Missing You

No one will ever know it
But memories of you
Fill my mind today

I find myself preoccupied
A little sadder…somewhat somber
Because my heart misses you

This year has been filled with many firsts
Shortly after your death
There was Mother’s Day…the first one without you

Today…we would have celebrated your 87th birthday
But instead…it is filled
With remembrances of you

There is no birthday card to write
To tell you that you are loved
No gift will be selected…to bring a smile to your face

When I was married just a few short weeks ago
I looked out at the congregation
If only I could have seen your face

Family and friends came alongside us
But none could take your place
You should have been there to celebrate the long awaited day

Oh dear one
Will I see you in heaven
Will we have an eternity to celebrate your birth

Susan Bunts
October 23, 2008

November 5th



November 5th, 2008

God…will still be upon His throne


We look for our salvation

In Christ…the victorious One riding upon a white horse


Our deliverance is not in man

Not a man named McCain, nor Obama


But in the One

Who is fully God and fully Man


We look to Him

Who is sovereign in all things


He alone establishes authority

He raises up leaders and brings down kingdoms


Our assurance is not in circumstances

Nor in good fortune or times of comfort and ease


Instead our surety

Is built upon the immovable Rock


Susan Bunts Wachtel

October 12, 2008

Chris & Susan…Becoming One



One of the fun things that my fiancé Chris Wachtel & I did in preparing for our wedding day was to put together a video of our lives. We stand amazed…as we look back and see how God concurrently and providentially worked in our lives to bring us together. We clearly see how He used events in our lives to shape and form us so that we are so perfectly suited for one another. October 4th, 2008 on our wedding day…this video will be shown at our wedding. We want honor and glorify our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is the Author of our love story. We thank our family and friends for their love, support and prayers as we become one. Chris…I am so grateful that my hopes, dreams and prayers will be coming true with you…as we begin our new life as husband and wife on October 4th. May Jesus Christ be the Foundation of our marriage and first place in our lives. After Christ, may we put each other first. We fondly remember our parents who will not be here to share this day with us. We love you and thank you Leo & Ruth Wachtel, Frank Bunts and Gayle & Joseph Lorenat. I love you Christopher Leo Wachtel and can hardly wait to be Mrs. Christopher Wachtel!


Our engagement photo was taken by Sherry Hebestreit. Sherry does wedding photography in the Orange County area. We were very pleased with the work that Sherry has done and look forward to seeing the pictures from our wedding day.




Alleluia

Kindred Community Church Adult Choir singing one of my favorite songs. The choir continues to grow and they sound marvelous.

In this song…I can get lost in worship of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is a small taste of heaven.

