Category Archives: Trusting God

Fleshly Wisdom

Posted in Obeying God, Surrender, Trusting God, Walk by Faith by

You know…there are times I think God must just be weary of dealing with me. Positively weary! Honestly…sometimes I’m weary of being dealt with. Goodness knows I need it. It seems like when I actually “get it” and understand what God wants…that lasts for about 20 seconds…and then I’m back to being a bonehead again.

As I look at my actions and words over the past few days…I wonder…do I live my life as if I have a relationship with the living God who loves me and sent His Son to die for me? Specifically in the area of going to God with questions and asking for help when I desire wisdom and discernment.

I’m afraid to admit it…but I find I like to get my answers from someone who has flesh on…who I can see face to face.

I acknowledge that when I’m asking a person…something that only God knows the answer to…I’m getting answers and feedback that is lacking. Sometimes woefully lacking. Also I can manipulate the situation based on what information I share. That manipulation may not even be intentional…just a predisposition or prejudice to view my situation in a certain manner.

But goodness knows I can’t do that with God.

So today…when I found myself asking a friend for advice…I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. God saying to me, “Susan, why are you going to her for advice? Why aren’t you coming to Me? Asking Me for discernment and wisdom and help in your situation?”

Why do I first tend to go to humans for wisdom, instead of God?

When I go to God…I need to quite my spirit…and put some thought into what I’m asking or want. As I draw close to God…I see that perhaps that which I desire is not of His will…and then I’m faced with the decision to surrender or not? Am I ready and willing to state, “Thy will be done”?

God knows the truth…He knows the situation intimately…and people involved. I can’t fool Him or spin my story in a way that is favorable to me. And I may not get an answer right away. There may be a delay…and it may appear as if God is not going to answer. That requires that I wait and trust Him and His timing and His will and His wisdom.

Thus…the human answer seems easier and more desirable in the short run. The problem is…it’s based on limited finite human knowledge. When I have my ear tuned to man’s wisdom…I usually make poor decisions. Especially when I’m listening to my own voice unchecked by the word of God.

So Jesus…I bring before you my situation…my dilemma. I confess…I don’t know what to do…I don’t know what’s going on…both in me and others? I don’t know what step to take next…or not to take? I don’t know what to say or do. I don’t know if I should shut up and let go and let God? Or if I should persevere…and demonstrate great faith? I don’t know. But Jesus…You know. You are omniscient…You know each of us intimately. You planned our lives from before the foundation of the world. You know the good plan that You have for me. You know that which is according to Your perfect will. So Jesus…I ask You to give me wisdom. Help me to have an ear to hear You. To follow Your guidance and direction. Help me to surrender and obey. Help me to trust You and be patient…to believe despite what’s in front of me. Help me to walk in love…and think of the other person’s good before I think of myself. When I’m frustrated and want to give up…help me instead to bring the situation and person before Your throne in prayer. Jesus…I’m sorry for not trusting You fully and leaning on my own understanding and seeking my will before Yours. Help me to love others more than I love myself or want to get my way. Thank You for forgiving me of all my sins…and washing me in the precious blood of the Lamb. Help me to make decisions and live my life in such a manner that I bring You glory. I come to You in Jesus name…Amen!

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Only Believe

Posted in Believing God, Faith, Only Believe, Sight Walk, Trusting God, Walk by Faith by


If the words had been audible…God’s message to me couldn’t have been clearer. “Susan, only believe!”

As I studied this week’s Bible Study Fellowship lesson I saw example after example of people who demonstrated great faith. From the men who brought their paralytic friend to Jesus so that he might be healed. To the woman who had an issue of blood for 12 years. Jairus had mission to have Jesus do the unthinkable…bring his dead daughter back to life. Even the blind men came to Jesus believing that He was able to restore their sight. In their joy and excitement over the miracle that Jesus had just performed…they went out and did the very thing Jesus commanded them not to do…they blabbed about what the Messiah had done to everyone they encountered.

Do I have great faith…the kind of faith that motivates God to answer my prayers? Faith to believe that He is able to do that which is impossible with man? Do I have the kind of faith…that brings Him glory because it shines forth…even before it’s answered? Do I have such joy and excitement that I can not be contained and must share the good news of Jesus Christ with everyone I encounter?

The example that has always touched me the most personal…is the woman with an issue of blood. Think of it…in the Jewish society…this woman was considered unclean. She would not have been able to worship at the temple. Anyone who came into contact with her would have been considered unclean so she would have been shunned, she couldn’t even have normal relations with her husband. On top of the social aspect…this condition must have left run down to the point of exhaustion. There were no iron pills to fix anemia. She couldn’t take an Advil to help alleviate any pain…her condition only got worse and worse…and now she was broke and bleeding still.

Jesus was her last ditch effort. Perhaps she had heard the stories of ones before her…the lepers that were cleansed, the sick that were healed by His touch or by His word, the blind who were made to see. There were even whispers of a storm on the Galilean Sea that stopped in an instant as Jesus said the words, “Be still”. Surely this man must be God.

She believed…she knew that all she needed to do is reach out her hand. Even if she just touched the hem of His garment…just that alone would be enough to heal her, end her suffering and misery….restore her life as it once was. But once you’ve been touched by the Savior’s healing touch…your life will never be the same.

These people had faith. A faith that was unstoppable. A faith that would not be discouraged, pushed down or ignored. A faith that tuned out the naysayers and loud voices of doubt and unbelief. A faith where their eyes were focused on Jesus. A faith that knew the scriptures about what God had done for those whom He called His own.

Faith is one of the key areas that I struggle with. It’s never been an issue of whether God is able to do that which I’m praying about…but will He? That’s where the rubber meets the road…and where I’ve gone off track.

Something about “have faith”…just seems like you either have it or you don’t. And when you don’t…where do you get that infusion of faith and how long with it last?

But “Only Believe”…now that is something that requires me to have a living active faith. Something that I’m choosing to participate in. I’m choosing to believe God.

Faith is the avenue by which God chooses to answer our prayers. When Jesus is my aim and focus…trials and tribulations fade to the background. I know that He is the invincible and mighty God…who is more than able to accomplish what concerns me today.

Will I choose this day to “walk by faith”? Or will I choose to have “sight walking faith”?

God…Your word tells us that You give us the measure of faith to believe. So Jesus…I’m asking for trial and tribulation breaking faith. I’m asking for Jesus vision faith. I’m asking for faith that will bring You glory. I’m asking for faith that breaks down walls and perseveres until prayers are answered. I’m asking for unwavering faith…that never trembles or doubts when confronted with the impossible.

Jesus…I’m asking for the faith so that I may, “Only Believe”. Amen!

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Defined

Posted in Bible Study Fellowship, Future, Hope, Pastor Philip De Courcy, Trusting God by

“Susan…are you going to be defined by your past…or by your future?”

That was God’s challenge to me following an evening of wrestling with God. I was assailed by thoughts as I listened to Pastor Philip De Courcy’s message at Kindred’s recent Men’s Retreat. He talked about among other things priorities…with time and family…and the most importantly…God.

Upon hearing this I was reminded of my own poor choices for many years. Perhaps it was because I had worked late this evening that I was especially sensitive to God’s gentle reminder. You see there was time in my life it was not uncommon for me to work 10, 11, 12 hour days. I didn’t give it a second thought. After all I wanted to do my job with excellence.

But God brought me to an end of my misplaced priorities. After doing what I thought was a job well…at the end of the day…it counted for precious little. While I was fast at work…my bosses and co-workers were home with families…living a balanced life.

I on other hand exchanged a spreadsheet for relationships. I exchanged preparing a report to studying God’s word and growing deep in my relationship with the Lord. I exchanged the eternal for temporary praise from people.

Hindsight is always 20/20. If only I knew then…what I know now…I might have avoided some of those pitfalls.

I then stared down the rabbit trail of why. Why I was so foolish and why did I make such bad choices. I got to thinking about my past. What had shaped me….what drove me. That’s much more than what I want to get in to here and now. But let it suffice…that life can be very painful.

Not only did feel the weight of my own sin…but also from those who had sinned against me. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed about the prospect of my life changing…I cried out to God. “I can do something about the present…I can do something about the future…through Your power, guidance, wisdom and strength. But I can’t do a blessed thing about the past. I feel so scared and broken.

Then God said, “Susan…yes you can do something about your past. You can let it go. Let go of those wrongs done to you. Let them go. I’ve got them securely in my hands…and I’ll handle it. Just as you received my forgiveness in my Son Jesus Christ…so too…you can give Me this. You gave me your sins…and I washed you white as snow. Give me your hurts and wrongs done to you. Give me your loneliness and pain and sorrow…I’ve got you covered. You see I do have good plan for you…a perfect plan I’m working out in you. My timeframe is a little different than yours…but you can trust me on this.”

God went on to bring it full circle…and showed me that in the past…I was focused on my past…and let it define my present. I had no vision of my future. And then I was born again…and behold all things were new.

Only now am I beginning to grasp a vision of His future plans for me. My victory…is not solely in heaven…but in here an now.

“Behold I have made all things new. You are a new creation in Christ. The old things have passed away. I have given you a future and hope. Susan…will you take hold that hope that is in Christ Jesus your Lord?”

