Mean Girls

Posted in Beth Moore, Esther Bible Study, God's Holiness, Mean Girls, Sin by

When Beth uttered the words
“Mean Girls”
Without elaboration I knew exactly what she meant

Her words brought uncomfortable laughter
From the audience of women
Who discretely examined their own attire

Immediately came to mind
The names and faces of those women
Who display their wares freely for all to see

A mean girl has been blessed
With a beautiful, attractive body
And she believes that’s where her self-worth lies

A mean girl thinks “it’s all about me”
She allows you to be her friend
So long as you both agree

Provocatively dressing
Tempting men to look or even stray
To contemplate what it would be like to be with the “other woman”

Her speech is flirtatious
Prompting a man to think
That it’s him that she truly desires

When in fact
Nothing could be further from the truth
But he has willingly fallen into the snare of the deceiver

What about that teenage mean girl
Where are her parents
When she’s walking out the door

What kind of dad let’s his daughter dress that way
Knowing full well
Boys aren’t just thinking that she looks pretty

Where a mom’s natural desire
To protect her daughter
Teach her modesty and that true beauty is found in the inward spirit

Mean girls can be found anywhere
With cleavage prominently displayed
Short skirts revealing their shapely form

Lest you think
The mean girl is unaware
Of her effect on men

Don’t be naïve
Her dress is done with purpose
Her intent is to attract attention

Her power and drive
Her self esteem
Is rooted in her ability to make a man look

By Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 24, 2009

The above poem was inspired by Beth Moore’s study in Esther. In Session 3 Beth talks about how it’s hard to be a women in a mean world. Sometimes that mean world includes “mean girls” who are lurking and tempting our husbands, sons, brothers and friends with their provocative revealing dress. While I’d like to believe that there are no mean girls in church…at times it seems there isn’t a lot of difference between those in the church and those in the world. The other day I heard a quote that rang true. They said “where there is a low view of God…there is a low view of sin”. What was once viewed as sinful is no longer seen in the light of God’s holiness.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. – 1 Peter 3:3-4

My Darkest Hour

Posted in Eternal Vision, poem, Trusting God by


In my darkest hour
You are my bright and Morning Star

When my head hangs low
You are the lifter of my head

When tears fall I remember
One day you will wipe every tear from my eyes

Even when I feel alone
You are my Friend who will never leave, nor forsake me

When life leaves me burnt, devastated and scarred
You bring forth life, growth and renewal

From the depths of sin
You redeemed my soul

From the edge of destruction
You snatched me from the enemy’s hand

When I feel as if I can’t go on
You lead me through dark ravines and narrow canyons

When my foot slips on the dangerous precipice
You uphold and steady me on the path again

When weakness overtakes me
You strengthen and sustain me

When doubts assail me
You keep my mind stayed on Thee

When my circumstances demand an explanation
Your presence is all that I need

When nothing around me makes sense
I trust that Your eternal plan being worked out

When I am heavy laden
I go to the One who bids me to come for His burdens are light

When decisions demand an answer
I come to You for wisdom

When I am restless with uncertainty
Peace and comfort are found in You

When pain consumes me
I turn to the Great Physician

When the wait seems long
I will wait upon the Lord

When no one seems worthy of my trust
I will trust in the One whom the Father declared worthy

When my trials seem big
I will run to Him who is bigger still

When this lamb is lost and has wandered far away
I cry out to the Shepherd who will seek and find me

When death presses down on me
I look forward with eternal vision

Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 23, 2009

Dedicated to the many people who are bearing heavy burdens, where explanations are few. May you continue to trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…and cling to Him ever so tightly.

Unforgiveness Heavy Price

Posted in Cold Heart, Fellowship, Hurt, Offense, Unforgiveness by

My heart has turned cold
It’s hardened towards thee
Over a hurt perceived

What if the offense was intentional
What if you don’t care
What if the words “I’m sorry” never come

I know I should open my heart
Find the words to say
Restore fellowship with you once again

Yet my heart is reluctant
Unwilling to risk vulnerability
By giving voice to the pain

My heart has grown cold
It’s visible on my countenance
Effecting my thoughts and deeds

Oh Lord, I know this is wrong
Tender my heart
To Thy perfect will

My conscious is pricked by the words I read
Unforgiveness exacts a price
Heavier than I’m willing to pay

I want harmony and unity
With my fellow Christian
Fellowship restored with God and man

Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 16, 2009

The Path Not Chosen

Posted in Alzheimer's, Gayle Lorenat, Love by


On a path
She did not choose
Yet it will willed by God


Slowly
Eventually all
Would be taken from her


Even there
Blessings were found
In the midst of Alzheimer’s


Once unable
To openly express love
She unashamedly offers hugs and affection


Susan Bunts Wachtel
April 2009

While unpacking the remaining boxes from our move I discovered a writing tablet that I used to carry with me on my visits to see my mom. I discovered this poem that I had written just before her death. The exact date is unknown…but it was in late April 2008 shortly before her death.

