Please check out Debra’s latest writing at As I See It Now. It’s called “So, Like, How am I doing?”.

It’s wonderful…very convicting, challenging and ultimately healing. She talks about how she reacts when offended by others.

Like Debra…I can say that I have learned over the years…it’s much better to choose not to be offended, forgive quickly…and move past the issue. Do I always succeed at that? No…but I’m getting better.

Two points I’m walking away with from Debra’s post is:

1) When offended…going to God and asking him, “God…how am I doing?”. Sometimes this can be a dangerous question…because when I erred…the Holy Spirit will let’s me know. Sometimes gently and sometimes it feels like more a whack upside the head. (Which I usually need right about then.)

2) Remember…that God give me the grace to forgive and change. He does not give me the grace to remain in unforgiveness, bitterness and anger. When I choose to remain offended, angry or bitter…it’s very draining, wearing and done entirely on my own power.

Wow…great article…please be sure to click on the link and read Debra’s article. As I See It Now…is a website I have bookmarked…and check regularly. Debra’s writings are wonderful. Always open and transparent…encouraging and feeds the soul. Also some fun and whimsy too. Thanks Debra…Atta Girl!

Today would have been my Grandmother’s 113th birthday. Grandma lived to be 93 years old…and passed way June 2, 1986…coming up on 20 years ago in just a few short months.

My Grandma and I were not very close while I was growing. For a lot of reason really…but mostly because we just had very different personalities and interests. Hurts that we each suffered in our lives may have put a barrier between us.

My Grandmother was a Christian and while she was still alive I was an unbeliever. I think that was one of the obstacles to a good relationship between us. Several years after she died…I did accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Now when thinking about Grandma…I wonder how our relationship would have been different if I had become a Christian earlier.

Anyway…Happy Birthday Grandma. I’ll see you in heaven one day. Perhaps then…we can be friends…and really get to know one another. And those flaws and limitations that hindered our relationship down here will go by the wayside. Say “Hi” to Grandpa for me.

I don’t have a lot of things from my Grandma…but do have an assortment of awesome photos. Enjoy!

It seems, as of late I’m feeling way overburdened…like I’m carrying the weight of the world around on my shoulders. With no one who will help…and no one who cares. Or least the weight of my world…from home to work, to family, friends, relationships, time…and on and on it goes.

Am I carrying burdens that God never intended for me to carry? Am I taking on burdens that aren’t mine? Am I assuming responsibility for that which only God can do?

In God’s word he tells us that his burdens are light. “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:30

If that is the case…could it be that burdens that I am carrying…are burdens of my own choosing…and not those which God has ordain for me?

Since they are not burdens that God has sent my way…to help me grow…is he obligated to help me? Will he help me? Yes…when I am willing to lay down those burdens. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28

Since I am taking on burdens and responsibilities that aren’t mine…does that mean that I don’t trust God? That I don’t trust him to work things out? Am I trying to do his job? Or is it that I don’t think that he will work them out according to what I desire, or in my timing? Not trusting God, why?

Do I believe the lies of our enemy…the adversary? I am listening to what he tells me about who God is and what he is like? Didn’t Satan pull the old trick…going all the way back to Adam and Eve? When I read the Bible…it’s so plain to see Satan’s schemes in the lives of others. I can even see the lies and deception in the lives of people I know today. Why am I so blind to it in my own life? What can I do to protect myself?

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” – Ephesians 6:10-12

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” – Psalm 68:19

One of my favorite places to visit is the Fullerton Arboretum at Cal State Fullerton.

Hope you too enjoy…this wonderful creature from God’s creation.

I’d like to wish all members of Kindred Community Church a very Happy Birthday…as we celebrate our 3rd anniversary as a church. We have been most blessed indeed by our Great God and Savior Jesus Christ.

For over 2 ½ years God blessed us with our dear former Pastor, Chuck Obremski…who is celebrating this special day in heaven with his Savior…along with some of our dear former members of Kindred who are gathered together with them. Our hearts are filled with thanksgiving and praise to Jesus Christ who has entrusted us with the precious gift of the Word of God to share with a needy, hungry and dying world.

Kindred Community Church is a most wonderful place to be. The word of God is taught in an uncompromising manner. We are committed to teaching, learning and sharing the Word of God. You won’t find a more loving and caring group of people. In need of prayer…this is the place to be. Kindred’s Prayer Team and congregation…will be praying for you and your prayer requests. Need some reinforcement for the week ahead…visit the Audio Ministry and equip yourself with God’s word. Feel the need to loose yourself in praise and worship to your Savior…Kindred’s Praise & Worship Team and Choir…will help lead the way.

If you live in the Southern California area…or are visiting…we’d love to see you. Click on the link for Kindred Community Church…to find out about us, where we are at and be sure to avail yourself of the great online resources. Hope to see you there…very soon!

May God bless you the coming week. May you be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might…as you stay rooted and grounded in the immovable, unchanging Word of God. God Bless!

Did you ever feel like giving up on someone?

You try and try…and no matter what…it’s not working. You feel like you’re throwing a ball…but they are not tossing it back. They catch it and hang on to it…or worse, just let it drop to the ground.