Yes Lord I will…help me please.

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Of Little Worth

Posted in Believing God, Doubt, Faith, Healing, Trusting God, Unbelief by


You haven’t thought about me for years now,
Have you, little girl?
For years I dominated your life,
Made you feel worthless, like nothing,
Even wanting to die.

Then you accepted Christ,
Sixteen years ago.
And He began to heal your wounds.
You thought of me less and less,
Until finally years would go by with nary a thought.


You learned to let go,
Forgive…even when you didn’t understand,
Made your life about your present,
Trusting God,
For eternal security and a place in heaven.


You’ve worked diligently to prove yourself,
To feel like something of worth,
Then tonight I slipped in,
Just a thought,
A reminder of your past.


Will I lure you once again,
Into darkness and depression?
Or will you renew your mind,
In Christ Jesus,
Mindful that you are a new creation in Him?


Before…I had you in my hand.
Then Christ Jesus freed you…
From all your past.
That’s when I declared war,
After all…I’m the enemy of your soul.


Will you follow your feelings?
Or believe God’s word,
And His power within?
Sure your salvation is secure,
But your present is being worked out.


I urge you to follow the easy path of emotions.
Dare not trust God for a miracle.
It’s been forty-eight years that you’ve waited,
Need I remind…you’re no Abraham and Sarah,
Nor David victorious over Goliath.


Yet you believe that God has given you a promise,
Assurance that He sees you,
And will act in His perfect timing.
Just as He heard the cries Hannah and Ruth,
Did He hear you too?


Decisions…decisions little girl,
Which will it be?
I still whisper loudly that you are of little worth,
Yet He’s promised to never leave you, nor forsake you,
Even to work all things together for good.

So Susan…your future is hanging in the balance.
Will you have faith, believe and even trust Him,
For that which is yet unseen?
Or will I continue to blind you,
To that which your God can do in, through and for you?


By Susan Bunts
October 31, 2007


Tonight a memory from the past came hurling back to assault me…out of the blue. Something I hadn’t thought about in years. It didn’t take long… for those feelings of that wretched time to return.

But I just hate letting the bad guy win. Even when I watch a movie…I root for the good guy and good to triumph over evil. So even though I’m tempted to given in and follow that well worn easy path and believe my feelings…I don’t want to let Satan win. I want to see him defeated…go down hard in flaming, visible defeat.

This last weekend…I felt like God got a hold of me. Grabbed my by the lapels…and shook me…and said, “Girl…I can change your situation in a moment. Are you going to trust Me or not?”

Whenever there is a moment of a spiritual high…you can be sure that the enemy wants engage in a well timed…very personal attack…and indeed he has done that in recent days.

Yet…I desire to believe God. I want to trust Him and know with confidence that He will deliver me. To quote Beth Moore, “I’m believing God!”

Of Little Worth

Posted in Believing God, Doubt, Faith, Healing, Trusting God, Unbelief by

You haven’t thought about me for years now,
Have you, little girl?
For years I dominated your life,
Made you feel worthless, like nothing,
Even wanting to die.

Then you accepted Christ,
Sixteen years ago.
And He began to heal your wounds.
You thought of me less and less,
Until finally years would go by with nary a thought.

You learned to let go,
Forgive…even when you didn’t understand,
Made your life about your present,
Trusting God,
For eternal security and a place in heaven.

You’ve worked diligently to prove yourself,
To feel like something of worth,
Then tonight I slipped in,
Just a thought,
A reminder of your past.

Will I lure you once again,
Into darkness and depression?
Or will you renew your mind,
In Christ Jesus,
Mindful that you are a new creation in Him?

Before…I had you in my hand.
Then Christ Jesus freed you…
From all your past.
That’s when I declared war,
After all…I’m the enemy of your soul.

Will you follow your feelings?
Or believe God’s word,
And His power within?
Sure your salvation is secure,
But your present is being worked out.

I urge you to follow the easy path of emotions.
Dare not trust God for a miracle.
It’s been forty-eight years that you’ve waited,
Need I remind…you’re no Abraham and Sarah,
Nor David victorious over Goliath.

Yet you believe that God has given you a promise,
Assurance that He sees you,
And will act in His perfect timing.
Just as He heard the cries Hannah and Ruth,
Did He hear you too?

Decisions…decisions little girl,
Which will it be?
I still whisper loudly that you are of little worth,
Yet He’s promised to never leave you, nor forsake you,
Even to work all things together for good.

So Susan…your future is hanging in the balance.
Will you have faith, believe and even trust Him,
For that which is yet unseen?
Or will I continue to blind you,
To that which your God can do in, through and for you?

By Susan Bunts
October 31, 2007

Tonight a memory from the past came hurling back to assault me…out of the blue. Something I hadn’t thought about in years. It didn’t take long… for those feelings of that wretched time to return.

But I just hate letting the bad guy win. Even when I watch a movie…I root for the good guy and good to triumph over evil. So even though I’m tempted to given in and follow that well worn easy path and believe my feelings…I don’t want to let Satan win. I want to see him defeated…go down hard in flaming, visible defeat.

This last weekend…I felt like God got a hold of me. Grabbed my by the lapels…and shook me…and said, “Girl…I can change your situation in a moment. Are you going to trust Me or not?”

Whenever there is a moment of a spiritual high…you can be sure that the enemy wants engage in a well timed…very personal attack…and indeed he has done that in recent days.

Yet…I desire to believe God. I want to trust Him and know with confidence that He will deliver me. To quote Beth Moore, “I’m believing God!”

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Take Peace

Posted in Confession, Foot of the Cross, Peace, Surrender, Trusting God, Word of God by

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” – John 14:27

This past weekend when visiting my friend Ruth…I realized how much I lack the very thing I experienced while at her home. From the moment I walked in…a sense of peace enveloped me. It was so recognizable that I felt as if I could reach out and touch it. When I commented about it to Ruth…she mentioned that the peace in their home was God answering their prayers and desire to have peace reign in their hearts and home.

Last week I felt like I had bit of a meltdown…a major crisis of my faith. On Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church…I had the overwhelming impression from God, “Susan, I want you to meet Me at the foot of the cross. We have some business to take care of.”

I am most fortunate…because I can actually walk to the foot of a cross our church property. While symbolic…in certain respects it is very powerful in bringing me into the presence of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That outward symbol is not something I need every time…but I surely did this time. Praise God…it was available to me.

When I asked my precious friend Danita if she would walk to the cross with me…I was so relieved when she said yes. We chatted as we walked up the road. Amazingly we only encountered a little mud on the path left over from the prior day’s rain. But the steep hill you climb up to get to the cross was dry and we were able to navigate it with ease. I just love the walking up to the cross. It’s so peaceful and quiet. A big freeway lies below…but you would never know it with quiet that surrounds you.

When we reached the cross…Danita and I looked down at our church…and we chatted some more. We talked about God’s faithfulness to our church and marveled at what He is doing. I shared a little bit with Danita about my struggle and asked if she would pray with me.

“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” – Matthew 18:20

I could feel God’s presence and it didn’t take long for the tears to flow as I confessed my lack of faith and desperation for God to intervene in my situation. I found that when I spoke the truth of God’s word…I was comforted and the tears stopped. Yet I was broken. Precious Danita prayed too…and her gentle and understanding words brought me much comfort. Thank you Jesus for bringing just the right person to accompany me on my trip to the cross.

I very relieved after that…and God ministered to my heart the rest of the day. I thought I was done with God taking me to task regarding this episode. But I was wrong. Thankfully…when I need correction He deals with me in small doses that I can handle. A little bit at a time.

Today’s lesson was peace. Even though I dealt with the issue my failing faith I didn’t see the outworking actions and consequences that remained. As I doubt God and who He is and the truth and reliability of His word…then I want to be in control of my life. I seek the counsel and wisdom of man…not God and His word.

There is a fine line…because if I’m speaking with a Christian rooted and grounded in the word of God…I may receive godly counsel. But I may receive man’s watered down version of God’s word instead of the powerful word of God. That which is able to change lives and change people. That which is able to save the souls of men from hell. Why wouldn’t I go directly to the source?

When I’m anxious and trying to be in control of my life…I have no peace. I’m trying to keep all plates spinning in the air. Then they start crashing in…one by one. Suddenly all around me everything is shattered, broken and jagged. It will hurt me when I step on it or try to walk away. Gee wiz…when, oh when, will I ever learn?

God impressed upon me the verse from John 14:27…where Jesus tells His disciples that He will give them His peace. He gave it to them and He will give it to me too.

Give. Give…if someone gives me something…I need to take it. I need to receive it. If my hands are full…and someone offers me something more valuable…won’t I set down that which is of little worth? Gladly and pick up that which is of lasting value from One who loves me.

So why am I not taking the peace that Jesus is offering me?

What am I holding on to instead? Why? What lies of the enemy am I believing? Even if I’m in the midst of circumstances I don’t want to be in and pray for God to change them…isn’t it better to have peace in the midst of those circumstances?