My mother Gayle Lorenat feared Alzheimer’s because her sister had died from it. She saw its effects and the devastation first hand. I hated it because it took a smart, bright, proper woman…and robbed her of dignity. Yet at the end of her life…after six years of Alzheimer’s I had to admit…there were a few blessings from God in the midst. One of those blessings was that my mother who had never been one to be affectionate or say I love you was finally able to freely express love.


The picture above was taken of my mother, Gayle Lorenat shortly after we moved her into Brighton Gardens. She was more with it at that time and tried to give the appearance of normal. She had to wear a bracelet that would set off an alarm because she liked to “escape”. I called it her “LoJack” bracelet. She would walk away and have no idea how to get back. She was unable to communicate coherently.

Broken, Hurting Soul

Posted in Brokenness, Gary Peterson, Kindred Community Church, Sin by


Here I am
A sitting duck
Vulnerable
For that which so easily entangles me

I have sinned
Against God
And against man
Justifiably reproached by those who love me

I long to flee from sin
Say, “No!”
Turn my this ship around
But how

I haven’t the strength on my own
Where do I begin
How do I start
To turn my life around

I’ve tried…really I have
It seems like every door is closed
Slammed shut in my face
What am I supposed to do now

I don’t even know if I believe in God
But I do believe in the devil
For he has deceived me
I believed his lies…hook, line and sinker

Drugs and alcohol
They were supposed to numb the pain
Help me feel good about who I am
Make me forget about everything I’m not

But before I knew it…sin took hold of me
What kind of son betrays his own mother
The one who loved me
Always freely gave

I went from the occasional
“Little white lie”
Before long
My heart grew cold and calloused

Now I’m
Trapped by my iniquity
With ease I’ve hurt and used
Anyone in my path

Society tells me
I’ve served my time
Paid the price
For the wrong I’ve done

Now I’ve been set free
I want to change…I really do
People tell me they are praying
Not sure what that means…but please don’t stop

Yes…I desperately need God’s help
But I also need
A helping hand
From real live flesh and blood

Someone who understands
Knows what I’m feeling
Encountered those demons within
That I’m fighting with all my might

Someone to hold me accountable
Show me how to get along
What to do…what not to do
How to live in the day to day world

Someone who understands
What seems like baby steps
Is a giant leap
For this broken, hurting soul

Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 10, 2009

When I read the first lines of this poem to my husband Chris he thought, “Oh no…what has Susan done that she needs to confess?” But I assured him it wasn’t my story I was writing about…but instead a compilation of some of those broken, hurting souls we know. It is by the grace of God…I’ve been spared the wayward path of some.

But we all know some of these people…family or friends whose lives have spiraled out of control. Or maybe…just maybe…it’s me that God has delivered from my wayward past. May God help these broken, hurting souls.

Thank you to those who have a heart to help. Those who offer a helping hand, prayer, wise counsel from God’s word…and tough love. This poem is dedicated to Gary Peterson who heads the Prison Ministry at Kindred Community Church.

Missing

Posted in Missing Person, Patrick Bunts, poem by


I tell people that you are missing
The truth of the matter is
I have no idea what’s become of you

Until “that day”
I had always thought highly of you
Believed that you were upstanding and hardworking

Then the truth of your character
Was revealed
The depths of your depravity became clear

After that
I didn’t want to have much to do with you
The occasionally obligatory phone call sufficed

Because of our mom
We had to have some contact
But then you faded away

Has it been five or six years now
I forget
Time and events all seem to run together

Honestly I found myself angry
Resentful
That you had nothing to do with our mother

No cards
No phone calls
No checking in to see how she was doing

Was it guilt that drove you away
Or because the well had dried up
It was no longer profitable for you

