Mixed Feelings

It was with mixed feelings that I returned to work following my six week leave to heal from back surgery. 

I would have never guessed how much I would enjoy being off for so long.  I thought I would be bored, especially since I was restricted in what I could do.  No lifting, bending or twisting.  Do you have any idea how many activities involve one or all of those actions?  Simple things, everyday things that you don’t give a second thought to unless you can’t do them.  I wasn’t able to drive for four weeks and was at home most of the day. 

I found the time passed quickly and I enjoyed each day.  I was able to go for a couple of walks each day and over time increased my distance.  When I got home from my morning walk, I spent time in the backyard praying.  I was able to work on a Bible study and read.  The six weeks went by so quickly, I could hardly believe that it was time to return to work.

The first five weeks of my leave were the most peaceful time of my life.  I got a picture of what it’s like to be stress free.  Each day I looked forward to Chris coming home from work.  Sometimes we went for a walk, sometimes we watched a movie or read.  Nothing big or monumental, but it was time we enjoyed each other without the demands, stress and pressures of life intruding in on our relationship.  My last week was busy with various appointments so that I could ensure that everything was handled before I returned to work. 

It was with tears that I returned to work.  Both my husband Chris and I were sad that this time of peace and enjoying each other, without pressing demands from the outside world, had ended. 

This is not to say that I’m not grateful to have a good job with a good company.  How could I not be, especially these days when so many people are out of work for extended periods of time?  I am grateful, yet at the same time, I long to be home. 

My first day back at work, I felt cushioned by God’s grace.  After that, it was stepping back in the stream of things, a fast flowing stream.  By God’s grace and with full dependence up Him, I am getting back into the swing of things. 

I am so grateful to be out of pain and for the peaceful days that I was able to spend recovering from surgery.  I’m grateful for the loving care and support of my husband Chris.  I’m grateful for God’s presence in my life, be it at home while praying in my back yard, or when I’m at work or in rush hour traffic, or when I come home tired at the end of the day…He is always with me.  Thank You Lord.  Of all the memories of my time off, the time I spent with You in prayer and in Your Word mean the most to me Lord.  A taste of things to come.

Surgery, Healing and a Work of God



And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ – Matthew 25:40

Yesterday marked two weeks since I had my back surgery.  Through this whole experience God’s hand and His plan and timing have been evident, for both me and my husband Chris.

God took me from being fearful of surgery to recognizing that this might be the avenue that He would use to bring relief from non-stop sciatic pain.  For eight months I was in pain, almost every day, throughout the day.  There were times when medicine brought some measure of relief.  I even had three steroid injections into my spin to see if that would help bring relief.  The second shot reduced the pain level for about three weeks, but other than that, it was clear that the injections were not the treatment that would stop this pain. 

In January, I had an MRI that showed severe narrowing of the spin at the L4/L5 level, with bone spurs and the disk intruding in the area where the nerves run down.  Thus I had a very unhappy sciatic nerve that just wanted his own space without somebody pushing him up against the spin.  That’s not too much to for a nerve to ask now is it? 

In February I met with a surgeon who was well accomplished, but left me with little confidence that he could help my situation.  Thus I continued down the injection path with little relief.

Upon my return to the pain management doctor, she recommended that I get a second opinion and gave me a couple of names.  Thankfully, I was able to get an appointment in pretty short order.  My husband Chris accompanied me to the doctor’s appointment.  From the beginning of our meeting, I felt a confidence that this doctor would be the one I could trust to perform my back surgery.  She displayed a clear understanding of what was going on with my back, recognized that traditional treatments weren’t working and that surgery was a reasonable option.  Chris felt the same way and surgery was scheduled for June 30th.

A few weeks before my surgery, I received a TENS machine which the pain doctor had ordered.  I was using it in the evening and found it brought some pain relief to my back and even lessened the pain in my leg.  I was very grateful because the last two weeks before my surgery I couldn’t take anything stronger than Tylenol. 

In the days leading up to my surgery, God was at work and answering prayers.  My pain level was very low, which allowed me to concentrate at both work and home so I could accomplish what I needed to before surgery. 

The night before surgery, I didn’t have any pain in my back or leg.  It was very odd.  Almost to the point that I wondered if I should still have the surgery.  Yet I believe God’s was leading me to proceed with surgery. 