But of course there is price…it means I have to be prayer. Hand over my circumstances. Surrender my will to God. Chance the unknown for that which I can never fully achieve. Why would I think that God would call me to something that would not have a price or a sacrifice? My gain, my reward for trusting Jesus may not be in the here and now. It may be later…and it may be in heaven. But it surly does have its residual rewards…like peace. I pay an infinitesimally small price compared to what Jesus paid on the cross to buy me that peace.

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.’ – Jeremiah 2:13

Now that is an apt description of what I’m doing. I’m trying to dig my own well…only to find it dry or muddy or filled with brackish water. And I wonder why I still thirst?

Jesus wants to offer me a fresh endless flowing river of peace. Something that will quench my thirst and wash me clean. Now why wouldn’t I choose that?

I thank God that nothing is lost in God’s economy and that He is able to use my experiences and failures to help encourage others to not following down the same path. A path that will only cause pain and hurt…and possibly destruction if I remain on the wrong path. I’m so glad to know that He can use it for good.

But for once…no more than once…consistently I desire for me to choose to live according to His word and that my choices might be an example on doing it the right way according to God’s word and by the power of the Holy Spirit within me.

So Jesus…I give You over this mess of my life and my poor choices, my lack of faith and my failures. I ask You to please take it from me. Please exchange it for that which I can not do on my own. I ask You to give me wisdom…and fill me with Your love and with Your peace. Help me in my circumstances. Give me Your Living Water and I will lay down my broken, dirty, muddy cup. Jesus, You were with Danita and me at the foot of the cross. You heard my prayers…I give them over to You. My life and my situation is in Your hands…I’m asking You to work it out according to Your perfect plan. Dare I even ask for a miracle in this? Yes I do…knowing that You alone are able…more than able to accomplish what concerns me today. Praise God. It’s in Jesus name I pray…Amen!

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My Dear Brothers & Sisters in Christ

Posted in Cling Loosely to Things That Are Fleeting, Hold on to Jesus, Kindred Community Church, Pastor Chuck Obremski, Pastor Philip De Courcy, Trusting God by

We a Kindred Community Church are on the eve of the installation ceremony for our new Sr. Pastor, Philip De Courcy. We are most grateful for God’s faithfulness and provision in bringing us a man of God who is faithful to preach the full counsel of God’s word.

Unfortunately in so many churches…all one hears are feel good messages that are preached with the intent to ensure that the parishioners will return next week, not to hold them accountable to the standards of God’s word and keep them from sinning. Churches have forgotten the primary mission is for the equipping of the saints so that they can go into all the world and share the Gospel Message. To equip the saints God’s word must be preached.

“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12

Only God’s word has the power to convict men of sin, cleanse our heart, mind, soul and spirit. Those churches that preach with the aim of reaching the “seeker sensitive” crowd are missing the boat on two areas. One they are failing to instruct the body of Christ with our only standard…God’s word. Secondly…we have bought the lie of the enemy when we fail to preach God’s word. Those of us who are Christians know that it was God’s word that convicted us sin or comforted our souls and drew us to God. When we hear God’s word, we are giving the Holy Spirit tools to work with. Scriptures that He will bring back to remembrance. Unless we purposely seek out God’s word we will likely not hear it in the world as we travel in our everyday lives.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.” – John 14:26

Think about it dear ones. The one thing that the church has to offer is the Word of God and when we fail to preach it from our pulpit on Sunday morning, we are tossing aside the one thing both believers and unbelievers won’t hear in the sin filled world.

There is an abundance of resources for Christians these days….all the more reason that we will be without excuse when we stand before the throne room of God. But generally you have to seek them out by turning to the Christian radio station, or TV station, or website, book, magazine or music.

On occasion you’ll catch a whiff of something Christian in our secular world…when gets by the ever so careful sensors. More often than not…it’s something that is intended to mock Christians or put them down for being so narrow minded.

That’s why we at Kindred are praising God…because our God was faithful in bringing us a man who will preach God’s word through expository preaching. He won’t lay aside those passages that will make people feel uncomfortable as they sit in their pews.

I have received some comments and communication from folks at Pastor Philip De Courcy’s former church, Emmanuel Baptist Church in Toledo, Ohio when they stumbled across this blog. First may I say that we at Kindred Community Church are in prayer for your church. We have been since the announcement was made that Pastor Philip was coming to Kindred. We are praying for God’s leading and guidance as He raises up and brings the next man of God whom He has called to serve at Emmanuel Baptist for this time.

We know first hand what it is to loose a Pastor…albeit God called Pastor Chuck Obremski home. Instead He called Pastor Philip to a new church. The whys are wherefores of God’s plan we likely never know fully this side of heaven. But it is important that we trust God in His goodness, wisdom and timing.

It has been evident from the comments made that the people are Emmanuel Baptist are hurting and saddened to see their Pastor depart. It is very hard to let go of great preaching, isn’t it? We know that because at Kindred we still have an abundance of Pastor Chuck’s sermons that we listen to. Many people there continue to hand out CDs from our beloved Pastor.

But praise God for the resources that He has made available. I’m sure that before long Pastor Philip’s messages will be available for download on our churches website. In the meantime if you desire to continue to hear his messages, I encourage you to contact our Audio Ministry at Kindred and request to receive the sermons on CD. If you come out California way…you know that you have a place to call home in Kindred Community Church.

When God called our Pastor home to be with Him…I had to come to a point where I trusted God and His plan and timing. Even though I was tempted to cling to something that was so very good. Or I could choose to be angry with God and reject His plan that was working out. But God was about doing a new work, a fresh work, not always according to what I liked or wanted.

One of my favorite songs by Steven Curtis Chapman is called “Hold on to Jesus”. In it he speaks of clinging loosely to things that are fleeting, but to hold on to Jesus for life.

Some of those things that are fleeting are people…good people and good things won’t always be around. God has them in our life for a season. Isn’t that all the more reason to be thankful and grateful for the good people and things that God brings into our life? Even when it’s just for a short while? Isn’t it all the more reason to say thank you and show appreciation and love…because tomorrow we may not have that opportunity? Isn’t it all the more reason to be mindful that all things come from God and we need to be most grateful to Him for the blessings He has given us? Isn’t all the more reason to be mindful of the fact that when we loose a brother or sister in Christ, be it a move or through death, we will one day see them again? We’re going to be spending an eternity together…and if we can grasp that…it will make the temporary partings more bearable. We can even look forward in eager anticipation of that reunion one day.

So my dear brothers and sisters at Emmanuel Baptist…we are praying for you and are confident that God will raise up the next man to lead your church. Remain faithful and grounded on the word of God…and He will bring another servant faithful to preach God’s word to a hungry, thirsty and grateful congregation.

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When Faith Comes Crashing In

Posted in Doubt, Faith, Hope Deferred, Praying, Trusting God by

Not the first of Your servants,
To experience doubt and unbelief,
A failure of faith.

From hope to despair,
The light turns to dark,
All comes crashing in.

Like David of old,
My soul cries out,
Have you forgotten, yeah even forsaken me?

I feel like Elijah,
Following his victory on the mount,
I am overcome with fear, trembling and doubt.

I let go,
I give up,
Ask the walls to come tumbling down upon me.

Your word assures me,
It bids me to trust Thee,
Believe in that which is yet unseen.

I can not,
It is beyond me,
My hope has been deferred for far too long.

I cry out,
In words known only,
To the Holy Spirit within.

He pleads,
He carries my requests,
Before the very throne room of God.

I bow before Thee,
In silence I wait,
You are my only hope.

Trembling with disbelief,
I dare not look up,
Else You will see tears shed in doubt and unbelief.

I lay them on the alter,
Take from You courage,
To believe in more than that which is seen.

I ask You for hope,
For the faith to believe,
To trust in Your goodness and mercy towards me.

In my circumstances,
You are at work, perfectly fitting him,
Whom You have chosen for me.

Dear Lord, how might I persuade you?
When Adam walked with You,
You declared, “It is not good for man to be alone!”

As Jacob wrestled with You Lord, so too will I cling,
I will not, no I will not let go,
Until Thou blesses me.

by Susan Bunts
October 12, 2007

Struggling Prayer

Posted in Prayer, Trusting God by

I wonder…are those times when I struggle with prayer indicative of my lack of commitment and surrender to God’s will.

When I fail to submit to God’s will…is that because I’ve failed to remember Who He is? Is it because I’ve forgotten or that I don’t trust His character and remember that He alone is worthy and trustworthy?

Is it me putting myself and my will before God and His plan?

Do I fail to trust Him because I don’t know Him?

When He calls do I answer…or do I tune Him out with the distraction of today?

Do I not know God because I have failed to diligently study the Word of God?

Is it because I’ve failed to apply the Word of God to my life, my choices, my actions and allow it to shape my will?

Do I pursue God as the big genie who is all knowing and all powerful and able to answer my prayers…because He can do anything?

Or do I pursue God Himself…and desire to know Him more and more?

Am I more focused on what I can do and how I should do it instead of humbly bowing before the throne of God…seeking His will, His knowledge, His wisdom, and His strength…the will to obey?

Do I seek to accomplish things on my own strengthen rather than fight the battle on my knees?

Last year…and earlier this year when I was still bent on having my life the way I wanted it…my relationship with God was blocked. I don’t even think I was aware of my lack of surrender. Once I surrendered to God and His will for my life…even when it was not to my liking or my choice…I had a peace with God that had been lacking.

