Faith Meter

Posted in Believing God, Faith, Trusting God by Susan Wachtel

Recently I’ve been experiencing some spiritual battles that left me feeling soundly defeated. Rather than believing God that I am more than a conqueror and acting on it…I believed the lies of the enemy. Much to my chagrin I’ve taken the bait one too many times.

That’s when I realized…I’m tired be living a defeated life. Tired of choosing fear and anxiety rather than trusting and believing God. Tired of looking at my circumstances and letting them be the measure of my faith. When my circumstances are good and everything is going my way…the faith meter is so high it’s off the charts. When troubles abound and the fiery darts of the enemy assail me…you can’t get a reading.

If my faith meter was instead a heart monitor…the doctors would pronounce me dead and pull the sheet over my head.

Isn’t my faith, to some degree, a measure of my heart towards God? Am I a person who loves God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength? If I don’t believe God is good…no matter what my circumstances…then how can I love Him when life turns ugly?

While meditating on my faith failures…God challenged me with the following thoughts:

Will I choose to love God when I don’t understand what He’s doing?
Will I choose to bless His holy Name when I don’t understand His purpose for allowing the enemy buffet me?
Will I choose to thank Him in all things?
Will I choose to obey Him when it’s the hard thing to do?
Will I choose to trust Him when I’m hurting?
Will I choose to look to Him, not my circumstances?
Will I choose to listen to Him only, not give an ear to the enemy?
Will I choose to pray rather than fret and imagine the worst?
Will I choose to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?
Will I choose to dwell upon that which is good, lovely, and pure and of good report?
Will I choose to continue to bring my requests to God…trusting His timing and answer to my prayers?
Will I trust that God is working out His good and perfect plan in the trials and tribulations of life?
Will I bring my loved ones before the throne of God and seek His wisdom on how to respond?
Will I choose to believe that God is doing a work in others, even when it’s not evidenced in the now?
Will I choose to saturate my mind with God’s word?
Will I seek to know God more?
Will I choose to say “Blessed be the Name of the Lord” in good times and bad…and mean it with all my heart?

Fear and anxiety are doubt and unbelief being worked out in my daily life.

Today I choose to believe God, love Him, trust and obey Him. By His power, through Christ and the Holy Spirit dwelling within me…I will be more than a conqueror today.

Tomorrow…I’ll be faced with that choice all over again. But for today…I choose to believe God.

19Jun2009

Easy Faith

Posted in Faith, poem, Salvation, Saving Faith by Susan Wachtel

An easy faith

That requires nothing of me

I come to God as I see fit

On my own terms

Church attendance is not required

No time in my busy schedule

Prayers are uttered

But only in times of crisis

No need to study God’s word

No desire to know truth revealed in Scripture

My faith is more about how I feel

An experience that makes me feel good

No need to share the gospel

Don’t all paths lead to God

My thoughts are not taken captive

There’s not much difference between me and the world

My son whom I love so much

Surely he is good enough

No need to train him up

In the way he shall go

No time to take him to church

When our days are filled with baseball, basketball, football and tennis

God’s warning may go unheeded

By ears who do not hear

Rather than being welcomed home

“Come, enter into the joy of your Master”

There will be a loud and resounding proclamation

“Away from Me, I never knew you”

Susan Bunts Wachtel

June 17, 2009

15Feb2008

Though He Slay Me

Posted in Anger, Believing God, Faith, Trusting God by Susan Wachtel

The problem with corresponding with a blogger is that you may be inspiring another post. Indeed your questions are thought provoking and something I’m well acquainted with.

You say that you’ve never met anyone else who has struggled with being angry or mad at God. Dare I say…I’d be willing to bet you have. It’s just that most folks aren’t too keen on admitting or acknowledging that they have ever been mad at God. People love to share that they love God and are seeking to know Him better and to read His word…but not too many folks are willing to raise their hand and say, “I’m angry at God”.

I pray my response can offer you some hope as you work through your anger and draw close to the Lord.

For so long I was angry at God because my life has not turned out at all like I wanted it to. I wasn’t asking for great wealth or to be famous. I was asking for love…to be married…and once upon a time I even dreamed about having children.

God’s word assures us that nothing is too hard for God. That He is more than able to handle all that concerns us…with ease. The Bible tells us that God is good and that He has compassion upon those whom He loves. So I prayed and prayed and prayed for years. I can’t tell you dark times and tears I’ve struggled with. Yet God remained silent on this.

I think I finally came to a breaking point. A crisis in my faith. Was I going to believe God and who He says He is…despite my circumstances? Or was I going to be at the mercy of my circumstances and let them dictate how I feel? Feel about God…and people and me?

That’s when the Holy Spirit started to challenge me. He brought scripture to mind. Was I going to really believe what I said I believed? If so…would that change how I act, think and feel?

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

If a human being has the ability to do good…to help someone but fails to do so…that would reflect poorly on their character. Especially if they had the ability to bring relief from great suffering and pain but refused to do so. More than uncaring, such a person would considered wicked or evil. To see hurt and have the ability to help…but refuse to. That’s hard to understand how someone can do that, isn’t it.

But God…is not like man. God is not so much interested in our happiness or comfort as much as He’s interested in our character…in our heart. In bringing us to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. Into growing into the image and likeness of Christ. His interests are in the eternal…not so much the temporary.

He’s all knowing. He knows that good can come from bad circumstances, pain and suffering. If you’ve ever had a painful time in your life but come out of it growing closer to the Lord or wiser or kinder and more caring…you know first hand that good can come out of bad. Now multiple times infinity and you have God…who knows all things. He sees our past, present and future all at once. He knows the eventual outcome of what we are going through. He knows it’s impact on us and others.

His aim, His focus is on eternity…not this brief time we have here on earth. In the scheme of eternity…time here on earth is a flash.

What we will gain in eternity…so outweighs what we go through here on earth. It doesn’t seem like that now…because this is all we’ve experienced. It can seem like everything. But it’s not.

One of the best illustrations that I’ve ever heard on us not understanding why God allows pain in our lives was a story told by Dr. James Dobson. He told of his son Ryan having an ear infection. He wife Shirley had taken Ryan to the doctor. But Shirley came to get Dr. Dobson because the doctor asked the impossible…to hold little Ryan down while he dug in his ear to get the infection out. Shirley couldn’t do it. But Dr. Dobson did. He held him in place for the doctor to go in and remove that infection. Ryan was in excruciating pain and he didn’t understand why his daddy, not only wouldn’t help him…but held him down while someone else caused him great pain. He said he hardest part was Ryan looking into his eyes from a mirror…pleading with him to help him. Dr. Dobson was helping him…but Ryan didn’t have the ability to understand it at the time.