Tell Tale Signs




The body of Christ

Suffered another assault today

By one who calls himself Christian





By outward appearances

The signs were all there

Indeed he put on a good show





In church each Sunday

With Bible in hand

He even shared Christ with those not yet saved





A fish symbol strategically placed on his car

A bumper sticker proclaiming

Know Jesus, Know Peace





But closer examination

By the One who looks upon the heart

Revealed a wolf in sheep’s clothing





Sacred vows made to love his wife

As Christ so loved the church

Were set aside and trampled underfoot





His children

Once beloved were now forgotten

In his quest for personal happiness





The Lord whom he proclaimed to love

With all his heart, mind, soul and strength

Was long forgotten as he raised himself in God’s place





Destruction and devastation lay in the wake

From the vehicles of lies and deceit

No concern is demonstrated for those he once claimed to love





Those who once admired the Lord’s blessings to this man

Stand with their mouth gapping

Poised and ready to utter the words hypocrite and liar





The witness for Christ

He so carefully sought to build and protect

Now lies in the heap covered by selfishness and pride





Oh Lord, even now we lift up this one so deceived

Like a lamb led to slaughter

So willingly he followed the father of lies





We pray for his salvation

Forgiveness for his sins

That without Jesus he will have no peace





Like the prodigal son

May he come to his senses

And return to the Father whom he once he loved





By Susan Bunts

September 26, 2008

Dissention…Reporting for Duty



Here I am boss

Reporting for duty

Have I got a good report for you





The assignment you gave

I executed with ease

As I got those tongues wagging





That place which seeks to be a beacon on a hill

Reflecting the Light of the world

Instead grew a little dimmer today





I started with those who are idle

Who have the time to talk

In no time at all…the seed of gossip blossomed





The trick is

When they are talking about others

They don’t have time to read the word of God





When they are negative and brooding

Completely lacking the joy of the Lord

They are not taking every thought captive





When they spend time

Debating about which songs should be sung

They don’t have the time to worship their Lord





When they set aside the diligent study of the Bible

How can they hold it up

To examine themselves in light of God’s word





When the rest on their laurels

Feel comfortable in their accomplishments

They won’t desire a fresh work of God in their life





When they fail to trust and respect

The leaders whom God raised up

A negative critical spirit takes its place





When they attempt to love on their own power

They will be unable to bear all things, nor hope and believe

Their love will never endure on its own





Some I will lure into exhaustion

Through pressing needs, good works and few helping hands

It’s there I will stir up resentment





May they bow their knee to their Lord

But never their will

There they can rest in a false sense of piety





Oh hater of their soul

The fruits of our labor

Are plentiful and abundant





May they never see it

Or recognize the handwriting of our work

It’s there we can turn them against one another





Render ineffective their witness

When they are focused on one another

They won’t remember to take the gospel to the lost and dying world





by Susan Bunts

September 23, 2008

Invisible



I am the nameless, faceless one

You seek to avoid





You see me coming down the street

And look down or walk the other way





Sometimes I mutter to myself

For there is no one else to listen or who cares





When I stand behind you in the checkout line

You hold your breath





It’s been…I don’t know how long

Since I’ve had a warm shower or put on clean clothes







Of course I know I stink

Thankfully after a while I became immune to the smell





Shame should be my name

Would it be better if I had never been born





My family doesn’t even know

If I’m dead or alive





There’s no means to contact me

No phone to pick up or place to drop by





Would they even recognize me

If they passed me on the street





Society thought they did good

In giving me the right to choose





Take my medication

Or be locked up for my own good





Do tell…how can someone not in their right mind

Make a rational decision





Even though you pass me by

With nary a look or a smile sent my way





No matter how hard you try to pretend I’m not…

I am here





By Susan Bunts

September 17, 2008

For a Season


Oh Lord, in these days
The place where we meet
Has been denied me for a season

My soul longs for
Cries out
For our time to connect

You have answered my prayers
Given me my heart’s desire
In ways that are more than I can ask or imagine

Yet that place where we meet
Where my mind processes all that is going on
Has been held at bay

It’s been replaced
By busyness and plans
That will soon come to fruition

But it’s in writing
That I reflect
So clearly see Your presence in my life

It’s when my fingers strike the keyboard
That I work through the emotions
Through the grid of Your Word and the Holy Spirit’s leading

As much as I love my betrothed
Look forward with eager anticipation to that day when we become one
My heart cries out and I long for You, Oh God

May I never say
My name is Ichabod
That the glory of the Lord has departed from my life

May I be mindful
Of Your presence in my life
Your leading, Your guidance, Your tender correction

There are not enough sermons
Nor Bible studies attended
That can take the place of time spend with You

Oh God…carry me through this season
Restore unto me the time and place
And let us meet once again…daily commune

Until then God
Carry me, enable me, strengthen me…bring me through
To that private place where we meet again, one day face to face

Susan Bunts
September 16, 2008

Victory

Tonight, the Lord enabled me

To snatch victory from the jaws of the enemy




When I heard the word…a smile crossed my lips

“Yes Lord…forgive”




The battle began early

I felt pummeled…assaulted on every side




Relentless…unending

Subtle…but it was an effective attack




Who would recognize it

Trace it back…to the enemy




Who would recognize the handwriting

Scripted by the hater of my soul




It felt like a war

The enemy was on every front




It left me wounded and numb

Spent…barely able to lift my head




Then the “piece of resistance”

Words wielded…left me battered and bloody




Oh Lord…just get me through this day

Help me to not respond in kind




Understanding their true nature

Brought no comfort




Knowledge that they are but a puppet of the enemy

Was not a healing balm to my soul




But in the quiet…at the end of the day

I came to the end of my reserves




It was there that the Holy Spirit reminded me

Of my “new nature” in Christ




He’s the One

When He whispered the word, “Forgive”…peace filled my soul




He’s the One who will enable me to return the arena

Enter where the prowling lions seek to devour me




Yet I fear not…for He is the One

Who will shut tight the jaws that would otherwise crush me




Tonight…the Holy Spirit within

Enabled me to forgive




In doing so He snatched victory

From the deadly jaws of Satan




A powerful and effective foe to a created one

But a defeated foe to the Kind of kings and Lord of lords




By Susan Bunts

September 9, 2008

Only Believe




If I had believed those who told me

It’s God’s will that you never marry

Would I have ceased to pray

Never more asked God to grant me the desires of my heart





If I believed that the chapters yet to be written

Would never be different

From that which had gone before

Would my faith have failed me





If I believed the lies of the enemy

Doubted the goodness of God

Would I have presented my requests to Him

Confident that He is able





If I had never asked

God to bring me a godly husband

Would I have ever donned a wedding gown

Or felt your hand in mine





If I had not risked

Being embarrassed

Feeling the failure

Would I have gathered the courage to asked others to pray





If I had not heeded

The still small voice within

Would I have lacked the vision

To only believe





By Susan Bunts

September 3, 2008

Eternal Vision


Do I offer a prayer to God for my future
Seek His will
Then hesitate to follow where He leads?