Thankfully our relationship with God is one that grows. As we learn about Him, submit to Him and His will for us and our lives…we grow. Where I was 10 years ago is not where I’m at today. Most assuredly where I am today…will not be where I’m at 10 years from now.

Part of what will make heaven, heaven is that I will see God, Jesus Christ for Who He really is. I won’t get in the way. I will have a consistently proper high view of God and a realistic low view of me.

Just think…in heaven…there will be no whining, complaining or disagreements. There will be no gossip or slander. There will be no hatred. Everyone will be in agreement with God and what He says. What God declares good is good and what God declares sin…is sin. Truth will be declared…no lies permitted. Instead of struggling with my sinful human nature…it will be changed. I will no longer be ruled by the sinful desires of my flesh…and my heart will truly and fully pursue God.

Even so…come quickly Lord Jesus, Amen, Amen and so be it!

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Gleanings

Posted in Heart, Hurt, Love, Pain, Rejection, Trusting God by

“We can never fully know God’s power in our lives until we are at our weakest.“

“Rejection…doesn’t rejection hurt all the more when it comes from one who knows you well?“

God is at work in me right now…not sure exactly to what end…and what will be the result…I feel as though I am under construction as I have embarked on listening to Beth Moore’s “A Woman’s Heart” Bible Study.

When listening to the CD’s I sometimes feel assailed by thoughts and ideas and memories from the past. Sometimes they come so fast I can’t even remember them so I can write them down. Other times…I can hardly wait to get to my computer or put pen to paper. I made a mad dash to the computer to jot down the above thoughts.

On Thursday morning…as the water flowed over me during my morning shower and I was waking up…I was surprised when I clearly recalled an episode of painful rejection from last year. Good gracious…where did that come from? The enemy? Yeah…I’ve been feeling some arrows coming my way lately. One of his most effective instruments is to make me feel alone, isolated and rejected…so that I will distrust God and His motives and work in my life.

Today as I continued to listen to the CD’s…memories from my teenage years and early adulthood came to mind. I found myself wishing that I could talk to my mother…just talk as an adult…and deal with left over issues. Things that were never discussed or dealt with during our life. Ask why or what were you thinking? Or what was going on in your life that caused this or that? Unfortunately…that’s a conversation that will have to take place the other side of heaven…since the woman I see each week bears little resemblance to my mother. At times she knows I’m her daughter…but more often…I’m her sister or an old schoolmate that comes to visit.

Our relationship was not a great one. Sometimes I use to think it was because we were not biologically related and she never really bonded with me or maybe didn’t like me. But in actuality…I think we were just very different. Just like I’m not perfect and a work in progress…she too was that when I was growing up. A mother…not bad…but surely not perfect. One who carried her own scars into motherhood and life.

I do find myself concerned for her salvation. One who didn’t have a close walk with God…nor did she talk much about God, nor know His word. We didn’t go to church, nor read the Bible until after my father died when I was 10. After that we started to attend church. It’s hard for the outside observer to know for sure…but from the evidence throughout her life…I’m left with the thought…I don’t really know if she has ever accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Thus you will find me quizzing her or preaching to her every now and again.

I wonder…does her repeating the sinner’s prayer when her mind and will is fading if not gone…does it count? Or is it just me…trying to lead or drag her into the kingdom?

On a recent preaching episode with Gayle…I was explaining the Gospel. When I asked her if she wanted to accept Jesus…she responded, “Well I’m not sure…that sounds too good to be true.” Indeed it is too good…but thankfully it is true. I got her to say the words. Only the Lord knows the results of those words. Did it take…is she saved? I don’t know. Thus…I will likely continue to press the point.

Even though I have a life time of rejection that is blinding at times…I remind myself that I have been accepted by God. That if all else forsake me…that I am accepted in the Beloved. Does that help…yes mostly…and no for pain still remains…and questions…and scars.

There are times when I want to say to God…I believe in You. I am grateful for the sacrifice of Jesus for my sins…and I’ve accepted Him as my Lord and Savior…but I can’t go on. I’ll live a decent life…and won’t get involved in that which is wrong…but I don’t want to do anything more than that. I want to just live my life. He of all people knows the hurt in my heart…and knows that which is deep and invisible to others…but it’s bright as the noon day sun to Him. He knows it…and He has the ability to help heal and end that pain. But for whatever reason…thus far He has chosen not to.

And that’s when I start to get a stinky attitude…and say I love you God…but I don’t want to do anything more than live my life. I can’t give that which I don’t have. For an outpouring of love and service…surely I need to have my tanks filled. But they remain dangerous close to empty. I’m tired of running on empty.

Does having lived this life with pain make me more compassionate and understanding towards those who are hurting? Yes…I know well what it’s like to have a hurting heart. But in some respects…it’s also dulled my feelings. The hurt has caused scars that are tough. Scars which help protect my heart from further injury. At times…I can be rather cold hearted and uncaring. I feel like I’m running on empty…and by my own power and can’t go much further.

I do believe that this will necessitate me trusting God…even when it doesn’t feel safe and when I don’t want to. So does that bring me back to my first point?

“We can never fully know God’s power in our lives until we are at our weakest.“

Hum…well…I’m there. Today I feel as though I’m at my weakest…and need a miracle. I don’t only want to know rest, peace and the fullness of love when I get to heaven. I want to know it down here…this side of heaven. I want to give to people…out of the fullness and abundance of my heart…not only from a heart that is running on empty.

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Faith Walk

Posted in Faith, Prayer, Trusting God, Word of God by

Does the faith spoken of in Hebrews 11, the Hall of Faith, seem remote or reserved for the saints during Bible days? Or does it seem as though God gives that extra measure of faith to the “heavy hitters”…such as Abraham or Noah or Elijah or David? After all Abraham was the father of the Jews and through him…our Savior would come. Noah…good golly he faced a world wide flood that came from the first ever rainfall that lasted 40 days and nights…only he and his family would be saved. Elijah…the man who walked with God. David…slew the giant Goliath…he was God’s chosen king of Israel…and forefather to Jesus Christ. Now how can I compare with those saints of old?

Well I am thoroughly convinced that God intends for each of us to walk by faith. A faith that transforms lives…empowers and strengthens us just when we are about to be overwhelmed in our weakness. That faith bears witness to the power and work of God within us.

God who called Abel, Moses, Jacob and Paul…is the same God who called us. The word of God assures us that God never changes.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

God is no respecter of persons. He is the one who equips us. He calls us. He knows our circumstances…even the ones that are afar off. We have been called according to His perfect plan, purpose and good pleasure. Surely God will equip each of us with a measure of faith…for that which He has called us to according to His perfect plan.

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” – Romans 12:3

“May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” – Hebrews 13:20-21

So how do we prepare ourselves…so that we might be equipped for every good work that God has called us to. We do that through the reading of His word. Through prayer…because we are building a relationship with God…and we must learn to trust Him, who He is and His character. He is God…and He is good.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16-17

We ought not to be surprised when we go through those bad times of trials and tribulation. For it is there…when we are enduring and God is seemingly silent that we learn to walk by faith, not by sight. Am I going to trust God or am I going to rely on my own strength? Is my focus on God…or my circumstances?

Its God’s work in us…thus we are precluded from boasting or being prideful.

“In order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. – Ephesians 2:7-9

Instead when we see God’s work in us, and though us, it ought to evoke thanksgiving and praise…to Him who is worthy, Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen, amen…so be it!

The Voice of Truth
by Casting Crowns

Oh, what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
“Boy, you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
“Boy you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don’t seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
‘Causes Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you……..

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Be Strong in the Lord

Posted in Humility, Submission to God, Trusting God by

As I wondered why in the world did I decide to change jobs just now…I asked God…“So what do you want me to learn from all of this?” “What’s your purpose…what’s your plan Lord?” God answered…humility!

I knew even before I applied for the job…that there would a day in the not too distant future where I would feel real uncomfortable…and have doubts as to whether I had chosen wisely and done the right thing. I knew that going in. Some sage advice…that I’ve given to others and that was drawn from my own experience was to never evaluate a new job in the first six months to a year. Even when it’s a job you like…you are going to have to learn things and will not feel comfortable and enjoy a new job for a while.

I know that…I’ve been there and done that. Yet at the same time…I had felt God strongly opening that door and leading me in the path to take this job. A job completely different from any others that I’ve held. A lot to learn…from terminology to new tasks and programs. So it was with eyes wide open that I made that change…following the Lords leading.

Well…it took about three weeks for me to really have that week that wiped me out and made me have some doubts. Something I knew would come. This time…it was delayed a bit with the 4th of July holiday…my surgery and people’s vacations. But this week…my training began in earnest…and I had a few days where I just wanted to cry because I felt so inadequate and spent.

Thankfully the formal training was for about 2 ½ days. The thing that makes training so draining is that I have to concentrate so fully during that time. My attention has to be very focused and I need to interact with my trainer non stop.

Since this job is so different than other work I’ve done…and I’m not yet comfortable…there are times I feel like a real dummy. At the same time…I remind myself, “Susan…you’ve been there before. In time…you will come to know the terminology, the programs and the job. Stay focused, learn and do your job well.”