Chris and I had to be at the hospital at 8:30 am.  After checking in, we headed up to the same day surgical area.  We were surprised when we heard someone in the waiting room calling our names.  We stopped and turned to see a precious friend Norm from church who was there to pray with us.  Both Chris and I felt God’s presence and His peace about this surgery and were encouraged by Norm’s prayer.  Norm even presented us with a handmade blanket for us to keep. 

After I entered the room, the nurse went through the normal pre-op checklist.  I kept asking when my husband could come in.  She said he could come in after they hooked up the IV.  Before long, Chris was by my side and we waited for the clock to hit 10:30, the scheduled time of surgery.  While we waited, we prayed for the doctor and the surgical team, not only for my surgery, but the surgeries that would be performed that day at the hospital. 

As I was lying in the hospital bed, I had no pain in my back or leg, despite the fact I hadn’t taken any pain relievers since the prior day.  I believe that it was God’s reminder to me that He was the One who was going bring healing and pain relief.

Finally, the orderly came to take me down to surgery and Chris said goodbye.  Of the two of us, I was going to have it easy because I would be asleep for most of the time.  I was placed in an area that I call “the holding bin”, where people who are going into surgery are placed until the surgeon is ready.  It was a very active place with lots of doctors and nurses coming and going.  Finally, two people from the anesthesia team popped in to see me.  When the anesthesiologist came by I asked him how he slept and if he was feeling good and I told him I had prayed for him.  Before long, Dr. Tina Lin came in to see how I was doing and let me know that surgery would be starting shortly.

The anesthesiology team must have put something in my IV.  As they started rolling me in to the operating room I saw the name of the room on the wall and the doors open.  Three hours later I woke up in the recovery room.

I was struggling to open my eyes because all I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep.  However, a strong nausea woke me up.  I was miserable and the nurses tried to stop the nausea, but it wouldn’t let up and I kept apologizing to the nurses.  Finally, after receiving the fourth medication, I started to feel better.  I kept telling the nurses I wanted to see my husband.  I was in recovery for about an hour and a half when they finally wheeled my bed back to the place I had started the day.  Before long Chris was by my side and he was a sight for sore eyes. 

He told me that after I was taken in to surgery, he had gone to have lunch.  Our friends Mike and Jo came and joined him.  When he got back to the hospital he was in the waiting room.  He checked with the desk several times to see if there was any word yet on how the surgery was going.  They said it was still going on, but assured him that the doctor would come out and speak to him when it was over.  He was notified when I was taken to recovery and the doctor came and gave Chris an update.

Dr. Lin said that the surgery had gone well.  When she got in she found that the nerve had been pressed up against the spin for so long that it bore the impression of the bone.  After removing some of bone and bone spurs she found that the disk was in the cavity much more than what the MRI originally revealed, but she was able to tease it out of the space to make room for the nerve.  About 4:30, Chris was able to come see me.  He was so sweet and caring and I was grateful to have him by my side.  The hospital released me and Chris and I were home some time after 6pm. 

I’ve had learning curve when it comes to navigating everyday things like getting into and out of bed, taking a shower, getting into the car, and picking up items that are too high or too low on the shelf.  Chris has been an angel and wonderful nurse as he helps me do the things I can’t do.  He makes sure that things I will need are at the right height.  He regularly reminds me to be careful and not bend, lift or twist.  Right before surgery I had ordered a “grabber” which helps me to pick up items off the floor or that are out of my reach on a shelf.  It’s been very helpful, especially when Chris is at work.

My recovery is progressing well.  When I first got home, I felt like a horse had kicked my back.  But with each passing day I feel better and the bruising is all gone now. 

My days are quiet.  I get up about 6:30 or 7 am so that Chris can help me get ready for the day.  I take walks in the morning and evening.  With each passing day, I’m able to walk a little bit longer.  I’m walking at a slower than my pre-surgery pace but that’s okay because I have the time.  I’ve had the time to read books.  I love to read but in the past ten years, I’ve been reading considerably less than what I used to.  So I am really enjoying reading again. 

Since I’m on summer break from Bible study, I wanted to stay grounded in God’s word.  Just the other day I started Kay Arthur’s Bible study in Isaiah.  I have the podcasts on my I-Pod and was able to download the notes and worksheets to study along with.  It’s a great study, in-depth and Kay shows you how to understand a passage verse by verse by applying the who, what, when, where and why questions to a passage. 