That description by Dr. Dobson…was so apt…perfectly descriptive on what it feels like to be going through pain that God will not stop, nor will He explain.

It doesn’t make any sense to me…in my finite knowledge and understanding. I don’t like it…but I have a choice. I can choose to believe God and trust Him to be working out for good what I’m going through. For a lasting gain.

Or I can choose to be angry at God. Disappointed. Not trust Him. Fight Him and His plan.

It’s not easy to say, “Thy will be done.” Especially when we don’t know what will happen or what God will do in our circumstances. When we see others prosper or get away with evil with no consequences. But it’s helpful and encouraging to remind myself that their gain is temporary. My gain is simply delayed. Their gain is for the here and now…mine is in eternity. Even if I live to be 100 years old and suffer…what’ s 100 years compared to eternity?

To say, “Thy will be done”, requires trust. To trust someone, I must know His character, His intent, His purposes and His plan. To know God…I must read His word…where He has plainly revealed Himself. But at the same it’s so rich we can spend a lifetime studying the Bible, never be board or come the end.

So bottom line…how did I get over being angry at God? I had to decide….will I believe God and His word…or will I believe my circumstances and feelings?

I would encourage you to deal with your anger and let it go now. Don’t let pain and circumstances take the joy out of your life today and hope from tomorrow.

God is good…but He does allow bad and pain and hurt to go on in our lives. Sometimes He reveals why…sometimes we have to wait for heaven to understand.

Most importantly when I was angry…when I did not trust God…when I chose to be bitter and resentful…I was believing the lies of the enemy. He’s so subtle…that it’s easy to miss who is behind those feelings. It’s Satan up to his old tricks…casting doubt on God and His word. Just as he said to Eve, he says to us, “Did God really say…?”

Pray and don’t fall prey to the schemes of the enemy.

Lord’s blessings to you. I pray that God will help you to give up or work through your anger…and learn to fully trust Him.

12Feb2008

Fighting Faith

Posted in Bible, Faith, Sword of the Spirit by Susan Wachtel

The enemy seeks division,
Between me and my God,
He prods me to ask why,
Instead of trust and obey.

This trial will tell,
My faith, is it genuine and true?
Solid…unwavering…standing firm,
On the holy Word of God?

Will I permit circumstances to be my focus?
Give in…fall prey?
Believe him who was declared a liar from the beginning?
Or rise up…put on…the full armor of God?

The weapon supplied by my Father above,
When my mind is steeped in Scripture,
It’s then I might effectively wield,
The mighty Sword of the Spirit.

By Susan Bunts
February 11, 2008

29Jan2008

Backwards Faith

Posted in Faith, Prayer, Sinking Faith, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Water Walking Faith by Susan Wachtel

“No sweetie, you’ve got that backwards. You need to believe first, then receive. Instead you want to receive the answer to your prayer…and then you will believe that I AM and that I care for you and answer your prayers. It doesn’t work like that Susan. That takes no faith all…and requires no effort.”

“Yes Lord…You are right”, I responded as I pulled in to my driveway coming home Bible study.

I’m not sure if God used tonight’s lesson in Matthew 14 to continue to challenge my lack of faith? Or maybe it was the ongoing study in Luke I’ve been listening to in my drive time? Perhaps it was my response to a friend that weighed heavy on my mind when I was asked, “Why don’t you give your loneliness over to God?”

I think I’m kind of like Peter…my favorite apostle. Who when Jesus bid him to step out of the boat and walk on the water…he ventured out in faith. Peter took a few steps and was doing fine as long as his eyes were on the Lord. But when he looked around, beheld the stormy sea surrounding him and felt the boisterous wind…that’s what grabbed his attention. It was no longer his Lord standing before him and telling him to “Come”. Instead he realized that he was but a man and unable to walk on water…and then he began to sink. Peter started out enthusiastically. Hey…the other disciples just sat in the boat. They didn’t ask if they could walk on water…instead they chose the safety and comfort of the boat. Peter actually stepped out of the boat. But his enthusiastic, impulsive faith soon turned to sinking faith.

Likewise when I get my eyes off the Lord, who He is and what He can do…then my faith sinks to the bottom of the stormy sea like a dead weight….taking me right along with it.

But if I could have the faith…that emboldens me to step out and believe that I could walk on water when my Lord bids me to come. Oh to have a growing faith that takes one who denies his Lord when confronted by a little girl…to one who willingly died rather than renounce his faith in Christ Jesus our Lord. To have such faith that believes the words, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the Living God”.

Oh God…there is hope for me yet. I don’t have to tell You that I struggle to believe. But I’m tired of the enemy snatching away the seeds and fruit of my faith. God…I know that You are able to accomplish what concerns me today. That You are able to do abundantly more than I ask or imagine. I know that You are faithful when I am faithless. Jesus…I need You to give me faith…the faith to believe You and trust You. To trust You even when all I can see is the storm. When just around the corner there is a rainbow and the sun is peaking through the clouds…but I can’t see that yet from my perspective. You alone know the depths of my despair…and my hurting heart. You know my prayers uttered in the solitude and darkness. I know that You can answer my prayer. When I look back on my life…I can see clearly Your hand acting on my behalf. But Jesus…I can’t take this one across the goal line without You. So not only am I asking You to answer my long awaited prayer…but I’m asking You to give me the faith to believe. To walk with me in the dark times and rebuke the lies of the enemy with truth from Your Word. Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. That’s me Lord. Your word tells me to keep asking, keep seeking and keeping knocking and then I will receive. Jesus…You hear that annoying knocking…that’s me. I can’t wait until You answer. Jesus…I’m asking You to exchange my sinking faith…for faith that walks on water.

At times…it seems like I see God or a message from God in just about everything. The other day when driving to work…I saw the most magical rainbow. At first all I could see was the top of the arch. But as I drove closer…I could see the end of the rainbow. It was so close…I felt like I could drive right to it. Instead I reached for my camera phone to try and capture a photo so I would not forget. Then the light changed to green…and I had to go. As I drove into the rain and clouds the rainbow and sun disappeared. I felt as if God was saying to me, “Susan…you need to remember this. The rainbow and sun are just back there. It’s still there…you just can’t see it.” Did I believe that? Absolutely. I’ve just got to do the same when it comes to faith and trusting God for what I can’t yet see.