This week I started to see why God had moved me in this direction. But that didn’t stop my discomfort and questions for both God and me. Not exactly sure when, where and how God might answer my questions…but I felt drawn to pick up a CD album by Beth Moore which I had purchased not too long ago. I had picked it up at the recommendation of my friend Ruth and had listened to the album shortly after I had received it. In fact…I listened several times…and God had used it to minister to and helped me be encouraged to forge ahead into the unknown of a new job.

The thing I love about God’s word is how fresh it is…and able to minister to me fresh each time I pick it up. How many times…I’ve picked up the Bible and read a passage…one I’ve read before and I’ll see something I’ve never noticed or paid attention to before. But this time it jumps out at me.

Beth Moore’s studying “Crossing Your River of Fear” held a different message for me this time. This go around…God used it to answer my question as to His purpose in taking me down this new path. The answer was to better learn humility. To learn to humble myself under the mighty hand of God.

In this study Beth shows us in God’s word that He wants us to “Take Courage”. Not be courageous…or suck it up…and be courageous on our own strength and power…but to “Take Courage”. He offers it to us just as He did Joshua when he as about to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. Just a Jesus offered it to the disciples when they were in a stormy sea about to go under.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” – Matthew 14:27

As Jesus had sent the disciples out in the boat ahead of him…and He knew a storm was forthcoming…He knew I would feel quite overwhelmed in my new circumstance. Just as Jesus knew He was God Almighty and He was able to still the seas at His command…He knows that He is able to still the stormy seas of my life and circumstances.

He also has a purpose in these circumstances to cause me to look to Him for help. Not turn to myself and muster up the courage I need. But instead to fall upon my knees before Him and take my fears and concerns before the throne of God…take them to the God who cares for me. The God who knew each day of my life…before the foundations of the world were laid. The God who knit me together in my mother’s womb. That God. That same God…who sent His son Jesus Christ to take my sins upon Him and die upon the cross…so that my sins might be forgiven. That God…my Savior who willingly died upon the cross so that one day I might be with Him in heaven…where He went to prepare a place for me. That God…the very God of the Bible.

He desires a relationship with me…and He will use my circumstances to draw me to Himself. Now this will sound sacrilegious to some…but please know in now way is it intended to be that. But if something similar was done by a human being we would consider it kind of sick…kind of like “Munchausen’s Syndrome”. But it’s not.

I can be assured that God is good and what He does is good. That He has a purpose and a plan. Like a parent who allows their child to fail…so that they learn humility and character that they would never learn with success…God allows me to get in over my head into something that is His will…so that I will learn that I need to turn to Him. That I can be strong in the Lord. That God alone is able and sufficient to sustain me and uphold me in all circumstances.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. – 1 Peter 5:6

God desires that I be humble so that I will listen to Him and turn to Him. If God is to use me…it is imperative that I be humble and learn to follow His instructions. It critical that I not take the glory for myself…but instead turn any praise, honor and glory over to God.

I can see quite clearly in the past year…God has used circumstances in my life to bring me to and end of myself. He has used recent events to help me learn to be obedient to Him and to seek to hear Him and follow His direction.

Well…here I am again. Thankfully I have a recent example in which I did it right. The question is…will I do so this time? Will I have an ear to hear God? Will I desire to follow His lead…even if it takes me through some uncomfortable valleys?

Yesterday I was struck by the thought that life is really learning about letting go…and accepting losses. The sooner I can do that and do it gracefully…the better. The sooner I can let go and trust God…even when circumstances don’t make sense from a human perspective…the better. The more I can reach out to God…taking my needs and hurts and pain to Him…the more He can use me. Will I resist being shaped by God? Or will I submit to God?

Willingly and knowingly submitting to God is so much easier and less painful that it is to be humbled by God and being made to submit.

“His wisdom is profound, his power is vast. Who has resisted him and come out unscathed?” – Job 9:4

Make no mistake…there will come a day in which God will demand our submission. The sooner I can learn to trust God and submit when He calls me to…the better off I’ll be.

It is written: ” ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’ – Romans 14:11

So it is with gratitude that I humble myself under the mighty hand of God…and seek His wisdom and help for my current circumstances…knowing that my God is a big God and is more than able to handle what concerns me today. Praise God!

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. – 2 Corinthians 9:8

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. – Ephesians 3:20

Psalm 18:1-6

1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.

2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

4 The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

5 The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

Humble:
1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive
2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission humble apology>
3 a : ranking low in a hierarchy or scale : insignificant, unpretentious

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All In All

Posted in Bible Study, Trusting God by

The last week or two has been a very busy time…and I’ve not been able to sit down and put my fingers to the keyboard. Lots of things were happening…so I feel filled to the brim and overflowing with thoughts and emotions.

Two weeks ago I started in my new role at work. It feels very odd to be the rookie…and not know the job or the people. Although I stayed within the company…it’s a whole new area of the business and I’m starting at square one. Learning from the ground up. I’m anxious and chomping at the bit to learn and be productive. I’m assured within a few weeks…I’ll be very busy…but for the time being things are starting out slow.

All in all that worked out okay because a week after starting my new job…I had to have cataract surgery. This was the second cataract surgery I’ve had…this time on the right eye. I was off for a couple of days…and was able to return back to work on Wednesday.

It’s rather amazing when you think of it. I had surgery on my eye and was able to return to work after a day’s rest. I can tell I’m getting older because this time…I felt quite tired for several days afterwards. Since the pace at work…is still slow that didn’t cause a problem.

Even though it’s unusual for someone in their 40’s to have cataracts…I’ve come to believe that it’s not such a bad thing to have surgery at this age. In talking to others who are older and have had the same surgery…they had complications or didn’t heal as quickly. All in all…my surgery, recovery and healing have gone very well…thank you Lord!

With my new job…I get to go into work an hour later…which means I can now take my full one hour walk before work. What a difference that makes. I feel better, less stressed. Even though I have a longer commute now that we’ve moved to our new offices…I invest my time well by listening to CDs….mostly Bible study CDs.

Talk about God bringing you the right message at the right time. A few weeks ago…I started listening to Beth Moore’s “Fruit of the Spirit” Bible study. It seemed like each lesson was something I needed to apply that day. God really ministered to my spirit in His perfect timing.

The week I was facing some blatant rejection I was taught about love. Beth Moore taught in the fruit of the spirit on love…that “love never fails”. Or to be more precise love never falls to the ground. If we act and respond in love…and that love is rejected…Jesus is there to catch it. It doesn’t fall to the ground, He see, He cares and catches it. It does matter to Jesus…we matter to Jesus.

I’m reminded at such a time…that if God is for me…who can be against me? Will I encounter people who will oppose me? Most assuredly…as we all do. But in comparison to the love and acceptance from my Lord and Savior…man’s rejection pales in comparison. As the Apostle Paul taught us…it doesn’t even tip the scales in comparison to the eternal rewards and the love of my God and Savior Jesus Christ.

It matters less who I am compared to whose I am. Since I was bought and paid for by the blood of Christ Jesus on the cross….I am called to respond rightly…even when faced with rejection. When I do so…God can use that to plant seeds that will come to fruition in His perfect timing. If I fail to do so…and act out of my flesh…I will be giving the enemy material to work with. I hate letting my enemies win! May it never be!

If I’m to be strong…I need to be strong in the Lord and not rely on my own strength and wisdom.

“Be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might.” – Ephesians 6:10

Now that is a prescription for success…and for perseverance and steadfastness.

Each day while driving to work…I’d put in a new CD. Sometimes listening to the same CD a couple of times. I don’t mind telling you…that the tears have flowed a number of times. But all in all they were tears of release…renewal, refreshing and cleansing.

My precious friend Ruth has lent me the DVDs for this same study…and as much as I love listening to the CDs…watching the DVDs makes the study more personal and intimate. This is one Bible study that I will be revisiting again and again.

One of the things I don’t like is when I finish up a good Bible study or book. I don’t like because I miss it…it’s become a part of my life. Also because I have a hard time deciding what I should move on to next. But this time…I felt God’s leading to a very specific study by Beth Moore called “Breaking Free”. Just started it today…and I look forward to what God will teach me and how He will reveal Himself, minister to me and meet me right where I am at.

I remember when I first heard Beth Moore speaking. Ruth had spoken highly of her teaching so I listened. I could tell that she was a good teacher…but I just didn’t connect with her then. I even read her book “Believing God”. But when I revisited Beth’s teachings later…suddenly there was that connection. It was through her new book “Get Out of that Pit” that I would connect. Beth was one of the people whom God would use to reach out to me at this season of my life. So now I’m feasting on the word of God through this wonderful teacher…who is still relatively new to me. So I have much to discover and look forward to this part of the adventure.

What I love about Beth is her excitement and passion for God, for His Word and her love for people. I love her transparency. She isn’t afraid to share from deep inside…the good, the bad, the silly and the serious. Things that we’ve all felt inside to varying degrees…but maybe we aren’t brave enough…(or is it foolish enough?)…to speak out. But not Beth. She is brave, open and transparent…and I get to benefit as God uses this precious woman to touch my life with His love and give me a sneak peek at His wonderful plans that He has for my life.