One of the biggest encouragements has been the support of family, friends and neighbors.  When Chris and I came home on the 30th, our neighbor brought over her homemade chicken enchiladas.  My sister brought over Mexican lasagna.  Some of our friends from church provided meals.  Yesterday a friend came by to take me grocery shopping.  I’ve had few visits from friends, received cards and notes of encouragement, flowers and a gift card to go out to dinner.  Thank you so very much each and every one of you…Rosie, Denise, Mary, Annette, Cindy, Rose, Michelle, Karla, Robyn, Carolyn and Beth & Jim.  Each of you truly has the gift of encouragement and knows how to reach out and help the least of these.  Thank you for your faithful prayers, God has truly answered them and has brought pain relief and healing. 

Thank You God for having Your hand upon me and leading Chris and me through each phase of this process.  Thank You for answering the many prayers of family and friends and for their gift of encouragement.  Thank You for the time to take walks and listen to Your word, to work on a Bible study and pray.  Thank You for giving me back the love of reading which has been absent for far too many years.  Thank You for the time to sit in the back yard and watch our precious birds as they eat, drink and even take a bath in the bird bath.  Thank You for the cooler weather this week!  Help me to stay focused in prayer and study of your word.  Help me to rest, heal and reach out to others during this time off work. 

Gifted Hands

Called
Gifted
Hands used by God
An instrument of His healing

Equipped
Learned
A faithful steward
Of talents and abilities entrusted by Lord

Wisdom
Experience
Hands that bring healing
Skillfully guided by the Great Physician

by Susan Bunts Wachtel
June 4, 2011

This poem is dedicated to Dr. Tina Lin who will be performing my back surgery this morning and to Jesus Christ my Great Physician and Healer. 

Thank you to the many people who have been praying.  The Lord has been so merciful and good in answer your prayers.  I have the peace of God that passes all understanding.

99 Balloons – Every Life is Precious in the Eyes of the Lord

Today I stopped by Joshua’s blog “A Warrior’s Heart” and found this video “99 Balloons“.  Take a few minutes and watch it.  The video is about the life of Baby Elliot will be a reminder that every life is precious in the eyes of the Lord.

Please stop by Joshua’s blog and read his post on prayer.  Joshua is a man after God’s own heart.  He loves the Lord and is filled with love and compassion for people.  He is a passionate prayer warrior and shares the Word of God.

Prayer as a Way of Walking in Love: A Personal Journey

Do you love to pray or do you struggle with prayer?  Do you want to grow closer to the Lord?  Do you want to have a heart like David who was a man after God’s own heart?  Be sure to listen to Francis Chan’s message at this year’s Desiring God Conference for Pastors.  It’s one you may want to download and listen to again. 

Some Thoughts…At the End of the Day

I am so grateful to have friends in my life who are more committed to my holiness than my happiness.  People who are not afraid to speak the truth from the word of God into my life.  They have an unbending standard and they can speak with confidence when their counsel is based on the solid rock of God’s word. 

I’m grateful for friends who know the King of kings and Lord of lords and are able come to the throne of grace in prayer.  Rather than someone telling me, “I’ll be thinking about you”, or “Best of luck to you”, I know that they will go to God in prayer and that He hears our prayers.

Woodshed Time 

After a sleepless night filled with physical pain, fear and worry about a family member I finally got out of bed and went about my morning routine.  This morning I let my thoughts wander down the path of worry, and started feeling as though I was responsible for another person’s life and choices.  Instead of praying, I opted to worry.  
In the middle of those troublesome thoughts, I felt as though God tapped me on my shoulder and said, “Susan, I am still on My throne.  Do you realize that all this time you spent worrying you could have been praying?  The Trinity doesn’t meet in an emergency session.  I know all things and nothing escapes My attention.”


It was after I listened to the Lord and reminded myself who God is and what He can do that my stress and worry faded away.  I felt a calm and peace come over me.  I was able to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  I remembered that I need to be about my Father’s business…praying.  God is faithful and true and He is working out His perfect plan, not only in my life, but in the life of family and friends.  

When I worry I’m acting as if there is no God.  It’s good to be taken to the woodshed now and again.  It reminds me Whose I am.  But surely it would be better if I chose instead to believe God…to walk by faith, not by sight.

Hope and a Prayer

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

I have a dear friend who has committed to praying for my husband and me and our marriage.  I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful that is.  She and her husband love the Lord and seek His face and desire to do His will.  She continually points me back to God’s word and what scripture says and the absolute truth contained therein.  Prayer is a powerful and wonderful gift.