So you get discouraged…and throw up hands in the air and feel like walking away. Just give up and move on.

But then you remember. You remember that God didn’t give up on you. When you were faithless, he was faithful. When you wandered down that wrong path or took a wrong turn he was there when you turned around.

And God placed people in your life…that believed in you…or had faith in you. Even when you didn’t deserve it or do anything to earn it…they believed in you. When you did something stupid…they didn’t reject you. When it took you too long to come to your senses…they were there waiting and ready to walk with you once again.

So how do you back off and give someone space…without giving up on them? Or say “Okay…when you are ready…you let me know.”?

I don’t know. In some respects…it’s easier giving up. The pain isn’t ongoing, with an uncertain end in sight.

But then you think to yourself…if that was me…would I want them to give up on me? And the answer of course…is no. I guess that’s where patience, hope and perseverance comes in…and love? And maybe being willing to risk or accept a loss…on something may never come.

But ever hopeful that things will be made right…and God will redeem the time.

In a few short weeks I will be 47. Yikes!

In some respects I don’t really give a hoot and a holler…it doesn’t matter. In fact, I like the me I’ve grown into much better than what I was when I was younger.

What you find on this blog is pretty representative of what I’m like. It’s probably a place where I can be a wee bit more open and vulnerable. In fact…I’d be willing to bet I’m violating every known bit of advice…that would tell me never to show my weaknesses, doubts or fears. But that’s playing it a little too safe now, isn’t it?

The person I am at home…is pretty much the person I am a work or at church or when out about with friends. I don’t usually try to put on an act…and be something different than what I am. It’s a good thing to feel comfortable with who you are.

Nevertheless…the one thing that’s particularly painful for me is that I remain single. Even more painful than the thought of not having children.

And it’s not for lack praying, hoping, wishing or desiring to be married…that I remain single. There are times when I’m going about my daily life…and the pain of this “singlehood thing” is entirely too much. That’s when I imagine myself prostrate at the feet of Jesus. Bringing my pain…the thing that needs healing in my life to the Master. Words fail me at that time…but I know my Savior understands and feels that pain. He doesn’t take the pain away…but he’s there with me.

What I don’t know…or understand is why for low these many years…God has chosen not to answer my prayers. Is he saying wait? Is saying…Susan I’m growing you up…so that you will be a better wife to the man whom I’ve chosen for you? Is he saying…trust me and my timing? I have just the right man for you…but he’s not ready yet. Is he saying no? Or is he silent…and I just need to trust God and who he…and has revealed himself to be in his word? Trust, that he knows best.

I surely wish that if the answer is no…that God would take away this deep, deep desire and longing that I have in my heart, mind and soul. Right now there is not a day that goes by that it’s not part of my daily thoughts and prayers.

Sometimes people will try to give a word of encouragement or wisdom for this challenge. I know they mean well. Sometimes it comes from someone who purports to understand being single…but they’ve been married for many, many years. I think the only thing I might compare it to…is a woman being unable to conceive a child or even adopt. And she has family and friends all about her that have children or who are pregnant for the third or fourth time. And they say they understand what’s it’s like to not be able to get pregnant or have children. But that was for two or three or five years…not thirty or forty years or more.

And then sometimes I’ll see a person…who is single…and they’ve chosen to live with someone outside of wedlock or to have kids…even though they are not married. But that compromise is not even an option for me. Because I have chosen the better way…and that is to trust God. Not have my own way or own will in the face of what God has ordained as right.

The only person who’s been a healing balm where this whole thing is concerned is Margaret. Margaret is now in her 80’s. I know her from when we use to work together. She just loves on me when it hurts. She let’s me know that she loves me. She doesn’t try to pretend that it doesn’t matter or shouldn’t hurt or to shut up. She just loves and encourages me. Thank you my dear, dear friend!

Yet I keeping hoping and praying. Right now I don’t know what God’s answer is…but instead I’m living each day…ever hopeful. And when my faith fails me…I cling to hope…and God and ask, “How much faith will it take? God, what is your will?”

Alexander Solzhenitsyn, the Russian author who spent many years in the gulag of Siberia, bears witness to the power of the cross. After long suffering in the work camp of Siberia, he fell into despair. Like other prisoners, he had worked in the fields day after day, in rain and sun, during summer and winter. His days were filled with backbreaking labor and slow starvation. On a particular day, the hopelessness of his situation became too much. He saw no reason to continue living, to continue fighting the system. He thought that the rest of his life was meaningless since he would most likely die in this Siberian prison. His life made no difference in the world. So he gave up.

Laying his shovel on the ground, he slowly walked to a crude work-site bench and sat down. He knew that at any moment a guard would order him to stand up, and when he failed to respond, the guard would beat him to death, probably with his own shovel. He had seen it happen to many other prisoners.

As he waited, head down, he felt a presence. Slowly, he lifted his eyes and saw a skinny, old prisoner squat down next to him. The man said nothing. Instead, he drew a stick through the ground at Solzhenitsyn’s feet, tracing the sign of the Cross. The man then got back up and returned to his work.

