Not the first of Your servants,
To experience doubt and unbelief,
A failure of faith.
From hope to despair,
The light turns to dark,
All comes crashing in.
Like David of old,
My soul cries out,
Have you forgotten, yeah even forsaken me?
I feel like Elijah,
Following his victory on the mount,
I am overcome with fear, trembling and doubt.
I let go,
I give up,
Ask the walls to come tumbling down upon me.
Your word assures me,
It bids me to trust Thee,
Believe in that which is yet unseen.
I can not,
It is beyond me,
My hope has been deferred for far too long.
I cry out,
In words known only,
To the Holy Spirit within.
He carries my requests,
Before the very throne room of God.
I bow before Thee,
In silence I wait,
You are my only hope.
Trembling with disbelief,
I dare not look up,
Else You will see tears shed in doubt and unbelief.
I lay them on the alter,
Take from You courage,
To believe in more than that which is seen.
I ask You for hope,
For the faith to believe,
To trust in Your goodness and mercy towards me.
In my circumstances,
You are at work, perfectly fitting him,
Whom You have chosen for me.
Dear Lord, how might I persuade you?
When Adam walked with You,
You declared, “It is not good for man to be alone!”
As Jacob wrestled with You Lord, so too will I cling,
I will not, no I will not let go,
Until Thou blesses me.
by Susan Bunts
October 12, 2007