Recently she sent me an email that she was going to be praying Romans 15:13 for both of us.  When I read the verse, I found that it was in line with what I’ve been going through in the last couple of weeks and what God has been impressing upon me through my circumstances. 

Do you ever find that the Lord continues to bring you back to a topic over and over again?  During the last couple of weeks the focus has been on hope in sermons, Bible study, scripture and radio programs.

I love the Lord Jesus Christ and my Father in heaven.  I am so grateful to have the Holy Spirit in me and growing and sanctifying me.  I love God’s word…and I have a hope that cannot be squelched or quenched.

Yet, the last couple of weeks I’ve felt overwhelmed.  The demands and busyness have been intense.  Dealing with people and things that are out of my control left me feeling frustrated, angry, and very low.  I had my eyes on my circumstances and was focused on my feelings instead of God.

In the mornings I pray before starting my day and that includes prayer for the people with whom I interact with each day.  I pray for salvation for those who are unsaved.  If they are going through difficult times, I pray for whatever they are going through.

Even though I had started my day in prayer, instead of walking in the victory I have in Christ Jesus I felt swamped and like my boat was going under.  The very people for whom I prayed were now the focus of my frustration and anger.  I just wanted to quit and escape those circumstances.  Yet God calls me to endure through His power, wisdom and might.

Alright…so I may be a little slow on the uptake.  After a week of messages on hope you would think I would get it.  But it wasn’t until my friend emailed me about the verse she was praying for us this week, that I realized that I felt rather hopeless.  Hopeless because I was trying to suck it up, gut it out and get through these challenging circumstances on my strength.  God never gives us burdens to bear alone.  Instead He desires that we run to the throne of grace and seek His help in order to run the race with endurance.

God helped me to see that I can’t even do the everyday things on my own.  I need to come to Him in the morning seeking His strength and wisdom to handle the people and things that I will encounter.  Throughout the day, come to Him in prayer for each problem and challenge I’m facing.  I need to pray for God to help me love those who frustrate me.  That’s not something I can do on my own…I need to stay focused on God continually.

I believe there was a spiritual battle taking place during the last couple of weeks.  One that left me feeling defeated when I attempted to face it alone.  It was only after I reached out to some friends and asked for their prayer that I was able to keep my eyes on the Lord and come to Him in prayer throughout the day.  The challenges kept coming…but now I was facing them though the power and strength of the Lord. 

The enemy, the hater of our souls, seeks to have us walk alone.  He knows the power of prayer and wants to keep us from praying for those who are unsaved.  What better way to keep me from praying than to keep me frustrated, angry and focused on my circumstances rather than being dependent upon God. 

I’ve been meditating on Romans 15:13 this week and thinking about hope.  What is hope?  For a Christian it’s a confident expectation based on the truth and knowledge of who God is and a remembrance of what He’s done in the past.  Based on that knowledge I can know with certainty that He will act in the present and that my future is secure in Christ Jesus.  Nothing can overwhelm Omnipotence who reigns on high. 

When I view my circumstances in the light of God…I have a hope that cannot be shaken or moved. 

Thinking Prayerfully

The other day after hearing about a prayer request, I started thinking about what a privilege it is to be able to pray for people.  To be able to bring them before the throne of grace and see God and His faithfulness do much more than we can ask or imagine.

Then I started thinking about my Dad who died 41 years ago when I was 10 years old.  Unless he accepted Christ in the hospital on his deathbed, my Dad never knew Christ and is spending eternity in hell.  We weren’t plugged into a local church and weren’t surrounded by Christian family and friends.  We weren’t believers.

Was there anybody there at the hospital that prayed for my Dad?  Was there any body that shared the truth of the Gospel message with this dying man?  Will I see him in heaven?

I consider it a privilege to be in prayer for people…family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, government officials and even fellow drivers on the road.  I don’t know who is in their life and praying for them…but where our paths intersect…may the Lord enable me to be faithful in prayer.

Imperfect People

Though it’s unrealistic, as a Christian sometimes I expect other believers to be a whole lot better than what they are.  At the same time…I know that we will never be perfect this side of heaven.
 
When I encounter that person who is a “work in progress” and see something that is unlovely and less than pure…it’s so easy to focus on that.
 
