I walked in,
My first thought…
My Mom’s going to die here.
That smell hits my nose,
An odor of death surrounds me,
Makes me want to vomit…turn and run.
What little abilities she had,
Are quickly fading away,
There’s her body…but where’s the person I love?
The few words that used to be uttered,
Her occasional sentence is now all but gone,
In its stead…silence.
Her eyes that once would light up,
Along with a mischievous smile,
Has been replaced by a blank unresponsive stare.
Before she would grip my hand,
Now try as I might,
There’s nothing but a limp hand.
Tales of escape to Vegas,
Or climbing out of bed,
Have been taken over by one…who just wants to die.
Music that once inspired tapping toes,
As a knowing smile crossed her lips,
Can not even elicit a bob of her head.
Her life is ebbing away,
She’s given up…I fear she will soon die.
Will it be with me by her side?
Or in the cold dark of night,
Makes me want to vomit and run away,
But this sick feeling in my stomach,
Just will not go away.
Peace evades me as I question her salvation,
Please Lord…may her name be written,
In the Lamb’s Book of Life.
Your word assures me,
You desire that none would perish,
May she even now repent and receive Christ.
Even with a mind that may not comprehend,
You God…are able to reach in,
I beg You…may she please be saved.
By her bedside,
I told her about Jesus.
That nod…barely noticeable,
Is confirmation my Mother is now my sister in Christ.
As I walked out the door tonight,
Will I ever see her alive again?
April 9, 2008