I have…
Joy in my sorrow
Comfort in my pain
Faith in my doubt
Light in the darkness
Peace in the storms
Hope in my trials
Strength in my weakness
Forgiveness of my sin
A never forsaking Friend
by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 11, 2009
by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 11, 2009
Shoe boxes filled with cards
Expressing sentiments and well wishes
From friends and family so long ago
I trace your writing with my finger
Hoping to connect once again
The pictures from old
Of family I never knew
All those who loved you
Have long since passed away
I feel it my obligation to remember
When I see your smile
It causes me to wonder what made you to laugh
You had such serious eyes
What hurt, pain and thoughts
Were burdening your soul
You were a real live person
Who laughed and cried
Who loved and hated
A daughter, sister, wife, mother and someone’s best friend
A son, brother, husband, father and someone’s closest pal
By God’s providence
We are related though we may have never met
I wish I could reach across time
Tell you that I treasure the memory of you
It is with care hold your words and pictures from so long ago
As I hold these treasures from the past
I feel such profound sadness…I want to weep
Through my tears I wonder what will become of my life
What will I do that really matters
Who will remember me
Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 3, 2009

Condemnation reporting for duty
Master, how grand
We’ve been given another day
To try and thwart God’s revealed plan
To try to keep one more human soul
From receiving salvation through Jesus Christ
To beat down and render His believers ineffective
With the baggage of their own sin
Let me tell you about yesterday’s successes
We have those mired in the muck of their own sin
Blinded to the fact that there is no one righteous
Not understanding that Christ died for them anyway
We have one who calls himself Christian
But temptation achieved great success
Causing him to turn away and fall into sin
Because he failed to take every thought captive
Now instead of sharing the Gospel message
He’s preoccupied with covering his own sin
Lest he be called a hypocrite
Justifying why he chose to do that which God declared sinful
With the holidays upon us
Opportunities abound
Christian thinks she will share the Gospel message
With family and friends yet unsaved
But we reminded her that they are unworthy sinners
Undeserving to receive forgiveness and salvation
Through the sacrificial atoning death
Of that Babe born in Bethlehem, lo so many years ago
We will provoke irritation and disgust
In self-righteousness she won’t want to have anything to do with them
Much less walk in love and be quick to forgive
She’ll abandon her plan to share the Gospel with the ones bound for hell
Instead she’ll be quick to condemn and slow to pray
Focused on the sinner and their sin
Oblivious to the real enemy
The hater of every human soul
By Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 1, 2009
May we be mindful that there is only one true enemy. He desires that we be focused on the sin not the sinner, so disgusted and put off that we won’t think them worthy of sharing the Gospel. In doing so we walk in the sin of pride and self righteousness.
When does criticism become sin
When I’d prefer to stand in judgment
Rather than stand in love and pray
When I’d rather shake my finger and say shame on you
Than to look in the mirror and examine myself
See if I had contributed to the fall of another
By Susan Bunts Wachtel
December 29, 2008

Am I willing to live a life
That will glorify God
To accept a delay
Or even “no” to a lifelong dream
Am I prepared to endure the pain
When answers and relief are not forthcoming
Am I willing to trust God
When my life doesn’t make sense
Am I willing to praise His Name
When my circumstances are bleak
Am I willing to persevere in prayer
When God remains silent
Am I willing to cling to Him
When all around me falls away
Am I willing to believe that God is good
When God permits the enemy to attack me
Am I willing to be a blessing to others
When I’m not feeling blessed by God
Am I willing to walk by faith
When sight walking would cause me to doubt God
Am I willing to recognize God’s hand upon me
Not attribute success to my own human efforts
Am I willing to wait upon the Lord
Not proceed according to my will and plans
Am I willing to remember that He is more than able
Not manipulate circumstances to have my way
Am I willing to forgive
The one intentionally hurt me
Am I willing to pray for salvation and forgiveness
Not just for the nice unsaved person…but for my enemy too
Am I willing to remember there is only one true enemy
The one who seeks to kill, steal and destroy
Am I willing to see with the eyes of love
Hope and believe all things rather than believe a bad report
By Susan Bunts Wachtel
December 29, 2008

No wisdom
No strength
No moral foundation
No truth
No meaning
No reason for right and wrong
No light
No joy
No future worth living for
No defender
No deliverer
Nothing worth dying for
No comfort
No rest
No future secured
No salvation through Christ Jesus
No Holy Spirit dwelling within
No Abba Father to call your own
By Susan Bunts Wachtel
December 30, 2008
Dedicated to the one who reminds me daily of what it’s like to live without Christ and to have no hope or firm foundation. Dear one…I pray for your salvation. That you will one day have the hope of heaven…Jesus Christ
If I would have known last Christmas was to be your last
What would I have done different
Would I have spent the whole day by your side
Would I have hugged you a little tighter
Would I have held your hands
As we watched the movies of old
Truly believed in my heart
That it is a wonderful life…in spite of all the messes
Would I have gone to the ends of the earth
Found just the right present to bring you a smile
Would I have shared the good news of Christmas
Ensured that you received God’s gift of the Savior
Susan Bunts Wachtel
December 17, 2008
Dedicated to Gayle Merriam Johnson Bunts Lorenat…my mother who died on April 29, 2008.