But God’s is challenging me that when I see that imperfection…when I encounter that sin in other believers instead of harping on what’s wrong with them I should bring them before the throne of grace in prayer.  I can pray with confidence when I pray for that person what God has written in His word is His will for them. 
 
Instead of letting something make me embittered or angry…I need to turn it around and pray.  Perhaps that sin that I see in myself and others should be a flag to be in prayer.

If I Really Believed

If I really believed that God hears my prayers would that change how I prayed?  If I really believed that God cares and that He answers prayers…how would I pray?  If I was confident that God is who the Bible says He is and can do what He says He can do…what would I pray for? 
 
The first thing that comes to mind is that I would pray more often.
 
I would pray about everything.
 
I would pray with boldness and confidence. 
 
I would be more faithful in prayer for family, friend, strangers and even my enemies. 
 
I would pray with a sense of peace and assurance that my heavenly Father hears me.
 
I would pray more personally. 
 
I could hardly wait to pray…to run to the throne of my Abba Father who cares for me.
 
I would pray with trust and know that no matter what, God is doing a good work in the situation and my character.
 
I would be certain that His “No” is because he is working out a greater good.
 
My prayers would have an eternal vision…not only looking for answers this side of heaven. 
 
I would care less about what people thought about me and more about what my heavenly Father has to say.
 
I would desire to have more time with my Abba Father.
 
I would be excited to share with others the wonderful news about the Gospel message so that they too can be saved and have their sin debt paid in full by Jesus Christ.
 
I wouldn’t give a hoot or holler what unbeliever or doubters had to day…because I would believe God.
 
When attacked by the enemy…I would run to the throne of grace.
 
I would desire to be sanctified, set apart so that nothing would interfere with my prayer life and relationship with God.
 
I would pray more fervently. 
 
Salvation, salvation, salvation would be my primary prayer because I know that God desires that no one would perish but all would come to repentance…and there is nothing more important in life.
 
I would have the joy of the Lord even during the hard times.
 
I wouldn’t try to get through life and difficult circumstances on my own strength.

May I Pray

May I pray with boldness for that which seems impossible
May I pray knowing that You are able
 
May I pray and dare to take the risk that You’ll say yes
May I pray and not worry about Your reputation if You say no

May I pray with courage about the truth that sets us free
May I pray with compassion for those who are lost and in darkness

May I pray with eyes focused on You, not my circumstances
May I pray in confidence as I speak forth Your word

May I pray for that which is more than I can ask or imagine
May I pray with assurance that You hear me in the heavenly places


Susan Bunts Wachtel
June 24, 2010

Dedicated to Karla…a woman with a heart for the Lord. 

Cry Out to God

In your deepest valley
During your darkest night
When facing the fiercest storm
Cry out to God
 
During your busy day
In the midst trying circumstances
When faced with overwhelming demands
Cry out to God
 
While standing on the mountaintop
When all seems right with the world
When your heart overflows with joy
Cry out to God
 
He comforts us in our deepest sorrow
He meets us in our pressing need
Shares in our heartfelt joy
Cry out to God and let Him meet you there
 

Susan Bunts Wachtel
April 27, 2010

God’s Talking…Am I Listening?

Often this week…I was very aware of God’s presence and felt that He was driving home a few points through real life illustrations.

The week had a rather jolting start, when I witnessed a train accident while driving to work on Tuesday. 

I had to get to work early because of a meeting.  Usually when I leave early, its smooth sailing and I get to work without any significant delays.  Thankfully I left on time…otherwise I’m not sure when I would have arrived.  I was tooling down Tustin Avenue…and just before I got to the train tracks…the guard rails came down.  “Oh phooey…but at least I left early…I should be to work on time anyway.” 

It wasn’t one of the commuter trains that zip by and everyone is on their way.  Instead it was one of the lumbering, long and slow trains.  I used to tap my foot and say words of encouragement for the train to move long.  But soon God showed me the delay could be put to good use by providing me with some additional prayer time.

But Tuesday…that was a different story.  I was a few cars back from the intersection when the train came through.  While I couldn’t see what exactly was hit…I could see debris flying up into the air.  Oh gosh…that’s not good.  It took a while for the train to slow down and come to a stop.  In the mean time a commuter train coming the other way came to a stop.

Knowing that I had to be to work soon…I maneuvered my way to the side, was able to back up and turn around.  As I was figuring out another route to get to work…I could hear the sirens of police, fire engines and paramedics rushing to the other side of the train tracks where an accident had occurred. 