As Solzhenitsyn stared at the sign of the Cross, his entire perspective changed. He knew that he was only one man against the all-powerful Soviet empire. Yet in that moment, he knew that there was something greater than the evil that he saw in the prison, something greater than the Soviet Union. He knew that the hope of all mankind was represented in that simple Cross. And through the power of the Cross, anything was possible.

Solzhenitsyn slowly got up, picked up his shovel, and went back to work. Nothing outward had changed, but inside, he received hope.

Years later, Solzhenitsyn’s writings enlightened the entire world, telling us not only about the horrors of the Soviet prisons, but also witnessing to the power of God and the hope of the Cross.

Did you ever hear a sermon or lecture…and something that the Pastor or teacher says really touches you. Below is an excerpt from sermon called Desperation to Dependence.

Letter from an unknown pastor to his congregation about a month after he had been diagnosed with cancer, terminal, inoperable and that would not respond to any treatments. He wrote it about a month after processing and digesting what God was trying to teach him.

My dear Christian friends, it has taken me 51 years of living and 33 years of Christian life to learn the real meaning of Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount, “Don’t worry about tomorrow.” I have been a very ambitious man and I have abhorred the mediocre. Always within me has been the desire to excel. And living this way I’ve been impatient, anxious, inattentive and often unkind. My goals have been long distance and compulsive. In consequence I have given less than my best to the person in front of me because I was always thinking way ahead to the plans and goals beyond.

Now all that is different. My anxieties are gone. I have no idea how long I shall live, but then there is today. Each day is meaning more to me than ever before. Each person I meet can have all there is of me for those moments that we are together. I may not get as much done from here on out. But life is far more peaceful. I have at last come to accept these words of Jesus as being just for me. “Do not be anxious about your life. Do not be anxious for tomorrow. For each day has enough trouble of its own.”

The last couple of weeks…actually more like the last few years…have been especially challenging…both emotionally and spiritually. You know those times…when you feel like your faith is dwindling…or failing you…but the waves continue to pound you relentlessly.

But God…always seems to bring along a word of encouragement just when you need it most. Recently for me…it was listening to a message by Charles Stanley about Jesus Christ being the Anchor for our Storms. Jesus Christ is the only person or thing that is unchanging and immovable…he anchors us from within.

People changes, circumstances change, our health will decline, and family and friends will fail us, disappoint us and hurt us. Those whom we love will die. When our anchor is external…and is based on our circumstances…then we will be dragged about when the storms of life assail us. Our ship will be dashed upon the rocks…and may even break up. We may escape only with our life.

Yet…when our anchor is none other than Jesus Christ, the Son of God…we are secure. The storms may wail around us…we may get wet and sustain a few bumps and bruises. But our core and foundation will remain stable and secure.

It is my prayer that you will anchor yourself…to the only one who is our firm foundation…Jesus Christ. May God bless you and sustain in the coming week…and be your firm foundation.

Hebrews 13:5-6, 8

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have,

Oh yeah…it’s coming…once again that most dreaded of days is almost here.

That day…in which single females who want to change that check box on their W-2 from single to married…is a mere 18 days away. That day in which…if I had my druthers…I would lapse into a coma on or about February 10th and awaken…refreshed from my good rest on February 17th. Actually if I was really smart I’d go all the way through to March 1st being that I have a not too eagerly awaited birthday shortly thereafter.

Being that the coma thing probably ain’t gonna happen…how am I going to get through the torture this year? And make no mistake…I would do almost anything to avoid this most wretched day. Yes…that dreaded day is none other than Valentines Day! AHHH!

For those really discerning individuals…you can probably tell…I’m not overly fond of Valentines Day. Not because I’m not romantic…or the scrooge of love…but because my sweetheart has yet to make himself known. (Just between you and me…he’s a little tardy.)

That’s not too say I don’t have my eye on a gentleman or two…but nothing that’s current or active for me to brag about.

So getting through Valentine’s Day is like being on a fast…and having to walk through a banquet room with people eating hearty meals…but you can’t stop and enjoy the meal. It’s not for you…just keep on moving.

Not that I begrudge others the displays of affection…from flowers, to cards filled with loving romantic sentiments or a nice candle light dinner with their sweetheart. I celebrate and am happy that they are most fortunate to have their husband or boyfriend. That’s exactly what I want for me too.

Yet…I have my days in which I feel like Hannah or Leah or the woman begging at Jesus feet…for even the little dogs receive the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.

I can honestly say…I was the poster child for Janis Ian’s song “At Seventeen”. Hearing it even now, evokes much pain.

To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.

But instead of burying my head in the sand…I must grit my teeth and face the day.

Now I’ve tried many a thing to help make it better. From trying to make Valentines Day special for my mom…especially as she continues to decline. Or making it a fun or special day for those with whom I work…by bringing old fashion school box Valentines along with the heart candies. And yes…to some degree it does help…a wee bit. But it’s still hard.

It remains my daily prayer that God will bless me with a husband. I dream of that day…from the proposal to my wedding day. I do so hope that if ever that day comes…I will never forget how it feels to be without a sweetheart on Valentines Day. And in turn help make it a special day for that person who may not hear “I love you”…from that someone special.