Do I unburden my heart
Share my fears, hurt and sorrow
Then refuse to accept His comfort?

Do I know the Word of God
Even have it hidden within my heart
But fail to trust God’s goodness in my circumstances?

Do I give the enemy a foothold
Listen to the lies he whispers in my ears
Believe him who seeks steal, kill and destroy?

Or dare I have an eternal vision
Knowing that God’s plan may include pain
And one day He will turn it…to victory and gain?

Do I trust Him
Who takes away
Will one day restore?

Do I look back at the past
Feel the pain of the present
Am I unable to see past this moment?

Do I believe him
Who seeks to destroy my witness
Render it ineffective to an unbelieving world?

Or do I believe God
Know with confidence
God’s glory and goodness through all eternity far outweighs it all?

Will I choose to be earth bound
Focused on the past
The here and now?

Or will I have an eternal vision
Examine everything through the grid of eternity
Trust that everything is in the hands of my trustworthy God?

“Oh dear one,”
Whispers the still small voice within
“Won’t you trust Me in your pain?”

By Susan Bunts
August 30, 2008

The Measuring Rod



Do my words inflict wounds

On a weary burdened soul


Do my demands, my needs

Add to someone’s heavy load


Do I freely offer my opinion

But withhold a helping hand


Does my tongue tear people down

Fail to build them up


Does my speech contain truth

But lack love


Do I proclaim Christ

But fail to possess the love of the Lord


Do I know the truth of the Gospel

But refuse to let it change my heart


Am I quick to judge

But slow to love

Do I disguise pride

As concern


Does my attitude drive people away

Instead of draw them close


If 1 Corinthians 13 were the measuring rod

Would I be proven to be a Christian…by my love


Susan Bunts

August 26, 2008

Ready

Ready to stand
With the belt of truth girded about me

Ready to stand victorious
Obeying the Commander who called me to battle


Ready to stand firm…immovable
Cutting off all entanglements…breaking from this world

Ready to stand with an attitude of truthfulness
Committed…sincere…without hypocrisy

Ready and disciplined
Pursing that which is excellent…not settling for what is good

Ready to endure
Run the race…obtain the prize of our high calling

Ready to bring praise, glory and honor
To my great God and Savior, Christ Jesus my Lord


Susan Bunts
August 20, 2008


For Chris…my love and husband to be. I’m so grateful to have a partner as we endeavor to fight the good fight and seek by the power of God to endure till the end. By His power alone…may we present Jesus our shield covered with arrows from the enemy that missed because of His hand of protection upon us.

The Heart of a Woman



Let me tell you a secret

Just between you and me

Share the heart of a women

And every girl’s dream

No matter if she’s a raving beauty

Or just a plain shy ordinary girl

The desire for a husband’s love

Runs ever so deep

Even those who are mentally challenged

Or those who have been deceived and bought the feminist lie

Have a desire to share their life

Know what it is to feel loved, honored and cherished

All too vividly

I remember the pain

Of a lifetime spent alone

With no end was in sight

Each passing year was harder

The pain was always there and cut like a knife

The rejoicing at the blessings of others,

Was followed by a tears shed in the solitude

It is with gratitude and thanksgiving I prepare,

To walk down the aisle

Veiled in white lace

Join hands with my love and say, “I do”

Even as I rejoice in God’s grace towards me

For love unmerited and undeserved

May I be humble and remember in prayer

The heart of the woman who still dreams of “that day”

By Susan Bunts

August 12, 2008

At no time have I been more aware of the ubiquitous desire of women to be married and be loved by a husband than when a precious friend who has the heart and mind of a child shared her desire to one day marry.





I spent far too many years alone. I had bought…hook, line and sinker…the feminist lies. You know the ones I mean. The line that “a woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle” or that “men and women are basically the same”. Yeah right! Anyone who has spent time with the opposite sex…knows darn good and well…that men and women are very different. It’s not something cultural…however culture may shape the way it’s expressed. But instead it’s inherent…those difference were built in by our Designer.





Those differences are not something good or bad. They simply are. One sex is not superior to the other. One is not good and the other a wretch. Instead God designed us to complement each other and to keep things interesting…and challenging…He made us very different from one another.