Unfortunately…it wasn’t just some debris that was hit.  From the news reports…I learned that a car tried to race past the intersection before the train got there.  The driver calculated wrong.  Instead his car got stuck under the guard rails. 

The real mystery to me wasn’t that someone would try to beat the train.  What I found amazing is that the driver and passenger didn’t get out of the car.  Instead, they remained in the care and were critically injured when their car was hit. 

I continued to ponder that all week long.  Then I started thinking how often sin is like that.  I make a really stupid or foolish choice, knowing full well that it’s wrong and that there are serious consequences I may encounter.  And yet…sometimes I knowingly and willingly choose to sin and do the wrong thing. 

There are times…I initially make a bad choice and realize it.  I have time to change my mind, turn around or try to mitigate the fallout.  Why is it I may choose to remain stiff necked and head strong, when just a little change can alleviate most of the potential damage? 

Maybe it’s in a relationship…and I say something really stupid and cause hurt feelings.  The right thing to do is apologize.  But do I do it?  Do I repent quickly? 

Well God had another illustration for me on Friday.  Before I left for work…I needed to leave a package on the porch for someone to pick up.  While I was taking my morning walk…I had the distinct impression from God that I should include in the package two CD albums about God and heaven.  As I got back from my walk, I started to go to my car to get the CDs…but couldn’t find my keys.

I knew they had been in my jacket pocket…but now they were nowhere to be found.  Gulp…good golly they must have fallen out somewhere along my path.  I rushed in the house…frantic to find them.  I’m sure Chris thought I’d finally lost my mind as I was searching and muttering.  When I couldn’t find the keys in my purse or in their normal place…I realized I had lost them on my walk.  I raced out the door retracing my steps.  Thankfully, I found them about half a block down. 

I thanked God for helping me find them and walked back to my house.  As I walked home…God reminded me that just like I needed those keys to get in the car to get the CDs, or to unlock my door or to get in the car and drive…so too I needed to use the key of prayer.  It’s one thing to give someone CDs, but if it’s not first covered in prayer…it’s not going anywhere. 

Another reminder from God…that I need to be going forth according to His will and plan and in His power, not my own.  Salvation is His work…encouraging fellow saints is His work.  He may choose to use me as an instrument.  But it’s all His work and not my own. 

Oh may I be on my knees…with a heart fully dependent upon God and surrendered to Him and His work in my life.

Tyranny Eve – Urgent Call to Prayer

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Do you want the
government running your health care?  Do you want our government telling
you what treatment you can and can’t have?  Do you want to foot the bill
for everyone else?  Do you want to be paying for abortions?  Do you
want the government telling you that your aging parent, ill spouse or disabled
child doesn’t qualify for treatment under their plan? 

It’s time to be
praying that God will intervene and stop this bill from passing.  That He
will raise up a few courageous men and women to stand in the gap and say no.
 

 



The Hard Thing

It’s harder to forgive
Than to hold on to a hurt

It’s harder to pray
Than to whine and complain

It’s harder to bring everything by prayer and petition to God
Than to go to a friend and gossip or lament

It’s harder to give thanks in difficult circumstances or in pain
Than it is to grumble and complain

It’s harder to restrain my mouth and just plain shut up
Than it is to freely speak my mind

It’s not just harder
It’s impossible to take back a word spoken in anger

It’s harder to be disciplined and make time to study God’s word
Than it is to waste time on worthless things

It’s harder to make time for family and friends
Than to let my time be driven by pressing but inconsequential things

It’s harder to take every thought captive
Than it is to let my imagination and thoughts go wild

It’s hard to do what is right before God
When I’m feeding my mind and heart with the things of this world

Oh Lord, may I choose to do the hard thing
Not by might, but by Your Spirit

May I remember when I am weak
Then I am strong in Christ

By Susan Bunts Wachtel
December 2, 2009

Thanksgiving….Much Better Than I Deserve

I would be remiss
If I failed to bow my head and give thanks
For the many blessing
From my heavenly Father above

First and foremost
Salvation found in Christ Jesus alone
For His sacrificial atoning death on the cross
So that my sins, which are many, are forgiven in full

For the Holy Spirit
Who dwells within me
For His comfort and conviction
Daily sanctifying and cleansing me