17Jan2008

Dependable Faith…Tried, Tested & True

Posted in Believe God, Beth Moore, Faith, Kindred Community Church, Mike Paddison, Pastor Chuck Obremski, Trusting God by Susan Wachtel

At times the topic of faith seems like the subject du jour. If I’m not in the middle of a crisis…I’m analyzing the last one I went through…examining my successes and failures. Sometimes it feels like for every time I get it right…trust God and believe Him in faith…I falter and fail twice as much.

At times I feel that my faith walk with God should in reality be called my faith wrestle with God. I feel like such a faith failure and wonder why God ever bothered to choose me. A Christian having failure of faith…probably isn’t the best witness to an unbelieving world. But I found reassurance when I heard Beth Moore say that when you wrestle with someone…it’s up close and personal. You are right there with them.

So while my wrestling may not be pretty….it’s real and honest. Maybe the best thing to take away from it…I’m still there wrestling…I’m hanging in and hanging on. Hanging on to Jesus.

In the past couple of days…I recorded some random thoughts about faith…and trusting God. Believing that He is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do.

When I pray and God is not answering my prayers…I know God can act and in the past has acted. But for whatever reason…He chooses not to do so now. At those times…I just don’t understand. I don’t know why He chooses not to answer some prayers. Sometimes getting over that faith barrier seems insurmountable when I’m not able to do anything to move the hand of God.

I won’t know for sure this side of heaven why God permits some things. But if I might suggest this…God wants me to praise Him and trust Him even when the answer is no. Look at Job and how much affliction he suffered unabated for so long. I think part of it is surrendering to His will and continuing to know that He is good…even when it doesn’t feel like it. Will I continue to trust Him…will I continue to reach out and pray anyway? Will I praise Him when the answer is not forthcoming or the answer is no?

Sometimes it’s harder to trust God when my prayer is unanswered than when His answer is no.

With a human being…if they have the ability to do something good and help…but refuse to help it reflects poorly on their character and heart. But the same does not hold true with God. His purposes are not only our immediate present here and now. He is looking at a greater good…and heavenly eternal lasting rewards. I want relief right now. Sometimes that will not achieve His greater plan. Thus His ways are higher than our ways…His thoughts are not our thoughts.

I think perhaps it’s about surrendering at a heart level. Knowing and believing that God is good and that He does love me…even when He allows pain and hurt and loneliness to continue…even when I don’t understand it.

I remember one of Pastor Philip De Courcy’s messages at Kindred Community Church….it was called Back from the Dead? He said that Jesus said to Mary and Mary…”For your sake I’m glad he’s dead…” Philip paused there and expanded on why Jesus…and God the Father may be glad in our pain and sorrow. Because He is in the process of working out a greater good.

His eyes are focused…far beyond…He can see the good in our immediate pain and difficulty. He knows how He’s changing us and using our circumstances to grow us…or to reach others. So…yes…in some respects God does want us to experience pain. But not for ill or bad purposed…but for good…and greater glory.

Doesn’t feel too good now does it. To know that there is One who is able to help…but He doesn’t. It hurts. My friend Mike Paddison recently observed that unanswered pray feels like rejection. Never thought of it like that…but yes it’s an apt description.

As I’m going back through and listening to Pastor Chuck Obremski’s Luke study…I’m relearning a lot about faith. Pastor Chuck reminded us that faith isn’t real until it’s tested. It can’t be depended upon until it’s tested. There are days I don’t like buying that notion…but honestly Chuck’s faith was among the most real that I’ve seen.
Faith that is purified and refined…goes through the fire. Will mine come out as pure gold?

10Jan2008

Speak Lord, Thy Servant Heareth

Posted in Believing God, Beth Moore, Bible Study, Dave Dunn, Doubt, Faith, Kindred Community Church, Luke, Pastor Chuck Obremski, Revelation by Susan Wachtel

With the busyness of the holidays and a brief break from the usual Bible studies and church related activities…I have felt a silence from God. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been distracted…this servant has not had ears to hear.

This week…I’m starting to get back into my normal schedule…which includes a prayer meeting and a couple of Bible studies during the week.

In recent months…I was listening to Beth Moore’s Bible studies…and oh how God speaks to me through her personal and powerful teaching. But a few weeks ago…as I was about to pop in one of Beth’s CDs…and I thought “No…I want to hear the study of Luke”.

Shortly after Kindred Community Church became a church, our Pastor Chuck Obremski started a study in the book of Luke. That study lasted 87 weeks…and it is a phenomenal study. During the course of the study…Pastor Chuck was diagnosed with cancer…thus began his “cancer coaster”…and as a church we were on the cancer coaster with Chuck and his family. While I had attended the study live…I had forgotten how awesome that study was.

Going back and hearing it again…takes my breath away. Each week the Gospel was preached…and no one could sit in class and not hear of their need for a Savior and that the Savior is Jesus Christ. The word of God is so powerful and it transforms lives. It is with delight and awe I am listening the Luke study again.

Today…God in His sometimes not so subtle way…had a few messages for me.

As Chuck taught about the parable of the sowers in Luke 8…he brought it home by reminding us that we have to use what God has given us or it will be taken away.

“He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away. – Luke 19:26

When I heard that verse…I didn’t have to think how that applied to me. I knew immediately that the Holy Spirit was reminding me that God has given me a measure of faith. The question is…am I believing God? Am I exercising my faith? Or am I like the fool who buries his treasure? Make no mistake…faith is more valuable than all the treasures on earth…but only when it exercised.

When I fail to exercise my faith…when I choose to believe the lies of the enemy…then my measure of faith that God has given me will be taken away. Actually I will have surrendered it. Do you know any men or women of great faith? Do you find yourself admiring their faith…and wishing you had a powerful deep abiding faith like they do? Well God wants to make each of us great men and women of faith.

There is an issue in my life that has been one of the biggest areas where I struggle with faith. That’s with regards to being single. This is where I allow my hurt and loneliness to cause me to believe the lies of the enemy. That God doesn’t love me or care for me…and that He will never change my circumstances.