It seems like it’s been an eventful time in many respects. It’s been an emotional time…even more so as I reflect back on the past year or two. Things that a year ago I would have said I couldn’t bear to live without…I can now see God’s hand and plan in removing. I’m even grateful…since I see the work that He is doing in me and how He is revealing Himself to me as I seek Him.

To remind myself of God’s faithfulness and His work in me…I’ve made a new bracelet that I wear daily. It say’s “CONSECRATE”…and I wear it to remind myself of the Bible verse that God gave me as the new year began. “Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” – Joshua 3:5.

Can I get a witness? Indeed He has. But more than that…it’s a present active participial kind of living. He continually does amazing things. Just think…He’s called me to share and participate in that plan. Now is that phenomenal or what? Amen, amen and praise God!

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Crossing That Line

Posted in Critical Spirit, Obeying God, Seeking God, Trusting God by

When does valid concern and criticism about an important issue become a critical spirit? At what point does it cross a line? Even when the matter being addressed is something of importance and close to the heart of God?

I’m not sure I know the exact answer to that question. But I do know that God had reined me in this week in the area pertaining to my church.

God in His world counsels us that we are united in the body of Christ not divided.

“I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” – 1 Corinthians 1:10

“God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” – 1 Corinthians 12:24-26

Our church, Kindred Community Church, has been going through a time of transition for some time now…since our beloved Pastor Chuck Obremski went home to be with our Lord. That was back on September 18, 2005…almost two years now.

In that intervening time…Kindred began the search for a new Sr. Pastor who will be our Pastor, teacher, spiritual leader and friend. God has used the time since Chuck’s death to prepare us for the man whom He has called. At times I’ve been anxious to see who that man is. At times…I’ve been very much at peace knowing that God is in control…and that in His perfect timing God will raise up our new Pastor.

Since we don’t have a Sr. Pastor…we have had a number of men…pastors, teachers and leaders in the Christian community preaching on Sundays. Like the well known disagreements that churches can get in to over music styles…there has been differing opinions on those who have preached over these almost two years.

But I guess whether we favor the speaker that week or have someone else that we resonate with the one thing we can all give thanks for is God’s provision. We can also give Jesus Christ…praise, honor and glory for how He has kept the body of Christ at Kindred knit together. That’s not to say that some have not left to attend other churches in the intervening time. The truth be told…some have. But for the most part…we remain in tact and committed to Jesus Christ, each other and sharing the Gospel message with a lost and dying world.

Another thanksgiving and praise should go to God who has raised up committed members of Kindred’s Pastoral Search Committee. Because of their dedication and sacrifice and commitment to finding the man whom God has called…I am confident that one day (hopefully soon) we will have our Pastor. A thank you must go to also to our Elders for their commitment to finding the man of God who is committed to deep, uncompromised teaching of God’s word. Someone who will teach us the meat of the Word…not baby food that will not nourish the body of Christ.

No where was that more evident than recently when the search looked like it might be coming to an end…but for reasons that remain confidential…a decision was not made regarding those candidates. While disappointed…I was somewhat relieved to know that they were not going to settle just because we are desperate. That they weren’t going to go with the next pretty face or with the one who would weave stories that would tickle our ears and makes us feel good…but in the end leave us empty and without hope.

Would the Search Committee and the Elders like this to be over? You beta ya! Are they tired of bearing a heavy responsibility…that has not yet ended? You beta ya! Are they undergoing spiritual warfare and attacks from the enemy? You beta ya! Do they feel the burden when our congregations speaks up and shares concerns about it taking so long…or if a speaker is not everyone’s cup of tea…or if they see members starting to go elsewhere? You beta ya they do! But more than that…these godly men and women are committed to finding the man whom God has called to be our new Sr. Pastor.

I think it’s also time to give thanks to fellow members of Kindred for remaining committed to Christ Jesus and each other. It makes a big difference when we are involved with one another and connected. That became clear to me recently when I thought on Sunday…I might like to go and hear a preacher at a church that I’ve heard is a great Bible study teacher. But I realized…that gee wiz…I couldn’t because it was my week to serve in this area or that area.

That interconnectedness is also apparent when someone is on vacation or out of town…and their presence is greatly missed. Someone not being there is noticed. The love for other believers is made clear when people will come up and ask how you are doing if there has been a recent prayer request on your behalf or that of a family member or friend.

One of the things I love best about my church…is that it’s multigenerational. We have grandparents, parents and children of the same family that attend. Yet…there room for that person who doesn’t have any family…or if it’s just them or their spouse. Everyone is loved and welcomed in.

So this week…when I had a concern…and it was clear that God was reining me in to not necessarily speak my mind…I thought that perhaps He has another message instead.

Is God testing out hearts? Does He desire for us to cry out to Him? To go to Him in confident desperation…knowing He is able in His perfect timing to bring our new Pastor? To seek God and His will for our church? To draw close to Him…to have a listening ear for Him? Is He testing our hearts? Will we remain steadfast in studying the word of God? We will go to midweek studies? Will we study God’s word…only when it’s convenient? Or will we put in that extra push? Will we be committed to one another? Will we be divisive and back biting or grateful and committed?

I guess it’s a fine line to walk. There may be a time to speak up and share concerns with the Elders. There may also a time humble myself under their leadership…because I know of their commitment to finding God’s man. To trust God’s call on their lives as our leaders. Ultimately to trust God and His sovereignty and leadership during this time of transition.

In the mean time…I am grateful for God’s care and provision for our church. I must say…I’m prejudice…because I love the teaching of some of the men from Kindred…be it Dave Dunn…my favorite Bible study teacher…or Jack Grogger and Joe Rispoli godly leaders who work with the youth of our church. No matter if it’s one of our homegrown men…or a visiting Pastor…Kindred’s pulpit has never been empty.

Perhaps it’s also a reminder that we as body of Christ need to be praying for the man who will be teaching us from God’s word that week. Knowing that He is able to equip them each week. Knowing that God is also at work in their lives. They may just be passing through for a week or two…and we have a chance to show them the love of Christ.

Not only does God call us to be united, not divided. But He also counsels us that the most important thing is love.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13

So to answer my opening question…when and where does a valid concern become a critical spirit? I think that when I stop walking in love. When I make it about me…and not about God. When I’m walking in pride…not walking humbly with my God. When I fail to be grateful for God’s provisions.

A fine line to walk…but I know of One who will walk it with me. All praise, honor and glory be to Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen!

Now if I may be so bold…if I could ask any Christians reading this post to lift up Kindred Community Church and say a prayer for our church that God in His perfect timing will raise up the man of God whom He has called. That we will have ears to hear…and a heart to obey God each step of the way. Thank you so much for your much coveted prayers for my beloved church.

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6/4/07 At the End of the Day…What a Difference a Year Makes

Posted in At the End of the Day, God's Will, Trusting God by

This year on June 1st, I found myself again at a crossroads…only this time…I’m filled with peace and a desire to follow hard after God and His will.

Last year…well that’s a different story. It had been months and months of uncertainty. Our company had been bought out and the team I was once a part of…most of the folks had job interviews and knew one way or the other if they had a job. Some received offers and others received a painful phone call that they would not be offered a job. They set their face forward and moved on into an uncertain future.

My exact fate was still uncertain. I had multiple interviews…and no answers. No thumbs up…or down. And then a phone call came and I was invited to travel far away for a big interview. I was hopeful. After all why in the world would they fly someone that far that they wouldn’t consider seriously for the job? The trip was your basic trip from you know where…but in the midst of it…God strengthened me, upheld me and enabled me to get through that day…and the many months to come.

As odd as it sounds…I never got an official word from those that interviewed me. The job remained open for months and months. Each time it posted…I reapplied. But it all came to naught.

During this time…I was emotionally torn up. I knew what I wanted…but I couldn’t see my way clear to make it happen. As I look back with the wisdom of hindsight…I can see clearly that God had closed that door. What God has closed…can never be opened. But I didn’t quite get that then.

I thought perhaps it was a test of perseverance…and God just wanted to make sure that I was going to trust Him…and believe Him…no matter what. That I wasn’t going to look at my circumstances but instead look to Him who would fight for me.

I guess that was indeed the test. But proving grounds were different that I could have ever imagined. I never got that which I had so desperately sought and desired. The question is…would I preserve in my faith and trust God in the midst of deep disappointment? Would I trust God…even as I asked why…even when answers were not forth coming? Trust God as He led me on a path I didn’t want to travel? Was I going to look to Him and not my circumstances to determine my love for God? Was I…did I? Uhhh…not exactly.

It was much different than I would have ever imagined. I was ready to persevere to get that which I wanted. But I wasn’t ready…it never crossed my mind that I would have to preserver in my faith as I got that which I did not desire.

It was an awful time…a time of great loss…a time that I made all the worse because I didn’t fully trust God. I didn’t trust the God who created the universe and everything in it by merely speaking His powerful Word. I didn’t fully believe…with a deep down personal faith…that God works all things together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. I valued my hopes and dreams over and above His plan for my life.

To quote Elf…I was a cotton headed ninny muggings! Here, here…I’ll second that.

