama by

When I hear the word expectation the first thing that comes to mind was our first year of marriage.
One of the best examples of our differences and expectations is getting up in the morning.  I tend to rise early in the morning and once I’m up, I’m awake.  Chris says I’m perky and very talkative.  On the other hand, morning is not Chris’ favorite time of day.  He wakes up more slowly and is quiet. 
My expectation was that when Chris got up he would want to talk and be engaging.  From my past experiences, I thought that when someone was quiet and silent that they were angry.
As you can imagine, I interpreted Chris’ quiet wake up time as anger at me.  I didn’t have a clue as to what he was angry about, but I couldn’t understand why he was so quiet.  Chris assured me that he wasn’t angry that he was just waking up differently than I do.  Even though he explained it, I don’t think I quite understood that until later. 
These days we both have our routines.  I still get up early and do many things and find myself talking to our kitties and birds.  Chris gets up a little bit later and wakes up more slowly. 
Once I was able to let go of my expectation and stop coloring and interpreting Chris based on past experiences, I was able to let Chris be himself. 


A day late…but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to participate in The GypsyMama’s Five Minute Friday.  Head on over and give it a try and be sure to read the writings of many gifted individuals while you are there. 
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Grace Expectations

Posted in Expectations, God's Will, Grace by

Have you ever noticed that expectations…both great and small…can be a huge source for unhappiness and discontentment?  Discontentment with family, friends, work, home and church to name a few. 
 
After running smack dab into the wall of expectations…I think perhaps there’s a better way.
 
That’s not to say we should do away with expectations all together.  It’s reasonable and even godly to expect our spouse to be faithful and fulfill wedding vows.  It’s reasonable for parents to expect a child to be obedient and respectful.  It’s reasonable…but goodness knows it doesn’t always happen.
 
I don’t think having low expectations is good thing.  God doesn’t have low expectations of us.  He commands our love and requires our obedience and there are consequences when we fail.  God’s expectations, unlike ours, are not motivated out of sin or selfishness. 

Sometimes we’ll say we have no expectations in an effort to spare ourselves the hurt and disappointment that we feel when other people or circumstances fall short of our expectations.
 
So what’s a better way?  I believe that God is challenging me…to run my expectations through the grid of His will.  Is what I’m expecting in line with God’s will for the people and circumstances in my life?  When it is, then I can freely and boldly bring my requests to God in prayer. 
 
That’s not to say that God will impose His will upon each person and that everything will turn out the way I want.  But it means that I can pray with confidence.
 
When my expectations don’t line up with God’s will…it’s often because my expectations are motivated out of selfishness, fear or wanting to be in control. 

When others fall short…and circumstances don’t measure up to my expectations…it’s imperative that I deal with people graciously.  God has been gracious and merciful to me.  I’m also motivated to be gracious because I’m well aware of my own sinful nature and past failures. 

Perhaps the key is to have “grace expectations”.  Expectations that line up with God’s will and grace given generously to those who fall short. 
 

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Seeds of Discontent

Posted in Checklist, Christian Radio, Expectations, Marriage and Family by

Each program intended to build up and edify
Instead sows seeds of discontentment
Bringing a bountiful harvest of discouragement
 
Discussions on what a perfect marriage and family should be
Serve as a reminder
That reality often differs from the ideal
 
Examples on how to be a better husband and wife
Instead highlight imperfections
In the spouse that God has given us
 
Perhaps the better route is to read the manual given by our Creator
Let God guide and direct us through His word
Speak to our hearts through prayer
 
We’ll likely find God requires us
To remove the beam from our own eye
Before removing the speck from our spouse’s eye
 
Marriage a tool in the hand of God
Used to buff out our sin nature
Make us more like Christ
 
God cares more about our holiness than our happiness
But we can achieve both
When we yield to the hands of the Master
 
By Susan Bunts Wachtel
May 11, 2010
 
Do you ever listen to Christian radio programs about marriage and family only to find yourself discouraged because your life is not quite the ideal that they are portraying?  Sometimes I’ll be listening to a list of things that my husband should be doing, according to the resident expert, and realize that Chris is not living up their checklist.  According to their list…I’m falling far short of what it is to be an ideal wife.
 
I have no doubt…that we are both a work in progress.  That God is in the process of forming and shaping us and using our spouse as a tool.  Sometimes it’s a painful process.
 
Perhaps it’s time for me to fast from a few of the marriage and family programs.  Instead, pick up God’s word to see what He requires of us.  Take up the challenge to pray for my husband, instead of comparing him to someone else’s checklist.  Ask God how I might encourage Chris in his quest to be the man and the husband that God wants him to be.  Read what God requires of me as a wife and seek God’s help to walk according to His plan. 

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