Well, your mom has been dead
For almost a year now
I have no way to let you know

Or are you still out there
Anonymously
But somehow still in the know

It’s hard to imagine
That the one who resorted to dishonesty
Would not seek his fair share of what remained

That’s why I fear
Wonder daily
What’s happened to you

Did you cross the wrong person this time
Reap the consequences
Of the depths to which you’ve sunk

Is your body lying in a shallow grave
Hidden…never be discovered
Will your fate ever be known

Are your remains in a morgue
The name John Doe
Tied to your toe

Are you imprisoned
Has the law finally caught up with you
Are you paying society its due

Or are you far away
In some distant land
Hoping to avoid the penalty for your wrong doing

There is not a day
That I don’t think about you
Worry and wonder what’s become of you

I don’t know where to begin
Or what to do
To find you

The search I paid for
Came up fruitless
All traces of you disappeared a few years ago

Only God knows what’s become of you
Dear brother, I pray that the Reveler of mysteries
Will reveal what’s happened to you

Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 11, 2009

Sin’s Perfect Sacrifice

Posted in Bible Study Fellowship, Forgiveness, Jesus Christ, Sacrifice, Sin by


In Your word
I learned of the sacrificial system
Instituted by Holy God
Who cannot look upon sin

When sin entered the world
Our sinless nature was changed
Try as I might…no amount of good works
Can save me from my sin

In my sin nature
I miss the mark
Transgress when I intentionally violate Your law
I descend into iniquity when I called evil good

Sacrifices seem so bloody…so brutal
Repulsed at the thought
Of an innocent dying
For the sins of another

The high priest of old
Laid his hands upon the sin offering
Confessed the sins of the nation
The sacrificial animal was killed…its blood sprinkled

What seems so brutal
Was the provision of a holy, loving God
To cover sin
Restore relationship with sinful man

Thankful to be living
When the sacrifice which cleansed me outwardly
Has been replaced by Christ’s perfect sacrifice
He died once, for all…and took my sin away

Perhaps I can imagine
Laying my hands upon Jesus’ head
Confessing my transgressions and iniquity
See my Savior afflicted and nailed to the cross

Would sin lose its grip on me
Would I recognize the high cost of my redemption
Would I realize that the only contribution I made to my salvation
Was the sin which Christ chose to bear

A plan so amazing
Conceived before the foundations of the world
My name was written with everlasting ink
In the Lamb’s Book of Life

By Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 4, 2009

Dedicated to Terri…thank you for so faithfully preaching the full counsel of God’s word!

Somewhere There is SomeOne

Posted in Allan Cason, Paige Petes, Pamela Edwards, Somewhere There is SomeOne, Sylvia Cotton, The Sylvia Cotton Singers by


Today’s technology never ceases to amaze me…especially the internet. While still a novice…even this Facebook rookie has been able to reconnect with folks that have seemingly slipped away.

To my surprise and delight I found Allan Cason on Facebook and added him as a friend. Allan used to go to Kindred Community Church and was part of the worship team and choir during our early years. When writing on Allan’s Facebook wall…I inquired if the singing group that he is a part of, The Sylvia Cotton Singers, had a CD out yet. Much to my delight and surprise the answer was yes.

Not only did Allan respond that The Sylvia Cotton Singers had released their first CD, “Somewhere There is SomeOne”, but he graciously offered to send me one. He didn’t have to ask twice for my address.

During the years that Sylvia Cotton, Allan Cason, Pamela Edwards and Paige Petes were part of the worship team…I so enjoyed their music. So it was with much excitement and anticipation that looked forward to hearing their CD.

After telling my husband Chris about The Sylvia Cotton Singers…I put the CD in. I wasn’t disappointed…it was definitely worth the wait.

There is so much I love about the CD, “Somewhere There is SomeOne”. It has a smooth jazz sound…and the lyrics are very God centered and biblically sound. Sylvia, Allan, Pamela and Paige love the Lord Jesus…their love and heart for worship come through in the music. It’s very relaxing. But some of the songs had my husband Chris and me swaying to the music. There are times you’ve just got to dance and sing along.

The lyrics, which were written by Sylvia Cotton, focus on Jesus…honor and glorify Him. In a sense…I almost found them meditative on the person of Jesus Christ…who He is and His attributes. Sylvia’s talents also include music composition. She wrote both the music and lyrics. Wonderful job Sylvia!