I see what’s going on around me in the lives of unbelievers and believers alike…and I hear Satan reminding me that God has provided them with a spouse…or has allowed them to live together outside of marriage seemingly no consequence to something that God has clearly stated is wrong.

It’s so easy to turn my inability to understand what God is doing…and His plan and timing into doubt and unbelief. But when I do that…I’m falling right into the hands of the enemy. I’m handing over the measure of faith that God has given me. Instead of shoring up my mind with scripture that reminds me of God’s faithfulness…I give in to defeat.

God continued His message to me tonight through our study in Revelation 12. Elder Dave Dunn reminded us that those who believe Satan’s lie that God is a liar…have abdicated their faith over to the enemy. It’s what he’s been doing since the beginning. He did it with Eve when he questioned, “Did God really say…?” And he continues to use that which has been very successful to this day.

There are times I’m a little slow on the uptake…so God made sure that He reinforced the message as I drove home from Bible study. I was listening to Chuck teach on four meaty verses.

“Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.” And they launched out. But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. But He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!” – Luke 8:22-25

Now this is a story I’m very familiar with…I’ve heard so many times before. But I never heard this before, “Where is your faith?”.

Indeed…where is my faith God? I have surrendered it too many times to the enemy. I’ve believed his lies…that You don’t love me, or care for me and won’t act in my situation.

The other thing that struck me…is that the storm was stilled immediately. The disciples fretted and worried needlessly before they awoke Jesus. In nothing flat He attended to their needs.

It will take no effort for God to change my life and my situation. With just a word…He can rebuke the enemy and answer my prayers. The question is…where is my faith? In Whom is my faith? Will I choose to exercise my faith?

As Dave taught us tonight he said one thing in particular grabbed me. He said that God had used Paul so much because he had yielded, obeyed and submitted himself to God. Dave challenged us to do the same. God desires to use each of us greatly if we will but yield, obey and submit ourselves to Him. For me part of that is having faith and believing God even the storm wails about me…when the dark clouds obstruct the sun…and waves threaten to sink my boat.

Right now that stormy sea is an apt description of my struggle with faith. I’m like the father who cried out to Jesus, “I believe, help me with my unbelief.”

17Dec2007

Lazy Faith

Posted in Believing God, Faith, Lazy Faith, Prayer, Trusting God by Susan Wachtel

On today’s faith venture in Believing God…I’m seeing a clear picture that I have lazy faith. I thank God that He trusts me enough to reveal these things…that means He trusts me to want to change them. Now I fully admit I can’t change it on my own. But even knowing that is good…because before I thought it was a goal achieved through my own effort and self will. Now I know that I am weak and unable to do anything on my own…must less exercise faith.

I can see in the past that God, in His mercy, answered prayers of mine when I had little or no faith. He didn’t do it because I exercised great faith and trusted in Him. He did it out of mercy and because He knew I was a new Christian or young in my faith.

But I grew lazy…not wanting to strive or to pray without ceasing…but still get God to answer my prayers. I could have my proverbial cake and eat it too. When I do that…I’m acting worse then an unbeliever.

But God is not satisfied in leaving me young and immature in my faith. He wants me to grow…in faith and in my knowledge of Him. He wants me to participate. To believe Him…to keep believing…even when my circumstances would say otherwise.

I think I have been more satisfied with justifying my unbelief and lack of faith then in believing God. I’ve been more content with complaining about what I don’t have then to thank God for what I do have. Perturbed that I have to keep praying to God instead of falling down on my knees in humble adoration and gratitude that I can even come before the throne. More likely to doubt God then to know with confidence that He is more than able to accomplish what concerns me today.

God tells us in His word that we are to ask, seek and knock.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 6:7-8

This is an ongoing and continuous command…I am to keep asking, keep seeking and keep knocking. I can keep doing that because I know with confidence that my God is able to answer my prayers and He is a good God who cares for me. When I ask, seek and knock…I must be willing to submit to His will.

Where ever did I get the notion that faith should be easy? For Pete’s sakes I’m in a spiritual battle. What enemy has ever made their opponent’s victory easy? Anything good is worth fighting for.

Shouldn’t I remember most importantly that God is prize? Yes…I can come to Him in prayer…present my requests in faith, with thanksgiving and know that He is able to handle my every need or concern with ease. But the real prize…the thing that is most important…is not that He will answer my prayers…but that He desires to have a relationship with me. God Almighty…Creator of heaven and earth…Father, Son and Holy Spirit…wants to know me.

Dear Father…I have so failed in my faith. I have missed the mark and did not comprehend that You are the prize. Jesus…help me to grow strong in my faith…by exercising my faith muscles with daily and continuous workouts. May I be mindful I am in a spiritual battle…and strive for victory no matter what the cost. I come to You in Christ alone. Amen!

16Dec2007

Old Woman Sight Walking Faith is Dead

Posted in Believing God, Beth Moore, Doubt, Faith, Sight Walking Faith, Unbelief, Walk by Faith, Walking by Faith by Susan Wachtel

Not sure how much of an inkling I had at some of the ugly stuff that would be revealed as I delve into my faith…in my study of Believing God.

I never wanted to do therapy…because I figure I’ve already lived the bad stuff…I don’t want to waste even one more moment of my life dwelling on it. But I’m starting to see the importance of examining the outworking of my faith compared to what God says it should be…and what pleases Him.

Boy oh boy…am I coming up short! And folks…it ain’t pretty. As the days and weeks go by in this study…I hope to better understand why my faith is so weak. But right now all I’m seeing is my failure of faith.

God makes it very clear in His word…that He desires for us to have faith and to believe Him. He even rewards our faith. Reading Hebrews 11….the Hall of Faith…I am in awe of what these people endured and how they maintained their focus on God and His promises. They didn’t waver with doubt and unbelief…nor were they concerned on how God would accomplish what He had promised. Instead they stood steadfast and resolute in believing their God.

Faith, trust and believing God is a way to glorify and honor Him…it pleases Him. Can you imagine a child who is fearful and concerned about how her parent will provide and take care of her? That surely wouldn’t speak too well of that parent now would it? But in this instance…my lack of faith and trust…doesn’t speak well of me.

I find it kind of amazing that God delights and rewards those who believe and trust Him in faith. But when I look at a parent…don’t they delight in doing good things for their child? Don’t they take great pleasure in bringing happiness and joy to their child? How much more so God?

