For Better or For Worse

This probably falls under the “for worse” that Dave warned us about when we took our wedding vows. 

I think I’ve been to the doctors more in the last three months than I have in my entire life.  After having intense back pain for 2 months, my doctor ordered and MRI to find out what was causing sciatica that isn’t going away. 

The results came back pretty quickly.  Within a couple of days my doctor emailed me the diagnosis, “degenerative changes most noticeably at L4-5 where there is severe canal stenosis attributed to a 5 mm central disc bulge.  At the level of L5-S1, there is mild canal stenosis.  This explains your symptoms.”

I’m not too keen taking a lot of medicine and don’t want to be dependent upon pain killers.  I am grateful to have relief from pain through medicine…but want to keep it at the lowest level possible.  After all, I need to function in my daily life…working, driving, shopping, cleaning, attending church, Bible study, etc.

I’ve been amazed as I look back at the previousness of God in how He orchestrated circumstances in my life.  He knew that my work schedule would be more demanding and that I would need my rest on the weekends.  He knew that I would develop a condition in which it’s painful to sit for extended periods of time.  Thus God had me step aside from commitments that took a lot of time and required sitting. 

You never know when you are going through something how you will respond.  I’ve seen God give me the grace I never knew I could have to endure pain.

Until this happened, I don’t think I realized how much what happens to me effects my husband.  I guess that’s part of becoming one.  There are times I have a greater peace about what’s happening than Chris does. 

My husband Chris and I are asking for God to give us wisdom to determine what’s the best course of action to take and for wisdom for the doctor.  That she would be compassionate.  Of course we both know that God is well able to bring a miraculous healing to my back.  Should He choose to do so…we will praise Him.  In His sovereignty, should God choose not to heal me, we will praise Him.  I am learning that God is good all the time.  His goodness is not dependent upon Him making my life easy or perfect. 

The Previousness of God

The previousness of God
At work in my present
Revealed in my future
He is working all things together for good
For this one who loves the Lord

At His appointed time
He turns wrong into right
Bad into good
Weaving the circumstances of my life
Into the tapestry of His eternal plan

No need to fear
Or waste time with anxiety
Instead I am called to trust Him
When no answers are forthcoming
Or when I don’t understand

Oh to glorify Him
With my life
Testify to the goodness of God
In all circumstances
That is my heartfelt plea

By Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 13, 2009