When I downloaded pictures I had taken this last Sunday…I found a number of shots that were not so hot. Especially this one of the cross on the hill at Kindred Community Church. I have so many great shots…but in this picture I can barely see the cross. Instead I’m focusing on the dried wiper marks on the windshield that make everything blurry and hard to see.
At first I was going to delete the picture and dismiss it as just a bad shot. But then I realized it kind of signified what I’ve been feeling in my relationship with God lately.
While my theology is sound…and biblically based…and I know that God will never leave me, nor forsake me…emotionally I haven’t felt a connection with God in the last few weeks. I feel emotionally disconnected.
I’m sure that the busyness of a recent move, unpacking our new home, cleaning and store things from our old place, working too much overtime, having very few minutes a day to rest is contributing to the equation.
I find myself asking God if there is any un-confessed sin in my life that is blocking that feeling of relationship. If there is sin…that He would reveal it to me so that I can take care of business quickly and restore that relationship.
Last night the feeling of disconnect was especially strong. I found myself desperate be connected to God. To have the sense of His presence in my day to day life. I felt like God was absent. I picked up the word of God and found my mind was so busy and wandering through the events of the day and recent weeks that I couldn’t focus.
If I could have snapped my fingers or done something immediate in the moment to feel God’s presence…I would have done it. I felt quite desperate for Him. Almost a physical ache. Those feelings were a reminder of what I had experienced before. After some desperate times…I came to the conclusion that I can get through any circumstance as long as I have Jesus Christ. While I may have to endure unpleasant circumstances or difficult times…it doesn’t compare to living a life without God. To not have relationship with my God…my Savior Jesus Christ…is unbearable. It’s like trying to live without oxygen.
One of the ways I connect with God…and work through issues is to write. It’s there that God ministers to me and counsels me. He helps me to examine what I’m feeling or what I’ve seen through the truth of the Bible.
Because of the exceptionally busy times…I’ve not been able to write. I’ve had no time to be still and abide in God. Instead I’ve been dealing with the demands of life at the expense what’s essential. So tonight…while I’ll pay the price with tomorrow for too little rest…I’m thankful to have slipped away to spend a few minutes with God.
Thankfully during this busy time…I’ve been able to go to church, Bible study and be in prayer. But all that doesn’t substitute for some alone time and connection with God on a very personal level.
It’s kind of like a wife who sees her husband across the way at a friend’s party. She sees him from afar and even says, “Hi”. But if she doesn’t spend any alone time with him…away and apart from others…I can guarantee you…the relationship would suffer.
God says in His word that He will never leave us, nor forsake us. I guess I haven’t been showing up to meet with Him personally.
Thank you Lord for being there…and meeting with me once again. May I be a Mary and not a Martha. May I put that which is essential…Jesus Christ…before everyone and everything else.
By golly…I found me a real live leprechaun. Now who would have thought that you’d find him hiding in plain sight? But as I was leaving church on Sunday…I stumbled upon him.