Despite my roller coaster…wobbly faith…my God was faithful. He showed me His tender mercies…and poured out His grace upon me. Before my path…he brought people…who would help make the unbearable, bearable. Those who would share a kindness or two even as I bore the emotional wounds from that of a friend. It’s those wounds that cut the deepest…and take the longest to heal. But God brought the salve of friendship to heal those wounds. Slowly but surely…those scars have mended. On occasion they are a bit tender still…and if I choose to dwell on them…they are still visible. But when I’m busy and set upon the work God has called me to do…they seem so very distant, small and even unimportant.

So as this June 1st rolled around and I found myself once again waiting to see if God is would open up a door on a new job opportunity…I was pleasantly surprised to feel an absolute peace.

My prayer is not…God get me out of here…or help me get that job. Instead…my prayer is God…please make Your will known to me. If this is not Your will…please I beg You make it ever so clear…so I don’t go down that wrong road. Shut that door…with a load bang that even a slower learner like me can’t mistake for a no. Please God…reveal Your will for me in this situation.

I am not anxious…and would feel a genuine peace if someone else got the job I applied for. In looking at the circumstances…it looks like God may be leading this way. But I don’t want to read something into it that’s not there.

I want to follow hard after God. I want to be dead center in the middle of His will for my life. Better that I be on a path not of my own choosing with God…and on my own path alone.

So here I wait to see what God is going to do. Is this just a test to see if I will choose wisely? Will I trust God this time around? Or will I seek to bring about what I want no matter what God wants?

It doesn’t matter if this is a test…or if God opening the door to move me in a different direction. It doesn’t matter…because all I want is His will…not my own.

I do pray that if another person gets this job…that I will be joyful for them.

When I look back and see why I experienced closed doors last year…I know why He closed them. I understand now…I get it. Yet I’m mindful that while God may use our wrong actions to bring about His predetermined plan…He will also hold each of us accountable for our choices and actions. Just as He did on the nations he allowed to come up against Israel. It didn’t negate their responsibility and consequences…even when God used it as part of His plan.

There is no better place to be than in the center of God’s will. I wonder what this last year would have been like if God’s will had been my overriding desire and determined purpose?

If per chance God opens up this new avenue…I’m very aware that this is just a tool and a means that He will use for His purposes and plan. May I praise God…no matter what happens!

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5/22/07 At the End of the Day…Change is in the Wind

Posted in At the End of the Day, Change, Eternal Perspective, Trusting God by

First I’d like to say thank you to Kim Beringer…my friend…and my encourager. What a wonderful thing to be known as…an encourager. Indeed she is that…and more. I’ve known Kim for a number of years now. When I reflect upon Kim what strikes me is that she is so very real in her faith and how she views life. Her faith runs deep…and it is a part of her. She doesn’t expect people or situations to be perfect…yet she always seeks to bring something to the table and make it better. Never will you hear a word gossip from her…but you will hear a tale of good that somebody’s done. She looks on the bright side of things…but doesn’t deny the hurt. She strikes a perfect pitch. Kim is my Yenta…and continues to encourage me in my desire to be married. Kim always shares a word of encouragement about my writing. I am most grateful to you dear one.

That day I was standing at the copier…about the last thing I expected was to see his face. After all he had left the company five years ago. I don’t remember him coming back to the building since then. Oh there was the occasional lunch and phone calls…but I never would have expected to seem him back here. In fact he and the family had just moved to North Carolina. Maybe that explains my surprise at seeing Terry Sullivan. But that doesn’t necessarily explain my tears.

I was shocked to seem him and felt like I was dreaming…even as I hugged him. He asked how I was…that’s when I started to tear up. I couldn’t hide it and I couldn’t explain it. Terry was passing through and just came in to say “hi”.

I think I was just overwhelmed with emotions…it made the losses of the past year seem all the more poignant. Terry asked how I was…and I said “I’m doing okay” and yet I cried.

Terry had been my boss for a number of years. Actually I remember him when he was but a young pup, up and coming…who went on to greatly prosper in his career. The thing I liked best about working with Terry…he’s a no nonsense kick butt…get things done kind of guy. Both for himself…and the team that he led. Terry was refreshing to work with…and he cared about people…and had a lot of courage. Seeing Terry…reminded me of how much I loved that which I had lost.

The past year has been a difficult one. Some ups and downs…an emotional roller coaster. Times when I let my faith fail me. It failed me when I got my eyes off Jesus and instead focused on me and my circumstances. But it was also a time to grow and ease into a place that I didn’t want to be planted. Even in the midst of that unplanned and undesired change…God brought people into my path…that made a difference for good. Without those people…I’m not sure how I would have made it through some very dark days. God used people to make a difference…a difference for good.

In short time we will be moving to a new location…the final step of being bought out will finally come to fruition. I will be leaving a building that I’ve been at for I don’t know how many years now…at least seven…maybe more.

I feel bittersweet about this. I will miss some of the folks that will remain with our old company. In some respects…I’ll just be glad to be done with it and have fresh start. The building holds so many memories…mostly good ones. But it’s kind of like having good memories of a wonderful marriage…only to have your spouse leave you. You are grateful for the good times…but thinking about them now only serves to bring you pain.

I had a job that I absolutely loved for so very long…and I’m grateful. I gave it my all…quality work…and continuing to improve was paramount with me. I wanted to continue to grow and better myself. I kept years and years of great records. Data that I had believed could be used to make the department and the company better.

But that all came to a screeching halt when we got word that the company had been sold. Instead now I was making back up discs of data…and sending away, throwing away pile, after pile, after pile…of my work. The work that I thought to be so very important…all of a sudden it was irrelevant. The time spent to make sure a report was accurate and picture perfect was now in trash bin. The work I had done…the goals I had came to naught.

I don’t think I realized it then…but after a year…I think I understand…it’s about the people. People who are loved by God and created in His image.

Don’t get me wrong. No matter what job I have…I’ll give I my all. I’ll work hard and give you my best. But at the end of the game…that work will one day just end up in a heap, in a pile of trash. What’s important…what matters is the people. If I get that wrong…if I’ve messed that up…then I’ve really blown it.

The job I had before I loved and was meaningful to me. I never, ever, wanted…to have “just a job”. But even now as I work…and reports that seem so critical and are needed yesterday…I’m cognizant…and at times overwhelmed…about how meaningless it is.

Recently I was talking with Beth at Bible Study Fellowship. Beth had just started a new job and was saying she liked it…that she found the work meaningful. She likes being able to do paperwork…it suited her and she felt like she was making a difference. I didn’t say anything…because I understand what that feels like. It’s nice when we have work that suits our skills, talents and abilities. But make no mistake…the work itself…at the end of the day will have no lasting value.

What’s it about? It’s about people. It’s about fulfilling God’s greatest commandment…to love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength…and love my neighbor as myself. People are of eternal value precisely because they were created in the image of God. The means by which we interact with them may be through our work. That is the avenue that God may use…and if He throws in a job we like…so much the better. But it’s not necessarily the work in and of itself. Of course there are exceptions…perhaps in the medical profession or law enforcement…and of course the ministry. But what’s the focus? People!

As a Christian…I must be a good worker. Someone who does outstanding work…so that I may bring glory, honor and praise to my Savior Christ Jesus. It’s also a means by which I may be given credibility…and build relationships. So when that time comes to be able to witness to them with the Gospel message…so that the seed of the Word of God may fall on good soil. Or it may be building relationships…so when difficult times come…I can be there because we have a relationship already in place and they know I care.

It’s about the people. They may think they need this report or that report…but really it’s about building relationships with people. People…not companies…are of eternal value.

We continue to have more and more changes. Even as we plan our move and pack boxes…more people have announced they are retiring or are leaving the company. People that I have known for years and years. Before I would have felt much sadder at their parting…but this year I almost feel numb…and tell them “good for you”. I think it’s a self defense…that way when they leave…it hurts a little less.

Well I say all that only to add that I’ve put in a bid for job within the company. I think I might like it…but don’t know for sure. It seems like God is opening doors. But at the same time…I feel absolutely at peace even if I don’t get the job…which is a pleasant surprise. After last year…and feeling absolutely torn up when I failed to get the job I wanted…I feel at peace and am trusting God in this one. If I get it great…if I don’t that’s okay too.

I feel a change in the wind…and I pause and feel like I’m putting my face into the wind. I contemplate and wonder…what would it be like to go into the ministry? Into a job where I was doing work of eternal or lasting value? Would I find it more meaningful…knowing my work was impacting the kingdom of God?

I guess in some respects…all work can impact the kingdom of God. Either for good or bad. Will I choose to be mindful of the truly important things? Will my focus be on that which is of eternal value…the souls of men and the Word of God? It can be my focus right now…will it be?

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At the End of the Day…Inner Reflections

Posted in BSF, Struggle, Trusting God by

I don’t want my trust in God to be dependent upon my circumstances.

This years study with Bible Study Fellowship has been a struggle for me. I feel like I’m barely making it across the finish line. When I look back over the past year…in an attempt to figure out why this year was different…I see a lot of factors that influenced me. But if the truth be told…I may be using them as an excuse for something else…something from within me. That’s why my bedtime prayer will be asking God to help me clearly see and understand what within me held me back and caused me to struggle. To keep me from a full, no holds barred commitment to studying God’s word. More than that…to make a change…so that in the fall I’ll be on track as we study Matthew. To be obedient…even when my feelings haven’t caught up with my will.