When I look at Abraham…I marvel at his great faith. I ask myself…if God called me to sacrifice my only child….would I obey? If I obeyed…would I be quick to do so and not question God?

Am I going to believe God…and who He says He is? Trust what He says He will do? Or am I going to believe my circumstances…and only what I can see? I’m quite adept at sight walking faith. But God wants me to walk by faith…and I’ve failed that test miserably.

It’s easy to believe what’s in front of me and what I can see. It requires effort, faith and work to know God’s word…and His character as revealed in the Bible. In a different context the Bible tells me that I am to deny myself, pick up my cross and follow Jesus. Since doubt and unbelief is so ingrained in me…wouldn’t I be denying myself and following Jesus when I choose to believe Him by faith? So often…I think of denying myself in terms of denying certain pleasures…but perhaps that command encompasses even more than that.

As I look at my faith…and my poor track record…I realize that I’m not able to achieve this on my own…that God will have to give me the faith to believe Him. The Holy Spirit is going to be doing double duty…bringing to mind the scriptures I’ve studied…to help keep me walking by faith.

Sight walking faith has bigger consequences than just loosing out on blessings in this world. It also affects my prayer life. When I doubt my God…do I bring everything to Him by prayer and petition…and present my request to Him? Am I faithful to bring unbelieving friends and family before the throne of God and beseech Him for mercy and for their salvation? How many people are praying for them…for their hurts and needs? How many cry out to God for their salvation? Shouldn’t my voice be lifted up to God in heaven…that He would save their souls? What will I be feeling in heaven when the books are closed and people that I could have prayed for aren’t there?

Am I willing to deny myself…my doubt and unbelief…and trust God in faith? Am I willing to turn away from sight walking faith…and walk by faith through the power of the Holy Spirit within me?

Oh Lord…please help me. You know how I have failed, time and time again. You are going to have to give me the faith…because I am frail and weak in my faith…and unable to believe on my own. Help me to believe You and trust You. Help me to walk by faith. Thank you Jesus…that I am a new creation in You.

To quote Clarence Thomas’ grandfather Meyer Anderson, “Old Man Can’t is dead, I know, I buried him myself.”

Old Woman Sight Walking Faith is dead…I know because she was crucified with Christ. She was born again…and is now called Walking by Faith.

God…would you consider adding a verse Hebrews 11? Something like this, “By faith Susan…”

15Dec2007

Believing God Is Hard Work

Posted in Believing God, Beth Moore, Faith, Prayer, Trusting God by Susan Wachtel

As I start again the Beth Moore study Believing God…I’m finding that I’m going to be challenging some strongholds of doubt and unbelief in my life. Some of the ugly places…the things that I don’t think that I should have as a Christian.

There are times I wonder if I’m an aberration in the body of Christ? Am I the only one who struggles with doubt and unbelief?

Things like struggling with prayer. Do my prayers make a difference…or am I just wasting God’s time? After all…His will is going to happen anyway…shouldn’t I just submit instead?

No I shouldn’t surrender to the enemy’s lies that my prayers don’t matter. That’s what the person who most hates me in the whole entire world wants me to believe. He doesn’t want me to see and know that God loves me, cares about me and wants me to come to Him in faith, believing that He is good and entrusting Him with my concerns…and even the desires of my heart.

Satan wants me to doubt God. Doubt His goodness and doubt His character. He wants me to remain ignorant of God’s word. Or if I know what He says…to at least not believe it. Not believe that it applies to me personally. That what God promises in His word to His people…applies to me Susan.

When I don’t believe in a good God…one who loves me…it makes it harder to take my requests to Him in prayer. Why would I trust something that is most precious to me…to Someone who doesn’t loves me?

Satan likes to remind me daily…hourly…of how God has failed me…delayed…just plain not answered the prayer that is most important to me. He takes me on a tour of my life…to see how God has allegedly failed me. How He has turned His back on me…and just doesn’t care. He doesn’t love me…and I’m not worth it. That is the path of doubt and unbelief that the enemy likes to take me down.

While doing my first day’s homework…God reminded me that believing Him is work…it takes effort. It’s a choice I need to make daily…hourly…minute by minute. It takes no effort to believe the lies I’m being fed by Satan. But it takes effort to know God and His Word…to raise my shield of faith. It’s is work and takes faith to believe God…even when the evidence around me would say otherwise.

Now if I’m believing God…I will instead say that God’s delay in answering my prayer in giving me the desires of my heart…is because He is in the process of growing and preparing me…and working on the man whom I will marry. That God has a perfect timing and plan for me that He put in place from before the foundations of the world. That He is able to make a marriage which seems late in coming…perfect in His time. That it will be rich and full…and well worth the wait. That I will one day say…now I understand why You waited God.

Believing God is work…and I have an enemy who wants me to doubt God. He can not steal away my salvation…but he can make my life so miserable that I don’t even want to live anymore. Why would I allow him that victory?

But I can see most clearly that I don’t have the power and ability to have the faith I need on my own. If I’m going to get through this study…if I’m going to believe God, trust Him, take my requests to Him…and in confidence know that He will answer according to His perfect plan and timing…then He will have to give me the faith to believe.

So God…that is my first prayer…please give me the faith to believe You. I can’t do it on my own. So if You want me to believe…have faith…a powerful faith that brings down strongholds and exposes the lies of the enemy…then You will have to give it to me…fill me with faith. As Your word says…I can come confidently before Your throne with my requests…because I come to You in Christ Jesus my Lord.

Faith please…please give me the faith to believe God.

12Dec2007

Heaven to Earth

Posted in Faith, Grace, Jesus Christ by Susan Wachtel

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

The thing I love most about this picture is the reminder…that Jesus came here to earth.

God incarnate lay His glory aside, so that He might take my sin upon Himself, pay the penalty for my sins, so that I might be forgiven. Because He lived a sinless perfect live, His righteousness was credited to my account. My sin debt has been paid in full. I have been saved, by grace, through faith…Praise God!

1Dec2007

With All the Many Miracles

Posted in Faith, Greater Vision, Kindred Community Church, Pastor Chuck Obremski, Pastor Philip De Courcy, Trusting God by Susan Wachtel

God gave the bold command
To cross the Jordan and take the land
Not to worry about the giants they would face
But when the spies returned
To tell the others what they had learned
They said, “For us to win, there’s just no way.”