One of the most amazing things I’ve been aware of since meeting my fiancé Chris is that the loneliness and the emptiness are gone. The desire to be well known and well loved is being fulfilled…day by day.


That’s not to say…we don’t have our challenges. The differences inherent in our personalities and those between men and women present a challenge to our relationship every day. Add on top of that…the stresses of planning a wedding…and oh baby, baby you’ve got “stress”.


While it’s not always easy it has been wonderful to fall in love, grow in love, to be in love. There is something noticeably different that I can’t quite put my finger on. My sister Denise commented recently that I seem to be more peaceful. I think that’s true…the anxiety and concerns that I will I be alone for the rest of my life are gone. The questioning…am I so unlovable that no body will ever love me…has been answered.

While I know I’m a lot less than perfect…I am most grateful to God for bringing Chris. A man who is mature in his faith. One who sees my flaws but has been able to look past them to see something good that God has given me. He is willing to work through the uncomfortable challenges and differences in us. Working through those times…and coming out on the other side have helped us to become closer.

When my precious childlike friend commented that she desires to one day marry…it was so painful. When I turn and see so many wonderful women around me…women who are smarter or prettier or better than me in so many respects…when I see them in the same predicament that I was for so many years…it hurts. I hurt for them because the pain of unending singleness and lack of romantic love is still very fresh. I know it well and it left many a scar. Part of me is tempted to cry out “Why…I don’t understand it”.


Yet…I know in part it’s the consequences and outworking of a society that has replaced marriage and family…with uncommitted sex and self-fulfillment. The millions of single men and women who are alone and lonely have reaped the consequences that have come from poor judgment and sin. Even those who are not outwardly sinning and breaking God’s commands are bearing the brunt of the increasing tidal wave of consequences.


I am so grateful to God for acting on my behalf. Fulfilling my life long dream to be married. For going before both Chris and I…preparing us and fitting us so perfectly for one another. By His divine plan and providence bring two people who otherwise would have never met, much less taken a second look at one another and allowing us to enter into the covenant of marriage. How marvelous and miraculous are Your ways oh God?


God answered my prayer for a husband and Chris’ prayer to be stretched and taken out of his comfort zone…in one fell swoop…by bringing us together. By removing our impaired vision when we first met and allowing us to see one another’s heart. By moving and stirring in our hearts that could have so easily been hardened and settled. By holding our hands as we crossed a mighty river of fear into the unknown. By helping and guiding us to say, “yes God”, when we encountered the scary territories of trusting God and learning to trust each other.


Dare I think that my mighty God who had compassion upon me…He who heard my cries does not hear the cries of my sisters who remain single not by choice? Do I think that God will not be moved to go before them…and give them the desires of their heart?


God is no respecter of persons. What He’s done for me…He is more than able to do the same and mightier works than these…for those whom He chooses to act.


Thus…I must lift up my sisters in prayer. Those whose pain…I know all to well. I also know my God. I know firsthand the compassionate, mighty, out working of His plan according to His perfect will and timing.

The Battle



Weary

From the seemingly endless attacks

Relentless

On every side

“No more!”

I cry out

I want to give up

Step aside

Take a break

For just a little while

What’s that?

Is that a snicker I hear?

“Discouragement,

Job well done!”

Success

She’s let down her shield again

We’ll win

If she comes to the battle alone

Victory is ours

If she comes unarmed and unprepared

The battle is on

Let’s turn up the heat

Be subtle

Lest she’ll turn to her God again

Oh no…she’s on bended knee

Pleading with her Lord for strength

She beseeches Him

To guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus

She remembers

He will never leave nor forsake her

She asks for wisdom

For God to guide her every step

If the battle remains between us

The victory is ours

If she enlists the help of her God

All is lost

Susan Bunts

August 10, 2008

Transforming Power

In my weakness
I want to turn around and walk away
But by the power of the Holy Spirit
I will return to the lion’s den this day

In my flesh
I want to strike back
But under the control of the Holy Spirit
I will choose to turn the other cheek

In my sin nature
I want to tell others of the offense against me
By the transforming power of Christ within
I will instead offer a prayer for the offender

In my humanity
Tears flow as I’m surrounded by quite
From the Word planted in my heart
I’m reminded that God will wipe every tear from my eyes

In my solitude
I attempt to wrestle against the spiritual forces of darkness
When I remember I am part of the body of Christ
I reach out and ask for my day to be covered in prayer

In my self confidence
I fail to prepare for spiritual warfare
In His wisdom, power and strength
I put on the full armor of God so I can stand against the devil’s schemes

By Susan Bunts
July 25, 2008