Blessed by God with singing talent…Sylvia, Allan, Pamela and Paige did a wonderful job on their first CD. I hope there are many more to come if the Lord tarries.

I’ll be playing this CD when I want to relax, de-stress or just plain worship the Lord and remember Who He is.

Thank you dear ones for sharing…and congratulations on your first CD. It was marvelous!

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Letting Go

Posted in poem by


So much of life
Is learning to let go

Letting go of people
Who will leave long before I’m ready to say goodbye

Letting go of expectations
Of how I think someone should act

Letting go of my will
Accepting God’s will for my life

Letting go of a dream
Without letting go of hope

Letting go of sorrows
Putting my hope and trust in God

Letting go of my way
Choosing to put others first

Letting go of my sin
Remembering I am dead to sin and alive to Christ

Letting go of bitterness and hurt
Applying the healing balm of forgiveness

Letting go of envy
Filled with gratitude for what the Lord has given me

Letting go of hatred
Walking in love

Letting go of the past
Living in the present

Letting go of taking the easy way
Willing to endure for that which is of eternal value

Letting go of fear
Taking courage in the Lord’s presence

Letting go of failure
Believing that God will redeem my past

Letting go demands for deliverance on my schedule
Instead praying for the grace to endure

Letting go of faithlessness
Asking and believing God for the impossible

Letting go of my timetable
Trusting God and His perfecting timing

Letting go of “Why God?”
Asking “What will You do through this Lord?”

Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 27, 2009

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There Must Be A Rainbow

Posted in Believe God, Chris Wachtel, Faithfulness of God, Poen, Rainbow by



I look up

Find the sky is filled with rain clouds

As far as my eye can see

Overhead dark threatening clouds

Large rain drops start to fall

I’d best take cover

But my eyes are fixed

On the strange golden glow

Surrounding those once ominous clouds

The glow of the sun

Cannot be hid

By even the fiercest storm

I begin to search the sky

For when the sun appears in the midst of the storm

My heart tells me…there must be a rainbow up there somewhere

By Susan Bunts Wachtel

January 23, 2009

Dedicated to my husband, Chris Wachtel. Through the stormy, cloudy times…may we always have hope and look expectantly for the rainbow. Not looking for a sign like a wicked generation, but one who is assured that God is with us, knowing He is faithful and true. Confident that He will deliver us in His time, according to His perfect plan.

Yesterday when leaving work the sky was filled with rain clouds…but there was a beautiful golden glow. I looked up and just knew that up there, somewhere, there was a rainbow.

Choose This Day

Posted in Bible, God, Jesus Christ, Salvation, Truth, Uncategorized, World's Wisdom by

The world tells me
Be open and tolerant
Accept all points of view
All are of equal worth

But God tells me
Narrow is the path that leads to life
Salvation is found in no other name
Than Jesus Christ

The world tells me
Just do the right thing
Encourages me to feel good about myself
Then I’ll be at peace and at one with the world

But God tells me
Before I came to Christ
I was at enmity with God
In me lies no good thing

The world tells me
The only real sin is to be judgmental
That I should live as I please…put myself first
Without concern about heaven or hell because there is no God

But God warns me
Some have a form of godliness, without power
They are lovers of self
And do not love God

The world tells me
It’s wrong to say Jesus is the only way
Surely all paths lead to God
Who am I to tell someone else they are wrong

But God tells me
That Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life
If I confess with my mouth, believe with my heart
I will be saved!

How can I withhold the truth
From those who are lost and perishing
Blinded by the enemy
Deceived…and believing a lie

There are no second chances
No purgatory to pay for my sin
No good work that will save me
Except one

Only God’s perfect sacrifice
The atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross
Testify I must
Of His redeeming love

by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 21, 2009

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Sunset in California

Posted in Carlsbad, Chris Wachtel, Sunset, Vacation by











God is a Painter of unparallel magnificence…He was having a wonderful time this evening with His creation.

On a mini vacation in Carlsbad, California for the weekend. We got some amazing shots…especially of this magnificent sunset. More pictures to follow from our trip. As we were driving to the beach I was in a hurry to get there so I could get my camera out to capture the sunset…and it did not disappoint me. But I was struck with the thought that one day…there will be no more sunsets or sunrises.