Still two of them trusted God,
Caleb and Joshua
They said, “Children, don’t believe what you have heard.
We know we’re out manned by far,
They’re much bigger than we are.
But let’s not forget just Who it is we serve.”

With all the many miracles
Why don’t you think it’s possible?
With all the many things we’ve seen
Why do you think it’s just a dream?
With all the things He’s done for us
Don’t you think it’s time we trust?
Remember what is possible
With all the many miracles.

Like when we were about to die,
Manna fell from the sky.
Then water came from a dry old dusty rock.
And back when Pharaoh was closing in,
God closed the sea again,
But not before we all had safely crossed.

So here you are my friend,
You face a battle you cannot win
You tell yourself, “There just no need to try”
Consider how good God’s been,
He’s been faithful time and again,
You must believe and here’s the reason why.

With all the things He’s done for us
Don’t you think it’s time we trust?
Remember what is possible
With all the many miracles.

By Rodney Griffin, Greater Vision

Anybody in need of a miracle today? Anybody being challenged to keep the faith in the midst of difficult circumstances and dark days? I for one raise my hand high and say, “Yes Jesus, I believe help me with my unbelief. Please God bless me.”

Terry and David…I’m dedicating this song to both of you. You both share a love for the music of Greater Vision. When I listen to their music…my faith is built up. It’s so Biblically based and taken straight from scripture. I pray that the Lord touches your feelings and reminds you that He loves you and is at work in your circumstances. May we be ever mindful that He is faithful. Love you two…and stay strong in the Lord!.

The above song is by the Gospel trio Greater Vision…my favorite Gospel group. I first heard them when listening to Charles Stanley’s In Touch program. Greater Vision is one of their frequent guests. Usually I’ll watch the program on Saturday evening or Sunday morning before church.

Rodney Griffin is their songwriter. He writes most of their music…and it is the best. Gerald Wolfe and Jason Waldrop join Rodney to make up this wonderful Gospel trio. It is my prayer that one day…I will get to see them sing in person.

“With All the Many Miracles” is the song that has most touched me both when I first heard and even today…when I need an infusion of faith and courage to trust God even before I see His work in my circumstances…I’ll listen to this song.

When I first heard “With All the Many Miracles”…it was around the time our Bible Study Kindred Fellowship was soon to become a church, Kindred Community Church. It was a time of uncertainty. We knew God was leading and at work…but we didn’t know how He was going to work things out.

But our God is faithful…and likes to do things in a big way. He faithfully lead our church and provided what we needed according to His prefect plan and timing. Praise Him. So when my beloved Pastor Chuck Obremski was battling cancer and eventually called home to be with his Lord, this song kept me focused on God and His ability to act and move in our situation. When we were without a Pastor for two years…this song reminded me that God was at work…and that we would one day see the outworking of His plan. Which we saw when He called Pastor Philip De Courcy to the pulpit at Kindred.

Today…when I see my life, not as I had imagined or hope, I once again listen to this song…to bring me hope and knowledge that He is faithful and will provide what is needed according to His plan and in His perfect timing.

God’s timing is usually different than mine. But it is in retrospect that I see just how right His timing and plan was. So Jesus…tonight…I put my trust and hope in You to work in my life. I’ve cried out to you so many times…at this point I’m nagging. But like the woman who came to Jesus and begged for her daughter’s deliverance…I too will persist until Jesus tells me, “Susan, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.”

27Nov2007

Only Believe

Posted in Believing God, Faith, Only Believe, Sight Walk, Trusting God, Walk by Faith by Susan Wachtel

If the words had been audible…God’s message to me couldn’t have been clearer. “Susan, only believe!”

As I studied this week’s Bible Study Fellowship lesson I saw example after example of people who demonstrated great faith. From the men who brought their paralytic friend to Jesus so that he might be healed. To the woman who had an issue of blood for 12 years. Jairus had mission to have Jesus do the unthinkable…bring his dead daughter back to life. Even the blind men came to Jesus believing that He was able to restore their sight. In their joy and excitement over the miracle that Jesus had just performed…they went out and did the very thing Jesus commanded them not to do…they blabbed about what the Messiah had done to everyone they encountered.

Do I have great faith…the kind of faith that motivates God to answer my prayers? Faith to believe that He is able to do that which is impossible with man? Do I have the kind of faith…that brings Him glory because it shines forth…even before it’s answered? Do I have such joy and excitement that I can not be contained and must share the good news of Jesus Christ with everyone I encounter?

The example that has always touched me the most personal…is the woman with an issue of blood. Think of it…in the Jewish society…this woman was considered unclean. She would not have been able to worship at the temple. Anyone who came into contact with her would have been considered unclean so she would have been shunned, she couldn’t even have normal relations with her husband. On top of the social aspect…this condition must have left run down to the point of exhaustion. There were no iron pills to fix anemia. She couldn’t take an Advil to help alleviate any pain…her condition only got worse and worse…and now she was broke and bleeding still.

Jesus was her last ditch effort. Perhaps she had heard the stories of ones before her…the lepers that were cleansed, the sick that were healed by His touch or by His word, the blind who were made to see. There were even whispers of a storm on the Galilean Sea that stopped in an instant as Jesus said the words, “Be still”. Surely this man must be God.

She believed…she knew that all she needed to do is reach out her hand. Even if she just touched the hem of His garment…just that alone would be enough to heal her, end her suffering and misery….restore her life as it once was. But once you’ve been touched by the Savior’s healing touch…your life will never be the same.

These people had faith. A faith that was unstoppable. A faith that would not be discouraged, pushed down or ignored. A faith that tuned out the naysayers and loud voices of doubt and unbelief. A faith where their eyes were focused on Jesus. A faith that knew the scriptures about what God had done for those whom He called His own.

Faith is one of the key areas that I struggle with. It’s never been an issue of whether God is able to do that which I’m praying about…but will He? That’s where the rubber meets the road…and where I’ve gone off track.

Something about “have faith”…just seems like you either have it or you don’t. And when you don’t…where do you get that infusion of faith and how long with it last?

But “Only Believe”…now that is something that requires me to have a living active faith. Something that I’m choosing to participate in. I’m choosing to believe God.

Faith is the avenue by which God chooses to answer our prayers. When Jesus is my aim and focus…trials and tribulations fade to the background. I know that He is the invincible and mighty God…who is more than able to accomplish what concerns me today.

Will I choose this day to “walk by faith”? Or will I choose to have “sight walking faith”?