Try as he might to disguise himself as an ordinary man…by singing in the choir and mixing and mingling with everyday folks…I could just tell.
Now I’ll grant you that he’s a wee bit bigger than what I would have figured a leprechaun to be. But hey…I thought the whole leprechaun thing was a myth. So…how’s a girl to know?
Now I’ve got to say…if all
leprechauns can sing like the one I captured on camera…we’d have some great music.
When I confronted him on his leprechaun status…he tried to pass it off as coincidence. But you can’t fool me. I know a leprechaun when I see him. He calls himself Chance…but trust me this was no happenstance.
Dearest Janet…what a treasure you are
A precious jewel in the in the crown of our Savior
Walking in the love of Christ
You show a kind and a gentle spirit to all
Through the strength of our Lord
You are able to bear and endure all things
By trusting in the power and providence of God
You have a hope that endures
Following the example of Jesus
You walk in humility and obedience to the Father
With the knowledge of God’s word
You rejoice in the truth
Through the work of the Holy Spirit within
You have a desire for holiness and purity
Believing with certainty in God’s promises
You eagerly desire the Lord’s return
On this your birthday
We celebrate the gift that you are
We are most thankful for you
Our dear precious sister in Christ
By Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 30, 2008
Dedicated to Janet Corsi
Our friend and precious sister in Christ.
Happy Birthday to one whom Jesus shines through so brightly.
Am I more repulsed by the idea of the animal sacrifice in the Old Testament than I am sickened by my own sin which necessitated the shedding of blood to cover my sin?
If I knew the true cost of my sin…would I still choose to go my own way and sin against God and man?
Do I recognize the cost of sin…but choose to turn away and pretend like I don’t see?
Do I esteem the opinions of others over what God says in His word?
Do I care more about my now…than eternity?
Am I living for today…with precious little thought of how it will effect my eternal future?
Do I have a low estimation of God and His absolute holiness and righteousness?
Do I over estimate my own goodness?
Do I question God’s presence in my circumstances?
Will I turn to God in the midst of my suffering?
Will I allow Him to draw me near and comfort me even when I don’t understand why He has permitted my suffering?
If I recognized that I continuously dwell in the presence of holy, righteous, omnipotent God…how would it change me? How would affect what I do and say…my thoughts and emotions?
If I recognized the absolute authority of God…would I be quick to obey and submit myself to His plan?
If I was truly motivated and moved by love for my Savior how would that change what I do?
What if love was my motive…not what I would gain in the here and now…or in eternity?
What if I loved Jesus more…would I want to be more like Him? Would I want to please the one I loved most?
If I were to think of dying today…is there anything that I wouldn’t want to have exposed…laid bare?
If I really believed that eternity was forever…would I share the Gospel message more? Would I feel desperate for my loved ones to not enter eternity without Christ?
Would I worry less about offending the relative who has gone down the wrong path and chosen to believe in nonsense or a different Jesus?
If I knew that my family or friends will spend eternity in hell…asking why I never shared the truth that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior…would I share the truth of the Gospel? Would I tell them that no one comes unto the Father except through Him?
Like the joy of finding new books and authors that I connect with…so too is the pleasure that I feel when I find new blogs and writers with whom I connect. There is something in me that resonates with what they write and how share their faith, hurt, pain and happiness. I truly appreciate the writer who is open and transparent…shares from their heart. One who is humble and doesn’t pretend to have all the answers. Instead they are on a journey…and seeking a closer relationship with the Lord and know that they are dependent upon Him for strength and His mercy and grace.
Two new bloggers that I’ve discovered recently are Meridith from The Road Less Traveled: A Journey Through Infertility and Kelly Campbell at Dwelling in His Presence.
When you have some time…want to be encouraged in your faith…and know that there other Christians who are on the journey…check out these two women’s blogs. You will be blessed and ministered to.
I don’t think that you can live in a place for so many years and not feel anything when you face the prospect of moving.