I’ve loved BSF for years…I love the discipline of it. In fact…it spoils me for other Bible studies. I love the combination of studying, sharing, reading and lecture in our concentrated study of the Bible. But this year…not all my cylinders were firing. At times I found it all too easy to have a critical eye. I wonder how much I focused on what was wrong with something or someone else rather than examining the attitude of my heart. Has my love for Jesus waxed cold? Is it because I had my eyes on my circumstances and not my Lord?

In some respects…I think I’ve tried to get through very difficult and challenging circumstances based on my own power, will and might…rather than trusting in God and looking to Him and His word to see me through. Trusting God even when He allows painful circumstances in my life. I think that whole thing comes down trusting God. Instead…the Bible counsels me to lean not on my own understanding…in all my ways acknowledge Him and He will direct my path.

That may mean…it’s a path I didn’t want to walk down it. But I think I’m finding out…better to be on a path not of my own choosing…if Jesus is with me…than to be on my path solo.

I’ll tell you what…I don’t ever, ever want to have another wishy washy lackluster year of Bible study again.

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Believe God?

Posted in Defeat, Deliverance, Faith, Trusting God by

So the question is…am I going to believe God or am I going to believe my circumstances? Am I going to trust God, His character and His Word or will I trust my roller coaster emotions? Will I trust God’s promises and faithfulness in the past as a testimony on how He remains the same, yesterday, today and forever? Or will I trust fleeting and changing circumstances that are but temporary, not eternal?

I’ve spent the better part of my life solely trusting my feelings…looking back on circumstances that didn’t turn out quite like I had planned or hoped…and believing that’s how it would always be.

I’m tired of living like that…that’s it…no more. I’m drawing a line in the sand. No more circumstantial living. I want a close, personal, intimate relationship with the God who created me, my Savior who perished on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins, and the Holy Spirit Who dwells within me.

In the past year…when circumstances didn’t go my way…when my emotions were all over the board…God continued to impress upon me scripture verses that helped me to put my hope in God. To trust Him despite what was happening in my life. To know that my God is faithful and He is able, more than able to accomplish any and all things that concern me, now and forevermore.

So I probably look like a crazy person to the outside observer…to the one who does not know God. Maybe I am…but not about this. Because I tell you…I will stand firm, consecrate myself and see the Lord’s deliverance. I will look to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who will prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

2 Chronicles 20:17 was the first scripture that God gave me last year about time. I’ve clung to it through the ups and downs in the past year.

“You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.” – 2 Chronicles 20:17

Joshua 3:5 was the scripture that God gave me as the New Year began. It encouraged my heart, mind soul and spirit and helped me to put my trust in God…not my circumstances. Despite all appearances…my God is faithful and He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and have been called according to His purposes.

Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.” – Joshua 3:5

In the face of recent defeat…that resurrected feelings of failure God gave me Psalm 23:5 to remind me that in His perfect timing He will not only deliver me…but do so in the presence of my enemies.

Psalm 23:5
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

How, when and where this amazing deliverance will occur I don’t rightly know. It will likely be in manner I never anticipated, long after I felt like I could endure no longer and when I feel at my lowest and surrounded by enemies.

Just like Lazarus who laid three days in the tomb…this girl is starting to stink. But watch out…Sunday’s coming and I shall see my deliverance. One day …shall see my Savior and my Deliverer face to face. Praise God!

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2/28/07 At the End of the Day…A Listening Ear

Posted in At the End of the Day, Prayer, Trusting God by

A few thoughts…observations from the day…with a listening ear towards God.

As I stood in line at El Polo Loco the sight of two guys praying before their meal really stood out. Not something I see at most restaurants…especially with guys. Unless of course it’s a men’s Bible study or prayer group. It was so refreshing…seeing godly men bow their head and give thanks to their Lord on a normal day, in a regular place.

Seeing these men praying got me thinking about prayer. Sometimes I really struggle when it comes to prayer. I struggle with praying regularly…and sometimes with what exactly to pray about. I’m sure to some degree this stems back to the fact when I was growing up…the Bible, prayer and church were not part of my family’s life.

Now as a grown up…it’s an area I find most challenging. In thinking about prayer…it’s talking to God…a conversation. One of talking, listening and sometimes just being together, but silent.

When I know a person really well…talking to them is not a struggle…it comes with ease. When I see them…I desire to sit down and talk or when I think about them…I want to pick up the phone and call. When it’s someone I like and respect…have a relationship with…I don’t have to think about what I’ll talk about or how to phrase things. It comes naturally. When I know someone well…I know what will tickle their fancy or make them laugh…or even get their dander up. It flows…its smooth…its give and take.

It would be ludicrous to think I’m good friends with someone, or know them well, if I don’t talk to them. I’d be fooling myself.

Shouldn’t that be kind of what it’s like with God? The more I know Him, the more I have a personal relationship with Him…won’t my prayer life, my conversation with God become more natural? I’ll desire too talk to Him more and more?

I wonder…do I make that conversation with God too complicated? Am I more concerned about how I say things rather than the actual conversation itself? And how do I get to know God better? Well…this side of heaven I won’t see Him face to face. So to know Him, to know His character, Who He is, what He’s all about is accomplished through the reading of His Word, the Bible and through prayer. The more time I spend with Him, the better I will know Him. The more I know about Him…His character…the more I will be able to trust Him. The more I know and trust God…then I will be better able to take Him at His Word and trust what He says. I’ll believe that He loves me. Whether it’ll be in the Bible or in prayer…or the Holy Spirit bearing witness to my spirit…I’ll want to be in conversation, in relationship with my God.

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There Is But One!

Posted in Defeat, Discouragement, Forgiveness, Spiritual Warfare, Trusting God by

There is but one who desires to discourage me, defeat me and leave me in despair. There is but one who desires that I doubt God, doubt that He loves me and has my best interest in mind at all times. There is but one who seeks to keep me from reading the Word of God, knowing it, understanding it and have it wash me from the inside out. That person is the enemy, the defeated foe, the one that will be bound and thrown into the lake of fire forever and ever, amen. Praise God!

Satan is the one and only person whom we can tell, “Go to hell” and have it be alright.

After a round of attacks that have seemed relentless in the recent past, despite the fact I knew full well…they were attacks of the enemy…I’ve been feeling discouraged and overwhelmed…down and out. At times the attacks are blatantly obvious…so much so I find myself laughing.

I don’t understand all the whys and wherefores on why God has permitted these attacks and has continued to leave situations unchanged despite much prayer. At this point my desire is that God will reveal what He would have me to learn. That I will have an ear to hear and an open and teachable spirit and learn whatever lessons God would have me to learn.

One of the ongoing themes of my life has been forgiveness. Forgiveness for those who have hurt me…both intentionally and unintentionally. Hurt is part of the human experience…it is certainly not exclusive to me. While personal…my experiences are not unique. I make progress and think I’ve forgiven…and then something comes up which brings up the hurt all over again. I think I need to adopt Corrie Ten Boom’s words. When she was reminded of an offense she responded, “I distinctly remember forgetting that.”

Yesterday when pondering hurt and forgiveness…God impressed upon me in no uncertain terms, “Susan you need to forgive this person.” When I think about the offense or replay the hurt in my mind…I can feel the stress in my body. I realize it’s not worth it. I’m the one suffering and feeling bad by not forgiving. They don’t care, they’ve moved on. Isn’t it about time I do the same? Continually replaying an offensive in an ongoing loop…does no good whatsoever.

I need to forgive…because it is the will and command of God that I do so.

I think we are all familiar how God uses tests to help us learn and grow. We pass a test, we grow and God uses it to help prepare us for the next test. To help grow us more and more into the image and likeness of Jesus Christ. This side of heaven…I’m a long way off…but that doesn’t stop God from using the buffeting process that He is so fond of.

When pondering this forgiveness thing…the thought came to mind, “Oh crimoneny…all this may just be a test and practice so that I will be able to easily forgive a bigger offense that is coming down the road!”

If that’s the case…then I guess I’d better get in practice…quickly. Forgive and forget…move on.

Part of that means not replaying a hurt over and over in my mind. All that does is serve to feed hurt feelings and justifies feelings of unforgiveness.

It also means that I must entrust any and all offenses and wrong doing into the hand of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…Who is just, righteous and perfect. If He deems it just and right at the appropriate time for consequences or punishment…then so be it. If He deems it His will…good, right and just to forgive their sins…then so be it. It needs to lie in His hands, not mine.

Those same hands…that bore nails on the cross putting to death my sins…also paid the price for the sins of those who have offended me. Can I not forgive those whom God Himself has forgiven? Should I stand in the place of God? May it never be.

There is but one who desires me to remain in unforgiveness. That defeated foe…the one who wants me to walk around and live a miserable life. Doubting God and His love for me. Doubting His ability to protect and defend me. Doubting His will for me and my life. Doubting His goodness, righteousness and justice.

Satan is going to hell…and while he may not be able to take me there since I am sealed for the day of redemption…Satan desires to make my life hell here on earth for as long as he can. The question is…will I choose to let him do so? May it never be.

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