God…Your word tells us that You give us the measure of faith to believe. So Jesus…I’m asking for trial and tribulation breaking faith. I’m asking for Jesus vision faith. I’m asking for faith that will bring You glory. I’m asking for faith that breaks down walls and perseveres until prayers are answered. I’m asking for unwavering faith…that never trembles or doubts when confronted with the impossible.

Jesus…I’m asking for the faith so that I may, “Only Believe”. Amen!

24Nov2007

Spirit of Christmas

Posted in Alzheimer's, Faith, Mike Paddison, Poor in Spirit, Sight Walk, Thanksgiving, the Morgan's, Walk by Faith by Susan Wachtel

Michael was right…well mostly.

I think yesterday was my first real Thanksgiving dinner since before my step-dad Joe died in 2001. In the year or two preceding his death…Thanksgiving and Christmas were much different than early years. The large family gathering had dwindled greatly. It was either Thanksgiving or Christmas that found Joe, Gayle and me in the car looking for a restaurant to dine at. While it’s good to be with family and loved ones…there’s just something about a sandwich at a restaurant that doesn’t evoke the feelings as a traditional Thanksgiving dinner at home.

After Joe died…the next Thanksgiving was spent with my mom Gayle…who about seven months later would be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. With the foresight of hindsight…I finally understood why she was acting so odd. What seemed unusual then…would soon become our reality over the next six years and continuing to this day.

So when the invitation came to join the Morgan family for Thanksgiving I was most grateful. I so looked forward to a regular Thanksgiving. My sister Denise and I stopped by to see Gayle in the morning before heading off our separate ways. In some respects I did feel bad that I didn’t spend the day with Gayle. In recent years…we have had a “new kind of Thanksgiving” which included me spending the afternoon with her…watching a Christmas movie and putting up her Christmas decorations. But this year…I was eager for a normal Thanksgiving Day.

This was my first time over at the Morgan’s. As I drove down the tree lined street…I knew I would fall in love with the house. A house with old wooden floors and antiques…and pictures of ancestors hanging on the walls. Let’s just say…I could spend the afternoon looking about at all the treasures. From hearing stories of the tree planted in the backyard almost 50 years when Daniel was 2 years old…to the story of great grandfather who lived during the Civil War…I was enchanted as I beheld his picture and heard the wind blowing the leaves of the tree planted so long ago.

A meal of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce was topped off by a slice of yummy pumpkin pie. An afternoon walk seemed just right as I looked up at the trees that lined the street and was regaled with stories of what it was like to grow up in the neighborhood.

It’s odd because just a couple of miles away…I spent my sixth grade year…sharing an apartment with my mom. She was in nursing schooling following the death of my dad. I was what would be termed a “latch key kid”. It made me wonder…did we ever pass one another at the store or meet each other all those years ago?

Just as I was thinking I was being obnoxious for staying so late…I planned to bow out at half time during the big USC vs. Arizona State ball game. But that plan was quickly laid to rest as we chatted about movies. Jerry and Louise told me about one of their favorite movies “Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines”. Half time came…and on went the movie. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. The movie was made in 1965 long before ethnic humor was a no, no. I found myself quite smitten with Stuart Whitman…and looked forward to his movie scenes.

So after a wonderful day like that…how could I be downcast, tearful and feel devoid of the Christmas spirit? Let’s just say…I’m wrestling with God again. This time over His timing and trying to trust His good and perfect plan for me. I found myself…walking by sight…not faith as His word commands.

This morning I was greeted with an email from Mike Paddison as we exchanged post Thanksgiving greetings. Mike reported that he and his wife Jo had a nice Thanksgiving and were getting started on putting up Christmas decorations.

I filled him in on my Thanksgiving Day…and my struggle with God. I ended by telling him…I wasn’t even sure if I would decorate for Christmas. Mike encouraged me to put on some Christmas music…and the Christmas spirit would follow.

Well Michael wasn’t far off. Following a trip to the Main Place Mall I felt ready to get out the decorations. I ran into a snafu with my new Christmas tree…which necessitated a trip to the store to make an exchange. In the car…I put my new Josh Grogan Christmas CD in the player. As I was driving home on this clear windy night…Josh was singing The Little Drummer Boy.

That song has never impressed me to any degree…so I was surprised when I was quite moved by his rendition. My mind was flooded with thoughts…on being poor and having nothing to offer my Savior. I was reminded of one the beatitudes “blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”.

Suddenly my “sight walking faith” seemed to bear witness to my being so poor in spirit. But thank you Lord that I have the assurance of being with You in heaven in spite of my poor spirit.

Jesus…I’m sorry I keep looking with my physical eyes…and looking at my past. I haven’t been looking at my Savior who has power over sin and death. He who can bring victory over all my circumstances. Like Mary and Martha looking at dead Lazarus, I cry out “Where were you Lord? If only you had been here.”

But Jesus was about to work a miracle. Where their faith and sight walking ended…Jesus was going to perform a miracle. Oh Jesus I pray that You will work a miracle in me and my life too. I confess I am so poor in spirit. But nothing, no nothing is impossible with You!

10Nov2007

Can We Talk?

Posted in Answered Prayer, Bible Study Fellowship, Failure, Faith, Seeking God by Susan Wachtel

Hey there my Abba Father…my Daddy. Do you have a minute? Can we talk?

It seems like the last couple of weeks I have been so busy…I’ve been racing around doing a lot of stuff…even good things but haven’t made enough time for You.

I feel like You are doing a work in my life. I’ve had some extreme highs and lows these last two weeks. On those mountain top highs…I feel like floating on cloud and will never come down and my faith has never been higher.

Before I know it the next day or next hour…doubt creeps in and my faith fails me. That which I believed You were doing is now in doubt. Lord…if the work You are doing in my life and if answering my one and only prayer is based on my faith…I might as well pack it up. But if it’s based on Your goodness and mercy towards…albeit so very undeserved…then my prayer will be answered.

You know Father…when I go to Bible Study Fellowship each week I never know if I’m going to be convicted or encouraged in my spirit. The last couple of weeks…I must confess were conviction. Both times…I barely made it to class on time…and both weeks…completing my lesson had been put off until the very last day…and I was writing down my last answers before I got into the car to go to class. I start out good by reading the notes the first day…then I’ve been getting off track after that.