The Bible
The very Word of God
Solid truth in a world filled with lies and deception
A light unto my path in a very dark world

The Father’s plan of redemption
Put in place before the foundations of the earth were laid
My loving Father is looking and waiting, arms open wide
For this prodigal to come to her senses and return home

I am included in the body of Christ
Called to a church named Kindred
Surrounded by those who faithfully serve
Motivated out of love and obedience to Christ the Risen Lord

For a country founded with a purpose
A place where we might be free
A foundation built on principals
Inalienable rights granted by our Creator

Abundant blessings flow
From the Father’s hand
I can truly say
I’m doing much better than I deserve

My husband Chris
The one for whom I prayed many years
He loves the Lord with all his heart
By God’s grace he just happens to love me too

A home we call our own
With much more than I can ask or imagine
A fireplace to sit by on a cool autumn evening
A backyard, my retreat to enjoy God’s creation

Family and friends make each day richer
Filled with grace, mercy and love
They share in the laughter and joy of the moment
Then come alongside to help lift the burden of a heavy load

Work…a means by which God provides
A place to use the skills, talents and abilities
Gainful employment means much more these days
When so many are still seeking a job

This is just a start
Of the many things for which I give thanks
You can truly see
I am blessed far beyond that which I deserve


Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 25, 2009


Burdened

Today I awoke downcast
As though I was grieving
Profoundly sad
For no explainable reason

Then my path crossed
With those who bear a heavy burden
Whose tear stained face
Bears the marks of grief, pain and fear

Those who lost a loved one
A life cut down at such a young age
Family and friends who had no time to grasp the enormity
Before they stood at their loved one’s grave

Or the one who received a bad report
Without warning, in an instant
Life had changed
Each day recognized as a gift, not a guarantee

Then there is the one who suddenly
Finds themselves unemployed
In stiff competition with untold others
Praying that someone will just give them a chance

God did you burden my soul
Give me a small picture of their pain
That I might be compelled
To plead for them before Your throne


Susan Bunts Wachtel
November 16, 2009



Sinners & Saints

Today I found myself
Overwhelmed with sorrow
As I witnessed sin and rebellion
Active and alive in both sinners and saints

I was grieved over the one called Christian
Who powerfully wields their tongue
Only to criticize and condemn
In pride, crushes the reputation of others

I wondered do I pray
For the salvation
Of the one who proclaims belief in Christ
But is walking with one foot in the world

What do I say
To the brother or sister
Engaging in filthy language and course jesting
In whom there’s little difference from an unbeliever

Oh Lord,
May my heart be burdened
For their salvation and Christian walk
May I be faithful in prayer for both sinners and saints

Susan Bunts Wachtel
October 19, 2009

Recently God has burdened my heart to pray for other believers.  I’ve tried to very specific.  That their words, the overflow of the heart, would be good and pleasing to God.  That their words would be used to encourage and build up others in the faith.  That their lips would praise and glorify God.  That they would be humble before God, burdened for the lost and faithful in prayer.  That their Christian walk would be blameless. 

That’s why I experienced profound sadness when I found that those prayers have not been answered yet. 

But tonight I experienced some peace when studying Beth Moore’s “Jesus The One & Only”.  In tonight’s lesson she explained that some believers choose to sit by the word of God, rather than sit under the authority of the word of God. 

That insight helped me to understand…that while what I’m praying for people is in God’s will…it’s not something that He will force upon them.  Instead He desires that we willingly choose to obey Him. 

When I love God and choose to walk in a manner that is good and pleasing to Him that is more desirable than having God force me to be good. 

Though momentarily discouraged…I’m reminded that I need to continue to be faithful in praying for we are engaged in a spiritual battle…and I don’t want my fellow saints to fall prey to the enemy.

The Road Beyond

I’ve been down this road
So many times before
I ought to know it well

Instead of doubt and despair
My mind should be filled
With excitement and prayerful expectation

The road begins
With a prayer
For God’s soon deliverance

Then the wait begins
Sometimes the delay appears to be a no
For God’s timing is oft much different than my own

He takes me to the brink
Where I feel like I cannot endure
Not even one more day

Then God takes me beyond
To the place where I must choose
To doubt or believe God

In the place of beyond
I wait upon the Lord
With faith look for God’s miraculous deliverance

Oh my soul, take courage
For God will never disappoint
When He takes me down the road and beyond

Susan Bunts Wachtel
August 12, 2009