I’m feeling a multitude of emotions…exhaustion being primary. While there is a part of me that feels a little sad…more than anything I feel like the grace of the Lord has left this place…and it’s time to move on.
This afternoon the movers will be coming. After having lived here in Anaheim at an apartment on Jackson…I will be moving to a new place. This time…it won’t be just me, but my husband Chris and me will be moving. We will be taking up residence at an interim home just a few miles away.
Following our marriage, we quickly discovered that a one bedroom apartment is just a little too small for two people, two kitties and two birdies. Despite a lease that lasts until December…we decided it was time to move. Time to move to give us some additional space and to move into “our place”. Not try to live in a home that was Susan’s apartment or Chris’ condo…but our place.
For months now there has been nothing but issue after issue going on the apartment complex I live in. Starting back in April…it started with a notice that everything…EVERYTHING…had to be off the patios because they would be steam cleaning them. Thus…for a time I had plants and lots of patio stuff inside my apartment. It was just to be for a few days initially….but that few days grew into a couple of weeks…when the steam cleaning was pushed back. In the interim…I got rid of a lot of plants and patio decorations. They just didn’t look as good inside as out on the patio.
The pièce de résistance was the notice that appeared on my door…a couple of months before Chris and I were to wed. It notified me that they were doing major remodel on the apartment in the bathroom and kitchen. As it just so happens it took place the week following our marriage. Now that doesn’t sound too bad. But when we were using every bit of time to plan and execute a wedding in four months…the last thing we needed on top of our wedding as to have to empty the bathroom and kitchen completely. So in the weeks before we married…and even on the night before the big day…we were packing and throwing away things. Chris being the trooper that he is…didn’t protest at helping pack up a place he didn’t yet live. Instead…he helped box things up and made many a trip to the trash cans.
After Chris moved in…the quirks and problems with the apartment that I had just gotten used to…really, really bugged him. Like the bathroom door that wouldn’t close completely and the blinds that were broken and necessitate closing them by hand instead of pulling the levers. Oh…there was much more than that…but after living here for 10 years…well I guess I kind of got used to it all and it ceased to bug me. I just found a way to work around it.
For Chris one of the biggest irritations is the lack of parking. Sometimes he gets a spot close by…other times it’s down the street and by a sprinkler.
So…it was only a few weeks after we were married and back at home in the apartment that we decided…it was time to move. The search began for an interim place until we can purchase a home together. A tough prospect in light of today’s economy.
While it would have been nice to know God’s specific will regarding this change…it was with prayer that we began our search. The place we found…was by happenstance. It wasn’t one we had looked up on line. In spite of high rents at each place we went to…the rent was reasonable on the new place. We both liked it immediately…and felt comfortable there.
Each place has its challenges…even the new one. Like parking being the main issue. Despite promises that there would soon be many new open spaces in the coming weeks…that hasn’t happened yet. It looks like no matter what one of us will be parking some distance away. Perhaps God will use that to motivate us to keep moving in our search for the home when He will provide in the not too distant future.
As I’ve been taking my morning walks…I’ve been reflecting on all the changes in my life in the last 10 years…and thinking on what I will miss the most. Honestly…I think I will miss my morning walks in the surrounding neighborhood. I’ve come to know some of the people because I’ve seen them for so many years. I will miss my UPS driver who has delivered many a package…and he is so considerate that we’ve struck up a deal that since I’m usually at work when he delivers packages…he’ll just take them to the office and I can pick them up there. The other night…he delivered a package later in the evening…and even noticed that my name had changed. I told him I had just gotten married. If I had been thinking quicker…I would have given him one of the CD’s from our wedding. Oh well!
With so many problems that we’ve had here at this apartment since going back to April…I am so ready to leave this place. But I do feel a little something sad at leaving. My life has changed so very much, never more so than this year.
Just this year alone…I started dating Chris in February, my 16 year old kitty Nathan died, my mom was sick and died after 6 years of Alzheimer’s and I got engaged and married. It’s been an eventful year. While I wouldn’t change the things…I think I feel a bit melancholy at all that’s gone on in the last 10 years.