Last week…I wasn’t sitting in our group for more than a few minutes when You dealt with me. The new girl shared how hard the first few lessons were so hard for her to complete. That she only was able to do so by praying and relying upon Your Holy Spirit to guide her. If You would have hit me upside the head…I don’t think I would have felt it more. I realized that I take for granted completing the lessons. I’ve been in BSF now for a number of years. Even when don’t take the time to genuinely see what You are saying in your word…I can come up with the “right answer”. But in doing so…in studying the Bible based on my own wisdom and knowledge, by failing to come to You in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit guide me…I’m missing it. I’m missing You Jesus.

It’s kind of like going so see a friend, to talk and catch up…but instead I’m looking out the window, not paying attention and not listening to a word they say.

I’m sure it was my guilty conscience that caused me to feel like you were punishing me by making me sit in the back row. You know how much I love to sit in the front row…no distractions…I can focus. I felt like You were saying, “Susan…you put Me in the back row this week. Now tell Me, how does it feel?” You know what…it doesn’t feel good God.

To top it off…I was distracted. Focused on the girl that offended me when I walked in. I know she didn’t mean it that way. I do know that…but You had me working on issues of forgiveness while I listened to the lecture. You know how they say hindsight is 20/20…well ain’t that the truth? If had been quick to forgive the offence, and quickly come to You and asked for forgiveness for putting You in the back row…I would have been able to concentrate and hear what Your word had to say to me that night.

On Monday night…You had another lesson waiting for me. They always seem to take me by surprise or are from the most unexpected sources. Sometimes during the lecture…sometimes in class when sharing our answers.

I guess I could analyze why I didn’t answer the question right…but bottom line…it never even crossed my mind. I’m the one that missed out because I didn’t seek You, I didn’t make the time to study diligently Your word so that I could know You better.

Jesus…how could I have missed it? How? The question…what are your treasures stored up in heaven? Obviously I knew that my salvation is secured in heaven because of Your sacrifice on the cross. I thought I was being humble when I dared not presume to state what treasures I have stored up in heaven. How dare I…I don’t even deserve to be there.

But I missed it….You Jesus are my treasure in heaven. How could I have missed that? As soon as I heard it…I knew it!

Jesus…now for the hard question…did I not know it because I have failed to make You my treasure here on earth?

Jesus…I don’t want to do that ever again. I don’t care if I get every answer wrong on my lesson…as long as I find You that is all that I want.

Jesus…this week You revealed Yourself to me in the most marvelous way. Words can not describe it. I have never in my life felt Your presence like I did Sunday night. I bathed in Your glory and I never wanted to leave.

I’m tired of letting the distractions of this world bid me to set You aside for them. Now I’m not saying I want to go live on some mountaintop and live a life with no demands competing for my time and attention. But I want to make time for You each day…in prayer…in the study of Your word. I don’t want to rush through a lesson in order answer all the questions…only to miss The Answer.

But I can’t do this on my own. The demands of life will keep nipping at my heals demanding attention. Now Jesus…You dealt with this when You walked this earthy…so I know You know the pressures and can help me.

God…why did You choose me before the foundations of this world? One who is so weak and such a failure? I feel like such a hypocrite just like the Pharisees. I put on a good act on the outside…but there are times when there is little going on within me.

Jesus…I don’t want to miss You. Will You hold on to me and promise to never let go? Because I can’t promise I’ll do the same. I am so weak. I want to bring You glory…I want to do good…but I can’t do it on my own God. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit…and never, ever let me go. In Jesus holy name I pray…Amen!

3Nov2007

Of Little Worth

Posted in Believing God, Doubt, Faith, Healing, Trusting God, Unbelief by Susan Wachtel

You haven’t thought about me for years now,
Have you, little girl?
For years I dominated your life,
Made you feel worthless, like nothing,
Even wanting to die.

Then you accepted Christ,
Sixteen years ago.
And He began to heal your wounds.
You thought of me less and less,
Until finally years would go by with nary a thought.

You learned to let go,
Forgive…even when you didn’t understand,
Made your life about your present,
Trusting God,
For eternal security and a place in heaven.

You’ve worked diligently to prove yourself,
To feel like something of worth,
Then tonight I slipped in,
Just a thought,
A reminder of your past.

Will I lure you once again,
Into darkness and depression?
Or will you renew your mind,
In Christ Jesus,
Mindful that you are a new creation in Him?

Before…I had you in my hand.
Then Christ Jesus freed you…
From all your past.
That’s when I declared war,
After all…I’m the enemy of your soul.

Will you follow your feelings?
Or believe God’s word,
And His power within?
Sure your salvation is secure,
But your present is being worked out.

I urge you to follow the easy path of emotions.
Dare not trust God for a miracle.
It’s been forty-eight years that you’ve waited,
Need I remind…you’re no Abraham and Sarah,
Nor David victorious over Goliath.

Yet you believe that God has given you a promise,
Assurance that He sees you,
And will act in His perfect timing.
Just as He heard the cries Hannah and Ruth,
Did He hear you too?

Decisions…decisions little girl,
Which will it be?
I still whisper loudly that you are of little worth,
Yet He’s promised to never leave you, nor forsake you,
Even to work all things together for good.

So Susan…your future is hanging in the balance.
Will you have faith, believe and even trust Him,
For that which is yet unseen?
Or will I continue to blind you,
To that which your God can do in, through and for you?

By Susan Bunts
October 31, 2007

Tonight a memory from the past came hurling back to assault me…out of the blue. Something I hadn’t thought about in years. It didn’t take long… for those feelings of that wretched time to return.

But I just hate letting the bad guy win. Even when I watch a movie…I root for the good guy and good to triumph over evil. So even though I’m tempted to given in and follow that well worn easy path and believe my feelings…I don’t want to let Satan win. I want to see him defeated…go down hard in flaming, visible defeat.

This last weekend…I felt like God got a hold of me. Grabbed my by the lapels…and shook me…and said, “Girl…I can change your situation in a moment. Are you going to trust Me or not?”

Whenever there is a moment of a spiritual high…you can be sure that the enemy wants engage in a well timed…very personal attack…and indeed he has done that in recent days.

Yet…I desire to believe God. I want to trust Him and know with confidence that He will deliver me. To quote Beth Moore, “I’m believing God!”

1Nov2007

Of Little Worth

Posted in Believing God, Doubt, Faith, Healing, Trusting God, Unbelief by Susan Wachtel