My husband Chris Wachtel…was actually willingly photographed a couple of times this weekend. While it looks unreal…the picture is real…no touch ups from Photoshop. With those handsome blue eyes…what girl wouldn’t want to marry this handsome fellow?


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The Previousness of God

Posted in poem, Previousness of God by

The previousness of God
At work in my present
Revealed in my future
He is working all things together for good
For this one who loves the Lord

At His appointed time
He turns wrong into right
Bad into good
Weaving the circumstances of my life
Into the tapestry of His eternal plan

No need to fear
Or waste time with anxiety
Instead I am called to trust Him
When no answers are forthcoming
Or when I don’t understand

Oh to glorify Him
With my life
Testify to the goodness of God
In all circumstances
That is my heartfelt plea

By Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 13, 2009

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Because

Posted in Kindred Community Church, poem, Psalm 23, The Lord is my Shepherd by

Because the Lord is my Shepherd
I have…
Joy in my sorrow
Comfort in my pain
Faith in my doubt
Light in the darkness
Peace in the storms
Hope in my trials
Strength in my weakness
Forgiveness of my sin
A never forsaking Friend

by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 11, 2009

Dedicated to special friends for whom I am most grateful. Love you and praying for you dear ones.

Because

Posted in Kindred Community Church, poem, Psalm 23, The Lord is my Shepherd by

Because the Lord is my Shepherd
I have…
Joy in my sorrow
Comfort in my pain
Faith in my doubt
Light in the darkness
Peace in the storms
Hope in my trials
Strength in my weakness
Forgiveness of my sin
A never forsaking Friend

by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 11, 2009

Dedicated to special friends for whom I am most grateful. Love you and praying for you dear ones.

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Keeper of the Memories

Posted in Family, Mementos, poem, Treasures by


I think this is what it must feel like

To be old

I hold in my hands

Mementos and treasures

To no one but me

Shoe boxes filled with cards

Expressing sentiments and well wishes

From friends and family so long ago

I trace your writing with my finger

Hoping to connect once again

The pictures from old

Of family I never knew

All those who loved you

Have long since passed away

I feel it my obligation to remember

When I see your smile

It causes me to wonder what made you to laugh

You had such serious eyes

What hurt, pain and thoughts

Were burdening your soul

You were a real live person

Who laughed and cried

Who loved and hated

A daughter, sister, wife, mother and someone’s best friend

A son, brother, husband, father and someone’s closest pal

By God’s providence

We are related though we may have never met

I wish I could reach across time

Tell you that I treasure the memory of you

It is with care hold your words and pictures from so long ago

As I hold these treasures from the past

I feel such profound sadness…I want to weep

Through my tears I wonder what will become of my life

What will I do that really matters

Who will remember me

Susan Bunts Wachtel

January 3, 2009

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The Morning Report

Posted in Condemnation, poem, Salvation, Satan, The Enemy by


Condemnation reporting for duty
Master, how grand
We’ve been given another day
To try and thwart God’s revealed plan

To try to keep one more human soul
From receiving salvation through Jesus Christ
To beat down and render His believers ineffective
With the baggage of their own sin

Let me tell you about yesterday’s successes
We have those mired in the muck of their own sin
Blinded to the fact that there is no one righteous
Not understanding that Christ died for them anyway

We have one who calls himself Christian
But temptation achieved great success
Causing him to turn away and fall into sin
Because he failed to take every thought captive

Now instead of sharing the Gospel message
He’s preoccupied with covering his own sin
Lest he be called a hypocrite
Justifying why he chose to do that which God declared sinful

With the holidays upon us
Opportunities abound
Christian thinks she will share the Gospel message
With family and friends yet unsaved

But we reminded her that they are unworthy sinners
Undeserving to receive forgiveness and salvation
Through the sacrificial atoning death
Of that Babe born in Bethlehem, lo so many years ago

We will provoke irritation and disgust
In self-righteousness she won’t want to have anything to do with them
Much less walk in love and be quick to forgive
She’ll abandon her plan to share the Gospel with the ones bound for hell

Instead she’ll be quick to condemn and slow to pray
Focused on the sinner and their sin
Oblivious to the real enemy
The hater of every human soul

By Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 1, 2009

May we be mindful that there is only one true enemy. He desires that we be focused on the sin not the sinner, so disgusted and put off that we won’t think them worthy of sharing the Gospel. In doing so we walk in the sin of pride and self righteousness.

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