In some respects…I feel like the glory of the Lord has departed this place…and it’s time to move on. You’d think I’d miss a lot more things after living here for 10 years. But I don’t…at least not right now. It’s been a mix of both good and bad things. It’s been both eventful and life changing. Many people…family and friends have left my life in the intervening years.
The most important thing in the last ten years has been the presence of God in my life. My awareness, dependence and love for God has grown. While the prospect of a couple of moves is daunting…I know I don’t want to be outside of God’s will. I don’t want to try and remain in a place where God’s grace has left. Instead I want to follow closely after His lead…hand in hand…step by step with my husband Chris.
Your prayers for our move would be greatly appreciated. Both this move today…and one in the not too distant future as we look for a home. We are prayerful that this move to a new home for the interim will be just right for our new lives together.
There is a different kind of fire
Not visible to the human eye
Yet it causes incalculable damage
Like a wildfire
Consuming everything in its path
So too the tongue…causes widespread destruction
Be it the match of gossip
Or the flame of criticism
Its devastation leaves victims wounded and hurt
It may be a reputation that lies in the rubble
Of lies and deceit
Suffocating its victim like a poisonous gas
It may be talk about those in authority
Causing dissension…leaving the foundation weak and exposed
Unable to withstand the heat
There is one fire prevention
Proven and true
That is to bring our tongue under the obedience of Christ
He alone can slay the arsonist
Whose weapon of choice is the tongue
The intended victim…a vulnerable human soul
Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 18, 2008
It seems no one is immune from the human condition of gossip and a critical spirit. Be it an unbeliever…who doesn’t know or care about what God says in His word. Or a new believer who is immature and still weak and vulnerable in this area of sin. It can even be seen in believers of many years. Those who have extensive knowledge of the word of God. They have a head knowledge that hasn’t yet worked its way down to change their heart.
How easy it is to choose to gossip…or speak our mind and share a critical negative spirit. It’s much harder to go to the person and share our concern. To get on our knees and pray instead of sharing that delectable bit of truth that no one else knows about. To choose insignificance rather than raise myself up by stepping on the reputation of another. To believe all things, hope all things…and dwell on that which is good, lovely, pure and of a good report.
There is only one winner in the game. His name is Satan. Gossip and a critical spirit bring reproach upon the body of Christ. It tears down everyone…from the person who speaks out to the one who is the topic of conversation.
I think that when we get to heaven…there will be tears shed. Not only will we cry when we see the hurt and devastation that our words brought to other’s lives. But we will weep when we know the eternal cost. Those who chose to turn their back and reject Christ because of the ugliness they saw in Christians. It’s not something that we can change after the fact or make better. When those words escape our lips…the match has been lit.
It only takes one time…when you’ve been on the receiving end of gossip to help you understand how hurtful it is. To know that others are speaking ill of you…believing half truths and outright lies. Once you’ve been on the receiving end…you don’t want to be a contributor or participant.
How will we feel when we stand before Jesus…and have to give an account for every idle word? He’ll know the intentions of our heart. All will be exposed.
Isn’t it better that right now…today…that we choose to listen to the reining in of the Holy Spirit. To pay attention when He tugs at our conscious. It’s it better that our words be few. To utter that which builds up and encourages…or speak the truth of God’s word in humility and love.
“They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love.”
Who will know you are a Christian by your love?
Our God is a consuming fire
None can stand before Him
Save One
Christ Jesus our Lord
All our works
Will one day be revealed
Only salvation found in the cross of Christ
Will remain secure and unscathed
Works righteousness
Will be judged in the refining fire
All our own works
Will be scorched…burned…unrecognizable
Only Christ
His work on the cross
Will remain untouched
His work alone will endure
Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 17, 2008
Thank you Jesus…for our secure salvation found only in you!
Picture from Jim Salinger…thank you!
