1/14/07 At the End of the Day…Mixed Bag

Being that it’s Sunday…I almost feel obligated to have a post of a more spiritual nature. Indeed God was part of my day…as He is every day. Church was most excellent today. As I close everyday…I thank God for brining me to such a loving and wonder church as Kindred Community Church. Also I give thanks for living in this amazing country…in which we are able to freely worhsip and study the Word of God.

However…my post this evening may seem relatively frivolous. Each Sunday after church I go to see my mother and we watch a movie. Some old movies…some new. It’s the one time during the week…where I may actually sit down and rest for an hour or two.

This week…I chose to watch “The Goodbye Girl” dating all the way back to 1977. It’s one of my all time favorites. (Good golly…that’s 30 years ago. Jeepers creepers…I’m getting old!)

The Goodbye Girl is a charming, funny, touching romantic comedy. Richard Dreyfuss’ character Elliot is ever so cute and charming. Who could resist falling in love with one so fun, whimsical and romantic…okay, okay and sexy too? What a charmer he is. I find that I still identify with Paula, Marsha Mason’s character…one who has been hurt and is vulnerable…but covers it up with her quick, witty attitude…hiding her softer side for fear of bearing more scars.

I find that old movies that I once loved have become like comfort food for my emotions and soul. All too frequently I avoid romantic movies…since they seem to act as a painful reminder of my single status. But every once and while it’s nice to wrap around the thought of a nice romance…try it on for size. Boy oh boy…it feels ever so good. It reignites the hope that one day that deep longing and prayer will one day be answered.

Despite sneaking in a short nap…watching “The Goodbye Girl” was just what I needed.

On an uglier note…have I ever told you how much I hate Alzheimer’s? I hate it! Well my mom has Alzheimer’s as do all the residents of her section of the assisted living facility.

One of the ugly things with Alzheimer’s is how it robs you of your dignity. It’s wretched. There are days…when time with my mom is reduced to me reminding her to chew and swallow or wipe her nose when it’s running.

But that was the least of today’s ugliness. In the middle our time together in walked Floyd. Normally he is the sweetest man around…with his smile and easy going disposition. It’s not uncommon for the patients to get confused and disoriented and forget which room is theirs. So I gently try and steer them in right direction.

However today…Floyd would have none of that. He was quite agitated and wouldn’t cooperate. Something as simple as taking his hand and showing where he needed to go…wasn’t working. It’s amazing…for an elderly person who is quite frail and unsteady…how strong they can be. So I was surprised when not only did Floyd resist me leading him back to his room…but he was pushing me away.

It was a rather disconcerting situation. Alzheimer’s patients don’t always listen to reason. So trying a normal tactic like speaking in a soft, calming voice, taking his hand…didn’t get me anywhere. There’s no telling what Floyd was actually agitated about. The whole situation left me with a pit in the middle of my stomach…and a prayer that this won’t go on much longer. Somedays I feel like I can’t take much more of it…someday I just don’t want to take much more of it.

Not a pleasant day visiting my mom today. More and more…she is loosing her ability to relate. She doesn’t speak too much…and regular conversations are a thing of the past. Right now it’s mostly time spent together…hopefully doing something she enjoys.

To end on a good note…she does enjoy her Frappuccinos or Ice Blended drinks. I do have fun trying to select a new or different flavor to bring her each week.

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