As I start again the Beth Moore study Believing God…I’m finding that I’m going to be challenging some strongholds of doubt and unbelief in my life. Some of the ugly places…the things that I don’t think that I should have as a Christian.
There are times I wonder if I’m an aberration in the body of Christ? Am I the only one who struggles with doubt and unbelief?
Things like struggling with prayer. Do my prayers make a difference…or am I just wasting God’s time? After all…His will is going to happen anyway…shouldn’t I just submit instead?
No I shouldn’t surrender to the enemy’s lies that my prayers don’t matter. That’s what the person who most hates me in the whole entire world wants me to believe. He doesn’t want me to see and know that God loves me, cares about me and wants me to come to Him in faith, believing that He is good and entrusting Him with my concerns…and even the desires of my heart.
Satan wants me to doubt God. Doubt His goodness and doubt His character. He wants me to remain ignorant of God’s word. Or if I know what He says…to at least not believe it. Not believe that it applies to me personally. That what God promises in His word to His people…applies to me Susan.
When I don’t believe in a good God…one who loves me…it makes it harder to take my requests to Him in prayer. Why would I trust something that is most precious to me…to Someone who doesn’t loves me?
Satan likes to remind me daily…hourly…of how God has failed me…delayed…just plain not answered the prayer that is most important to me. He takes me on a tour of my life…to see how God has allegedly failed me. How He has turned His back on me…and just doesn’t care. He doesn’t love me…and I’m not worth it. That is the path of doubt and unbelief that the enemy likes to take me down.
While doing my first day’s homework…God reminded me that believing Him is work…it takes effort. It’s a choice I need to make daily…hourly…minute by minute. It takes no effort to believe the lies I’m being fed by Satan. But it takes effort to know God and His Word…to raise my shield of faith. It’s is work and takes faith to believe God…even when the evidence around me would say otherwise.
Now if I’m believing God…I will instead say that God’s delay in answering my prayer in giving me the desires of my heart…is because He is in the process of growing and preparing me…and working on the man whom I will marry. That God has a perfect timing and plan for me that He put in place from before the foundations of the world. That He is able to make a marriage which seems late in coming…perfect in His time. That it will be rich and full…and well worth the wait. That I will one day say…now I understand why You waited God.
Believing God is work…and I have an enemy who wants me to doubt God. He can not steal away my salvation…but he can make my life so miserable that I don’t even want to live anymore. Why would I allow him that victory?
But I can see most clearly that I don’t have the power and ability to have the faith I need on my own. If I’m going to get through this study…if I’m going to believe God, trust Him, take my requests to Him…and in confidence know that He will answer according to His perfect plan and timing…then He will have to give me the faith to believe.
So God…that is my first prayer…please give me the faith to believe You. I can’t do it on my own. So if You want me to believe…have faith…a powerful faith that brings down strongholds and exposes the lies of the enemy…then You will have to give it to me…fill me with faith. As Your word says…I can come confidently before Your throne with my requests…because I come to You in Christ Jesus my Lord.
Faith please…please give me the faith to believe God.