By the grace of God
Our church still stands
From the fire and winds
Sparks and embers flew wild
The peril was great
The dangers many
He gave courage to men
Emboldened them to take a stand
The fire burned close
As it neared our beloved cross
Fire burned hot
Ash rained down
Prayers of the faithful were raised
Pleading for God’s mercy and grace
Homes nearby went up in flames
By God’s grace…lives were spared
As ash and cinders fell
Flames dared to touch the sign
But God used men
Everyday heroes to accomplish His will
By the grace of God
Our church still stands
May we never take for granted
That this building will be here one more day
May we thank God for the privilege to worship Him here
The body of Christ united…at Kindred
By the grace of God
Our church still stands
Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 15, 2008
How easy it is to be complacent…take for granted that our church will always be here for us to assemble and worship our Lord and Savior.
But as the ash rained down…and smoke filled the sky when we looked toward the east our hearts were burdened to pray for God’s mercy and grace in these circumstances.
Thank you Lord…for answering our prayers…and protecting the building called Kindred Community Church. We are most grateful. Thank you for sending brave men…ordinary citizens…to stand in the gap. We thank you for the firefights who willingly put their lives on the lines. We pray for those who have lost their homes in the fires. We pray for relief for all effected by the fires.
The pictures above are of our beloved cross…the sight of which I love so very much. They were taken just last Sunday…on a cloud filled rainy day. When I see it from a distance…it so reminds me of God’s love and His power in my life and circumstances. When I see it…my stress level starts to melt away.
Who would have thought that just a week later…our church building would lie in the path of wildfires. Well our God knew that…nothing takes Him by surprise. Today…He protected our church home. While tomorrow…we will not meet as a church body…you can be sure that the members of Kindred will be one in giving thanks to our God for His mercy and grace bestowed upon our church.
Just a few miles away…in the middle of moving to a new apartment, my husband Chris and I looked up into the sky as the smoke clouds increased and the sun turned red.
We were amazed at God’s hand upon us as we heard the news that apartments we had considered moving to just a couple weeks earlier…had just gone up in flames. 50 apartment homes were lost. By the grace of God…so far no lives have been lost.
Below are the pictures taken with my cell phone. The ash was poured down…and breathing was difficult…and we were several miles from the fire. I can’t even imagine how horrible it would be for those much closer and in the path of the flames.
Will you shed a tear tonight
When news of my untimely death
Reaches your ear
Will you thank God
For His mercy that called me home
And brought an end to my earthly suffering
Will you say, “I forgive”
For my life less than perfect
That may have caused my dearest friend pain
Will you stop rejecting my God and Savior
For the sins of His follower
Embrace Christ…and choose to believe Him
Will you rejoice tonight
That there is forgiveness
For all those who call upon Jesus to be saved
Will you celebrate
That tonight I stand before my Lord
Clothed in the righteousness of Christ
Will you join with me
Loudly proclaim that in heaven and on earth
That salvation is found in no other name
Will you praise God for His mercy
Flowing abundant and free
Available to this one so undeserving
Will you trust Him for His grace
Like manna from heaven
Enough given for each day
Will you ask Him
For His peace
To fill your heart and mind in Christ Jesus
Will you depend upon Him
For His Strength to uphold and sustain you
Through even the unimaginable
Will you receive
The forgiveness I uttered
When you turned your back on me
Will you realize
That all we had between us and against us
Amount to nothing in light of eternity
Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 13, 3008
May I have the wisdom to know that all those differences and grievances between us this side of heaven…mean nothing in eternity. That if I choose to hold on to the hurts…in my pride reject the one who hurt me…that I will live to regret it. Maybe not now…but for sure in eternity. May I realize that unforgiveness and bitterness only serve to imprison me. May I rejoice when God blesses and shows His mercy and grace to one that I once considered my enemy. May I have the humility and grace to lift even my enemy in prayer for God’s blessings upon their life. Thank you God…for the important reminder of living this life in light of eternity.
Those who cry for tolerance and equal rights
Seek to silence the conservative voice
Those who fight for the right of a murderer to live
Seek to make abortion abundant and free
Those who proclaim to value all life from the fruit fly to the polar bear
Feel free to extinguish nascent human life through partial birth abortion
Those who teach the youth about global warming and how to use condom
Fail to educate our children how to read and write
Those who made nature their god
Buy indulgences to pardon their carbon sins
Susan Bunts
November 12, 2008